Kid's plate for cooking

 

It's my nature to prepare all the ingredients before I start cooking and keep them nearby. Here, I was using a kid's plate to keep ingredients for different curries.

Biography 313: "Obhinondon" (অভিনন্দন)

 A kid was about three or four years old. His parent organized a birthday party. He doesn't have friends yet, so his parents invited their relatives and friends to be his companions. One of them brought a bouquet of flowers for him. After opening the door, the boy ran to his aunt, expecting a gift. But his aunt bought some flowers. She gave him those flowers, Tuberoses (in Bangla, Rajnigandha).

He took the flowers, threw them on the floor, and, while stamping on them, he was saying, "Obhinondon aanchhe, khelna anbe, chocolate anbe, ta na, obhinondon aanchhe!" (Translation: She brought Greetings/Congratulations, no toys, no chocolates, she brought Greetings/Congratulations). People couldn't understand what to do next. 

Moral of the story: Always think about age when giving a gift.

Moms stay awake for their child's study

 I have heard from many people, especially men, that in their childhood when they had to stay awake to study, their mom also used to stay awake with them and warm their food so that they could study well without an empty stomach. How much a mom loved them. Moms had to work hard all day, and still, they were staying awake with their children.

I am a mother, too. I also sometimes stay awake and sit beside my kid while they are studying. Because I know that if I am not there, they might not study well, play games, or chat all night. So, to ensure they studied properly, I had to stay with them and make food for their stomachs.

Now, I clearly understand why and how moms need to do such an act.

Biography 92: Make your kids feel safe

 When our house was getting ready, I use to visit that place. I liked to see how they mix all the materials with cement, then put bricks one after another, how they do all of the woodwork for doors, windows etc. I think every kid likes to watch construction work. Sometimes I felt I can do those work too. Never get a chance to do it.

In those days many workers use to come and work, like construction labours, woodworkers, electricians and many more. I even didn't know all of them. Most of them were very nice to us. I understood because we were the owner's kids. One of them was very nice to our family. He use to give hugs all. Especially me. He didn't do anything else, just hug. And I felt very uncomfortable. When he tried to hug me I use to run away. But he run after me, laughing and told me, "You have to give me some affection (In Bangla 'Ador')  before you go". Then got me somehow and give me a tight hug. I hate it so much.

He use to do this in front of everyone. I told my mom, I don't like this guy. My mom asked, why? I couldn't say why, because he just hugged me.

I started avoiding that building. Unless all work is done. Keep distance from that guy as much as possible. Like when he comes to us to meet our parents I use to stay in my own room. Not to give him any more chance.

One thing, I want to tell all parents and adults. If any kid says about anyone that I don't like him/her, don't force them to meet with that person. Let them stay away from them. I am not saying everyone is an abuser. But kids can't say more, if anyhow they express their feelings, respect that and help them to feel safe.

Biography 68: Kittens.

(Umlez, Saudi Arabia) Teena had a cat. One day it gave birth to 4 kittens. All were very cute. Teena gave one name for all 4 of them. I didn't like that. But Teena and her father started arguing with me. I said, if you call one, then all of them will come to you. Her father said that's the point. Anyway, I didn't want to argue with her father so I became quiet. Though I didn't like this idea.

One day Teena and I were playing in front of Teena's house suddenly one kitten dropped from the top, beside us on the concrete stairs. I saw the kitten's poops came out. We looked up and saw Teena's younger brother Faisal is dropping another kitten too. We shouted, " NO". He didn't stop, he laughed and keep doing his work.

I and Teena run to the roof and Teena tried to stop him. Faisal started crying and fighting with Teena. I was looking for other kittens. Couldn't find any. We assumed he already dropped them from another side of the roof. Late Teena and his dad went out to walk around the house and search other kittens. They found one more.

As far as I remember all died after a while. Faisal was very little. Just knew how to walk, couldn't talk. But I don't know how he became so cruel. Or it was just a game for him.

Biography 45: kids were in Saudi Arabia

 Our next neighbour was living in a two-storied building. One day, my mom and I went there to see a newborn baby. We went inside the house. The baby was covered with a blanket. My mom asked something, and they removed the blanket. I saw the baby rolled up with a rope. Something like a mommy. The kid was fully dressed and sleeping. My mom was arguing with them. She showed me, too. I didn't understand Arabic, but I could understand what was happening there. 

