Biography 92: Make your kids feel safe

 When our house was getting ready, I use to visit that place. I liked to see how they mix all the materials with cement, then put bricks one after another, how they do all of the woodwork for doors, windows etc. I think every kid likes to watch construction work. Sometimes I felt I can do those work too. Never get a chance to do it.

In those days many workers use to come and work, like construction labours, woodworkers, electricians and many more. I even didn't know all of them. Most of them were very nice to us. I understood because we were the owner's kids. One of them was very nice to our family. He use to give hugs all. Especially me. He didn't do anything else, just hug. And I felt very uncomfortable. When he tried to hug me I use to run away. But he run after me, laughing and told me, "You have to give me some affection (In Bangla 'Ador')  before you go". Then got me somehow and give me a tight hug. I hate it so much.

He use to do this in front of everyone. I told my mom, I don't like this guy. My mom asked, why? I couldn't say why, because he just hugged me.

I started avoiding that building. Unless all work is done. Keep distance from that guy as much as possible. Like when he comes to us to meet our parents I use to stay in my own room. Not to give him any more chance.

One thing, I want to tell all parents and adults. If any kid says about anyone that I don't like him/her, don't force them to meet with that person. Let them stay away from them. I am not saying everyone is an abuser. But kids can't say more, if anyhow they express their feelings, respect that and help them to feel safe.

Safe place for us

Photo credit: Tameem

We always want a safe place for us and our beloved persons. Actually as a well wisher, we want this for all living things. So, we catch birds and keep it in the cage. Then give them food, water and talk or sing with them. Then we felt good that we gave them a good place to live. Is it so? I guess birds don't think so. They want to fly in the sky and live on a tree without any problem. That's the best place for them. Same we do with animals. We think we are saving them and giving them a happy life. Where we are actually destroying their life.

Is that it? NO, we do this for human too. Actually we don't know which place is the best for one. If I think about our country (Bangladesh), I had face bad food, too much crowd, traffic jam, people don't care about the benefit of the society, education problem, health problem etc.

Now if I choose live in a better country then what might happen. My son may face drug problem, violence at school, he might had to live in too cold area, we may had no friends to give us time, loneliness may hit us, we may face trouble to perform our native culture etc.

Then where to go? But still we had see all plus and minus points and decide which might be the best solution for us. We may take wrong decision but we have to live with that.

Parent wants to keep their child safe

Shafeen with my father

Shafeen playing with a plate

Shafeen on my bed.

All pictures are decorated by my younger sister Shekha by her cell phone

We, the parent always want our child play safe (though they don’t like that at all). When Shafeen was younger I let him play on the bed. I liked it too (now both of us don’t want it, Shafeen don’t want to play safe and I don’t want him to make mess on bed with thousand of toys). I just needed to give him something to play with, like a plate, bowl, spoon etc. Mostly he played at my father’s bed. My father (he is no more) was sick so most of the time he has to stay on bed and my son gave him company.