My style

 This is my relaxed way of sitting on a chair. I am still trying to remember to sit straight to keep my backbone aligned.

Marriage ceremony

 Bangladesh has a tradition of celebrating marriage ceremonies, as do many other countries. There are some common steps that everyone follows, some inherited from family or community, to ensure everyone can enjoy the celebration. They spend days celebrating at various locations and months preparing, depending on their budget or capabilities.

We received many invitations to join marriage ceremonies. In most cases, my mom didn't want to go because we didn't have a car at that time. Most ceremonies end late at night, making it very difficult to find a ride back home. Uber wasn't available then.

Even if we attend the ceremony, my parents just eat food and then go back home. I haven't had the chance to see any of the activities at the ceremony. I have asked them many times, but they never listen to me.

I regretted it to my friends and said I really wanted to see all the activities of a marriage ceremony. They laughed at me. They said, " You will see when your ceremony occurs." Allah knows that was a disaster.

My friend Shumi helped me fulfill this wish. She invited me to her house to stay for three days and participate in all the ceremonial activities. Well, it wasn't really an option. She ordered me to do so. I stayed with her family for three days and watched all the programs. Shumi and her family took very good care of me—more than the bride herself. They constantly checked whether I had eaten or was facing any problems. Even though Shumi was sitting as the bride, she asked her mother to check whether I had eaten anything. It was a wonderful memory for me.

During my marriage ceremony, no one looked after me like that. Everyone at my ceremony was busy eating. No one fed me. By the end, there was a shortage of seating, and people faced trouble because of the limited availability. My sister's in-laws were also invited to the ceremony. They managed to set up a new table in my room (the bride's room) and sat there to eat. Boro apa (my brother-in-law's older sister) suddenly noticed I was sitting alone. She asked, "Did you eat anything?" I said no. So, she fed me 2 or 3 bites of rice from her hand. In the meantime, the groom's family arrived at the ceremony, so she stopped. Then, they started causing trouble because of the food shortage. The restaurant was very slow, and they caused such delays in arranging the food that everyone became very angry.

A person from the groom's family came to me and asked, "Did you eat food?" I replied, "Yes" (I had taken 2 or 3 bites). She said, "What kind of bride are you? How could you eat before the groom's lunch?" Then she went to the groom's family and kept saying, "What kind of bride is this?" Just to let you know, generally, the bride's family feeds the bride earlier because she may feel shy to eat anything with the groom.

My youngest sister came to me and said that the groom and his friends are also causing a scene. They didn't like the food that was served, so they are demanding something else. I saw from the window how the groom and his friends got up from their tables and walked to another table to eat more, showing their anger.

At the end of the day, my mom came and said they were going to eat now and asked if I wanted to eat. I have seen enough to feel eat anything, so I said no.

Anyway, as I already declared, I have eaten. No one offered me food after arriving at the groom's family's house. I think I enjoyed enough food at my marriage ceremony. I don't even know what the food will look like at my wedding.

Biye Bareer khabar (Food from the marriage ceremony)

 In Bangladesh, the food arrangements for the marriage ceremony are considered the best. People say that the food is comparable to what is served at a marriage, which helps you understand how good it is. As they say, the chicken roast from the biye barir (the home where the marriage is taking place) is especially delightful.

Sometimes I hear Bangladeshi people say, 'It's been a long time since I attended or ate at a wedding.' They miss the food. I also miss that food too.

Sometimes people get upset because they are not invited to a wedding. In most cases, they are not upset about missing the ceremony but about the food.

I heard people comparing or judging the food arrangement at a marriage ceremony. They said that the food wasn't cooked enough, didn't taste good, or that somewhere else was great, etc. They judge the bride's parents for not arranging a good marriage ceremony or food arrangement.

In my childhood, I enjoyed the marriage ceremony programs and food as well. They looked very delightful. After growing up, I realized how difficult and costly it is for a bride's parent to arrange everything. It requires time, money, energy, and people's judgments, especially from the groom's family. On the other hand, no matter how poorly the groom's family arranges the program, the bride's family can never speak badly, or they will make the bride's life difficult.

I think we should all be thankful to the bride's family regardless of how they arrange the ceremony. We should appreciate their effort and accept all mistakes and poor decisions. It's not only for the bride's family; anyone who arranges food for you, don't judge them, and try to enjoy the food and moments with them.

Eid Mubarak

 

You don't need to torture those who are seeking help.

 In most cases, when someone asks for help or comes to you seeking assistance, that person has nothing left or no one else to turn to. They are already ashamed of their failures in life and feeling low.

In that time, if you take pictures or videos, or record life moments and display them to the world to show how bad the situation they are dealing with is, that's not fair.