According to Saudi Culture, they think if they don't bind up babies like that, the hands and legs won't go straight. Like a newborn baby, it will keep bending even after growing up. My mom showed me, for example, that even if she let her grow me free, I'm 100% OK. But tradition can't go with one lecture. So, they kept their baby like that. I asked my mom later why the baby also looked comfortable. She replied, "Babies like to stay cozy like that, so they kind of enjoy that."

In those days, VCRs were new. We didn't have that. My dad's boss (A Saudi) told us that if we wanted to see any movie, we could bring a video cassette to their home, and both families could watch it together. So, one day, we went to their home. After dinner, we started watching the movie.

In general, Saudi families don't have any beds to sleep in. Their whole house is covered with carpets. Whenever kids feel sleepy, they fall asleep wherever they are. In that home, kids started to fall asleep here and there. Their dad dragged them by their hands to a single room to sleep in for the rest of the night. Generally, Saudi families have lots of kids.

Our parents watched the kids' situation and told them we had better go now. We will watch the movie later.

When I was a kid, I could go to any room, for men or women. Everybody liked me. They liked kids. And wherever I went, I got some gifts. 

One day, one uncle (Saudi host) gave me footballs. Small in size. I took. He asked my name. I told him. He opened the ball and wrote it down on the shell of the ball in Arabic. I didn't understand; my dad said he wrote your name. Actually, it was a radio. I never could use it. When we brought it to Bangladesh, it wasn't working. My parent kept it for a long time, probably because the battery was inside it, which damaged the whole thing. Poor me.

Biography 37: Dress up

 If you know me, you have seen I'm not a fashion concern person. Never I was. I like to wear new dresses and I like to wear comfortable dresses. I actually don't bother how I am looking with any dress. But I like people who are concern about their dresses.

In Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia) I wanted to wear different dresses. But my mom didn't give me that luxury. I had to wear the old dresses from my older sister. This situation continued until I became taller than her. So, what I did, I wanted to make changes to the dresses. Another reason was, every day I found that my dress became dirty. So, I thought if I wear more than one dress then every day I will just put off the front one and a new clean dress will come out.

So, I wear the longest dress first, then a longer one and at the end the shortest dress. So, all of my dresses are visible (New fashion) and also I can take off one at the end of the day.

But this didn't continue for a long time. Because adults use to laugh at me and make me felt ashamed.

Biography 25: I use to avoid those houses

In those days, I was living with my family in Kamalapur at my grandparent's (Paternal) house. I used to play the whole day outside in dust. My feet, from the toes to the knee, were always covered with dust. After reaching home, I had to wash my feet first. I knew older people (Adults) didn't like me. I could feel it from their face. they didn't want me to enter their house to make their floor or house dirty. So, if I see a nice tidy home, I didn't enter there. I just keep playing in front of the house in my neighbourhood. I am sure they didn't like that either. But I can't stop hopping around and play in my neighbourhood.

Still, if I feel someone is ignoring me or avoiding me, I try my best to stay from them. With some people it's difficult. But I keep trying, maybe someday I will be able to vanish from their life forever.

I should have noticed the kid's problem

একটা ছোট বাচ্চা  কতক্ষন খেলনা আর কার্টুন ছাড়া চুপচাপ ঘরে বসে থাকতে পারে, তাই মাঝে মাঝে জানালা দিয়ে আর দরজা খুলে বাইরের মানুষদের দেখতে চাইছিল। কিন্তু ওকে বেশ কড়া করে বকা দেয়া হচ্ছিল... আসলে আমার উচিত ছিল, ওকে বাইরে নিয়ে একটু ঘুরিয়ে আনা... বা দাড়িয়ে  থাকা। শুধু শুধু ছেলেটাকে নিয়ে বকা খাওয়ালাম...

How long a kid stays in a room without cartoon or toys? That's why the kid wanted to view outside through window and door. But he was scolded roughly for this behavior. Actually I should take him outside to spend some time outside the room. It's my fault that he got scolded...

