When we hear something good about someone, the first thing that comes to mind is how they achieved it and why we can't. This is not good. Let's think about it in another way. Let's learn to be happy for others' achievements. That won't make us any less than others. It will make us happy and give us the opportunity to learn from others and grow.
Do you know who the successful businessmen are? They are the ones who never solve the problems; moreover, sometimes they encourage the problems to keep their business running smoothly.
An example is road construction. You will find that ancient roads don't need any repair; they are still functional. But modern roads need fixing every year or month. So, the maintenance or construction business keeps going.
Another example is diseases. As long as it exists, you have to pay for the treatment.
We may say this is unethical, but businesspeople will argue that this is business tact and the way to become rich by hurting innocent people.
I hope they find a proper way to make a profit without harming anyone or leaving the problem unresolved.
Like, you can write about the campaign, or colour or decorate any wall, like a personal home, office buildings, or any shop. You can put your information on any tree, lamp post, public transport, etc. Especially during elections, the campaign party decorates the whole city. Like they own it.
There are many times in your life when others' actions upset you and cause suffering. You may react instinctively in the moment. Usually, you'll find that your reaction worsens the situation. Sometimes it might improve the situation, but it can also ruin your mood or damage your relationships with others.
If you say nothing, it might burn you inside and ruin your day. It could also give you a headache.
The best option I see is to forgive them, and also forgive yourself. You'll find you can handle everything better now. With peace of mind, you might discover a better way to solve or reduce the problem, or you will simply be able to ignore it for your own mental peace.
Bangladesh has a tradition of celebrating marriage ceremonies, as do many other countries. There are some common steps that everyone follows, some inherited from family or community, to ensure everyone can enjoy the celebration. They spend days celebrating at various locations and months preparing, depending on their budget or capabilities.
We received many invitations to join marriage ceremonies. In most cases, my mom didn't want to go because we didn't have a car at that time. Most ceremonies end late at night, making it very difficult to find a ride back home. Uber wasn't available then.
Even if we attend the ceremony, my parents just eat food and then go back home. I haven't had the chance to see any of the activities at the ceremony. I have asked them many times, but they never listen to me.
I regretted it to my friends and said I really wanted to see all the activities of a marriage ceremony. They laughed at me. They said, " You will see when your ceremony occurs." Allah knows that was a disaster.
My friend Shumi helped me fulfill this wish. She invited me to her house to stay for three days and participate in all the ceremonial activities. Well, it wasn't really an option. She ordered me to do so. I stayed with her family for three days and watched all the programs. Shumi and her family took very good care of me—more than the bride herself. They constantly checked whether I had eaten or was facing any problems. Even though Shumi was sitting as the bride, she asked her mother to check whether I had eaten anything. It was a wonderful memory for me.
During my marriage ceremony, no one looked after me like that. Everyone at my ceremony was busy eating. No one fed me. By the end, there was a shortage of seating, and people faced trouble because of the limited availability. My sister's in-laws were also invited to the ceremony. They managed to set up a new table in my room (the bride's room) and sat there to eat. Boro apa (my brother-in-law's older sister) suddenly noticed I was sitting alone. She asked, "Did you eat anything?" I said no. So, she fed me 2 or 3 bites of rice from her hand. In the meantime, the groom's family arrived at the ceremony, so she stopped. Then, they started causing trouble because of the food shortage. The restaurant was very slow, and they caused such delays in arranging the food that everyone became very angry.
A person from the groom's family came to me and asked, "Did you eat food?" I replied, "Yes" (I had taken 2 or 3 bites). She said, "What kind of bride are you? How could you eat before the groom's lunch?" Then she went to the groom's family and kept saying, "What kind of bride is this?" Just to let you know, generally, the bride's family feeds the bride earlier because she may feel shy to eat anything with the groom.
My youngest sister came to me and said that the groom and his friends are also causing a scene. They didn't like the food that was served, so they are demanding something else. I saw from the window how the groom and his friends got up from their tables and walked to another table to eat more, showing their anger.
At the end of the day, my mom came and said they were going to eat now and asked if I wanted to eat. I have seen enough to feel eat anything, so I said no.
Anyway, as I already declared, I have eaten. No one offered me food after arriving at the groom's family's house. I think I enjoyed enough food at my marriage ceremony. I don't even know what the food will look like at my wedding.
Sometimes I hear Bangladeshi people say, 'It's been a long time since I attended or ate at a wedding.' They miss the food. I also miss that food too.
Sometimes people get upset because they are not invited to a wedding. In most cases, they are not upset about missing the ceremony but about the food.
I heard people comparing or judging the food arrangement at a marriage ceremony. They said that the food wasn't cooked enough, didn't taste good, or that somewhere else was great, etc. They judge the bride's parents for not arranging a good marriage ceremony or food arrangement.
In my childhood, I enjoyed the marriage ceremony programs and food as well. They looked very delightful. After growing up, I realized how difficult and costly it is for a bride's parent to arrange everything. It requires time, money, energy, and people's judgments, especially from the groom's family. On the other hand, no matter how poorly the groom's family arranges the program, the bride's family can never speak badly, or they will make the bride's life difficult.
I think we should all be thankful to the bride's family regardless of how they arrange the ceremony. We should appreciate their effort and accept all mistakes and poor decisions. It's not only for the bride's family; anyone who arranges food for you, don't judge them, and try to enjoy the food and moments with them.
In that time, if you take pictures or videos, or record life moments and display them to the world to show how bad the situation they are dealing with is, that's not fair.
If you want to promote your activities, take pictures of yourself, your products, and the team you're working with. You can also take pictures of the area. However, never take pictures of people who come to you seeking help; they are already feeling vulnerable, and you shouldn't make it worse.
In some areas, the organization makes people stand in lines outdoors in public places. This is another form of torture. Nobody needs to know who is seeking help.
Like Muslims believe, your left hand shouldn't know what the right hand has donated. Be a human!