If you want to promote your activities, take pictures of yourself, your products, and the team you're working with. You can also take pictures of the area. However, never take pictures of people who come to you seeking help; they are already feeling vulnerable, and you shouldn't make it worse.

In some areas, the organization makes people stand in lines outdoors in public places. This is another form of torture. Nobody needs to know who is seeking help.

Like Muslims believe, your left hand shouldn't know what the right hand has donated. Be a human!

Paul Walker

He was one of my favourite actors, Paul Walker.

We have limited space to live

 We may have learned a lot about the universe and discovered many new spheres, but we haven't found anywhere humans can enjoy going to like another country. So, we only have one planet to live on.

Throughout the entire universe, people couldn't find any plants on other planets. So, to live and eat, we have to take care of this planet the way it should be.

Even on this planet, we can't live just anywhere. Most of it is covered by salty seawater. Then there are icy regions, deserts with sands and hot weather, mountains which are very difficult for humans to traverse, and deep jungles where survival is challenging.

There are very few spaces where we can live, grow plants, and keep proteins for a healthy life. We can't be so arrogant and greedy that we destroy this planet with our work. It doesn't matter how directly or indirectly we are involved; wherever these occurrences happen, they will cause suffering for all, today or tomorrow, to your child or loved one.

Let's solve all issues through discussion; let's not destroy this planet for the sake of profit. You can't eat money; you need plants and the animals that eat plants.

Let's now act like illiterates about this Earth. Let's make peace for everybody with everybody; we all belong to this earth. 

Biography 335: Lost in the books

 I used to read a lot of books. If I couldn't find any books (it was before the internet era, yes, I am that old), I even read leaflets, manuals, menus, and so on. This way, I actually learned many things. Usually, we don't read manuals, but if you do, you'll find there are many things you didn't know before.

One day, my older sister and I
went to Dola apa's house. We stayed there the whole night to join the next day's birthday program. I am sure they had no interest in taking me because I wasn't very close to them. But Dola apa was close to Boro apa, so they probably just took me with her.

As usual, I was alone in their home. I am used to this kind of situation. I started looking for something to read. Our uncle liked to read a lot. Wherever he went, he made a library there. Most of the books were about politics or very advanced topics for me. I was very young. I didn't expect anything for a teen in their house, but I was still looking at the books. Then I found some great books that could be good for me. I started reading. The whole day and the next day, I just read and read. I got so absorbed in the books that I didn't notice who had come home or how they were engaging. I found a wooden, comfortable chair on the balcony; I just sat there and kept enjoying the books and their stories. I spent good moments in that house.

Biography 334: My father didn't get the birthday cake

 It was Dola apa's birthday. We visited their home to join her birthday party. I don't know where they ordered the birthday cake, but it was very delicious.

You know, when you have a room full of people and need to distribute a medium-sized cake, you slice it into small pieces and hand them out to everyone. Sisi Apa did the same. As I told you, the cake was very delicious. I really wanted to take some more pieces because less than half of the cake remained on the tray. But I felt really shy about asking or taking any myself. The food was served by the host family, so I assume they weren't expecting the guests to serve themselves. It was probably due to how they manage things, I thought. So, I didn't help myself.

I saw a lady taking a cake by herself. I told you the cake was very delicious. But my shyness didn't let me ask for any or take a piece. After a few minutes, Lisi apa came; asked did everyone have the cake? Some nodded their heads affirmatively. She took the cake away, probably to store it in the refrigerator.

The reason for this long explanation is that there was another person, who felt shyer than I—my father. Somehow, the food distributor didn't give him any cake. He didn't sit near me, so I wouldn't notice. At night, after returning home, my dad told my mom that he didn't get any piece of cake. But dad didn't want to make them feel bad, so he chose not to tell them.

My mom isn't the kind of lady who keeps this information to herself. Probably the next day, she called her sister and told her that my dad didn't get any piece of cake.

Immediately, my aunt bought a small cake and came to our home with Dola apa. Her other daughters might also be with her; I don't remember. Dola apa and Boro khala cut the cake and enjoyed it with our family, including my dad.

My aunt kept telling my dad, 'You should have asked me.' Dad was feeling shyer and trying to hide under the floor. But anyway, we were happy to have my aunt and Dola apa at home.

I actually didn't know what happened; I was surprised to see them at home with cake. After listening to some conversations between my aunt and mom while enjoying the cake, I understood what was going on.

Happy Women's Day, 2026

 Happy Women's Day to all women, wherever you are living, regardless of your circumstances. May Allah keep you safe, healthy, and in peace forever.