Biography 133: My college life

 I came from a middle-class family. I don't have any friends from a higher class. They always cut me off from the beginning. I never felt comfortable with them. Mainly because their subject of talking goes over my head. I am not a person who talks to please someone. Which rich people generally don't like.

In Viqarunnisa college (Grade 11 and 12) I found a different situation. Most of the girls came from rich families. Their culture and world are totally different.

I remember in our orientation assembly a teacher pointed at me and say something to principal Hamida Ali. She shake her head in denial and the teacher stop saying anything but gave me a look.

I understood very clearly. I was the only one who was wearing a hijab inside the college. Maybe they were thinking it was a women's college, so why I was still wearing it. My point was we have lots of workers and some teachers who are male. So, I should keep it.

In the class there is always a group, who are very loud, don't care about other girls and keep doing whatever they like. In Bangla kind of gunda bahini. They didn't like me because I wasn't someone who showed any extra respect to them.

As I told you I was exceptional in look because of my hijab. So, everybody somehow keeps watching me. They made me feel like I came from a different planet. Some asked, do you wear this at home, do you wear it in front of family members, do you wear them when you take a bath, what do you do in the bathroom, etc. Sometimes I answered, sometimes I became speechless with the questions of these rich Muslims. These girls only knew after death they will need a Moulana to process to go to the grave.

That gunda girls use to make fun of me. They use to laugh loudly. I kept my poker face. But deep inside, I was bullied and ruined.

I felt I am in the wrong place. I am a quiet type of person, but these people made me totally shut down. I just went to college and wait when can I come back home. I was never good in study, but the situation make me totally out of the textbook. Because those remind me of my college.

Our college had so many opportunities to do extra curriculum activity, I never think to try them, I even didn't try to know the options. I felt those are for that kind of girl, I won't fit anywhere.

I remember someone asked me about a girl, she said, she also studies in the Viqarunnisa, she looks like this, etc. I even didn't try to figure out who this was, I knew I don't know anyone. So, with a name or description, I am not going to recognize anyone. Later I understood she was talking about a girl who sits just beside me! I even don't know her name. The girl was surprised and looked at me in shock for 1 minute.

My life became a mess. I didn't do good in HSC. I had got somehow 67% marks. That gave some impact on my university study.

I have expended my worse time in life in this college.

What is meant to be, will happen anyway

 When I get scared, I say to myself, what is meant to happen will happen, no matter what I do.

Sometimes I am scared thinking about what that person will think? Then I say to myself if that person likes me will like me, if dislikes me, will oppose me, no matter what I do or say, no matter how I look.

These are the truth I have learned from my small life. Now, it matters to me, how I do things. I always work with honesty and try to give my best. Sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. Actually, people's feeling isn't in my hand.

Biography 132: Stealing

 When I was in school, sometimes I heard in another class someone stole something. But it never happened in my class. I mean we were not used to this situation. In high school (In Bangladesh, it's called college) this was very normal. Especially people stole the practical worksheet. In Geography we had to do real hard work on those sheets and you don't want to lose it.

I haven't lost anything, I wasn't a good student, so the thief never felt any interest in me. I am very happy about that.

I remember in a practical exam of geography we were sitting in our class and working on sheets, in between our work, the teacher was calling our names one by one and that one person stopped her work and go to the teacher. Then the teacher asked viva questions and listen to the student's answers. When the student is done she came back to her seat and started her work again.

A girl, Tinni (In those days I didn't know her name) sat beside me. When she returned from her viva exam, she asked, did you see the TK20 in my pencil box. I was surprised, I was very busy with my work, I even didn't look at her desk. I said no, I didn't notice. I was very worried, that she might be thinking I stole her money. 

Tinni understood my situation and said, no worries, I knew it wasn't you. Maybe the other girl, who sat on the other side of me. Later I heard that another girl spends all her days going from one tuition to another and she has tons of boyfriends, she needs extra money for that and she stills from girls. I don't know how true that information was, but in those days I believed that. I became very careful with her.

Later, Tinni became my University classmate. Now she is living in Australia.

Boys love food

 My son's age was 6, I was very angry and I told him that I will leave the house. He was playing with his toys, and he became annoyed (He doesn't like any disturbance when he plays games) and said, "First cook and fill the refrigerator, then go wherever you want to go."

After a few years, maybe last year I asked him again, "Do you love your mom, do you miss her when she is not at home."

He said, "When you are not at home, I face trouble in getting food. No one is there to cook everything. When you are at home, I know, the right food will come to me at right time."

I started thinking, do all boys are the same! They like women because when women are around boys get good food on time? Food is the only time when our son misses us!

Eid Mubarak

 Eid Mubarak to you all. Have a beautiful day. Enjoy every moment.

I always hoped, planned and execute some of my plans every year. This year is also the same. Tried to clean, cook, prepare and enjoy the Eid. Have some success partly. Happy about that.

Wish everyone to be happy. Happy Eid my dear.