Kids skin care

It's spring time going on, in Bangladesh. But still this season is very dry. So, you should take care of skin. Always put moisturizer on your skin.

When our kid stays in early age, we have to take care of them in every minute. Day by day they grow up and you can give them some the responsibilities of their own. Like my son (6 years old) now can put face cream on his face of his own. That's a relief too. At least one jobs less for a day…

Not to show unhappiness

Sometimes, no matter now low you feel, no matter how dishearten or upset you are, you have to be happy (At least have to show) for your family members, especially for your kid, because if you are unhappy or rude then it will bring unhappy feeling to your kid too. Why will you let your life, ruin your kid’s one? They need a happy environment to grow properly. It's their right.

Following other

When a baby born, it started following others. This attitude helps them to learn quickly. Though this is not a good attitude for elders. If they start following other without thinking whether it is good or bad then soon they will become brainless. 

Another attitude both kid and elder has. They like the thing, which is already chosen by other. To the kid, no matter how good or interesting thing you give, they will always like to have what other kid hold. Same goes for elders, if one women color their hair like blond all will like to follow her, without considering whether that color will suit her or not. If one man bought new jacket then others will start looking for it. They won't think, whether that is needed by them or not.

These situation goes for car for both kids and elders. If one had new car then others.... you can see how jealous other became :)

I wish I could get everything that I wish for

When I was a kid (even now), whatever beautiful things I saw, wish to have them… But I knew, our parent won’t afford all or any. So, mostly I didn’t ask anyone to give me those. Even now I don’t ask anyone to give me anything (if by mistake I did, nobody gives any). All can’t be wrong with me, maybe I have some personality problem that when I ask for anything, nobody feels to give that (no matter how cheap or easy things to give).

My son doesn’t think much about these. Whatever he likes he asks me to give him that. As I already faced this cruel world, I don’t say NO to him.  I always say “Yes/OK”, but can’t give on that spot. Later whenever I can I try to give him that. And when he gets it he understands that his mom is very sincere about this matter.

Let me give an example. Once in the shopping mall he saw a Christmas tree and asks me to give those colorful balls which are used for decoration with the tree. Later from Mina Bazaar (as far as I remember) I bought a set of those balls for him… he played with them as they were not that much strong, most of them are broken now. But I kept my promise.

Parents also need good guiding

Before becoming a mother I never understood that parents are like God to the kids. They are actually creating the kids life, from childhood to adult. In the Indian sub-continent, parents influence their kid's life till death.

So, every single decision for a kid is very important. One step can totally change your kid’s life. Let me give some examples. A mother may take her son to a singing school in his childhood, and later that may become the life changing event. That boy may become a good singer.

You may plan to make your kid scholar, so you may keep pushing your kid for study and never let go for other activity... later that boy may become arrogant that he doesn't like to study at all and may never be good at any other work.

You may think too much love may destroy your kid's future... but later lack of love may made him to choose alone life.

So, there is no option to make mistake... Well no body do this kind of mistake intentionally. But parents need good guiding (from media, government etc) a lot, to make the right decision for their kid.

We can't forget that the kids are the future of our nation...

Please don't give anything extra ordinary things to your kid in school

Kids always like to copy others. If one kid touch any toy from a bowl, all will like to have it. No mater what other toys left. All will believe that their life is depending on that particular toy. In school if one kid start wearing sunglasses, then rest of the student will start follow that kid. And then all other parent have to buy sunglasses for their kid too.

That's why please don't give/bring anything extra ordinary to your kid in school. Because then others might like to have that. It's not a good situation for parents. If I don't give that new thing to my son, he will stay upset, will try to have it from that kid by forcing, if fail may keep looking at it. It's not a pleasant situation.

kids also like to play game on cell phone

Dia likes to play with her brother always… seems sometimes games are more important

Kids always likes to play with another kid. But things are changing now. Like adults they may started like to play with cell phone more than another kid.

If you are gone, no one will be there for your kid

Many times you will see people who have wealth with a big heart. They help everybody as much as they can. Do you know what happens with their kids when they die? 

People who used to talk very politely will suddenly become harsh. People who used to feed them with a smile will suddenly stop feeding them. Nobody will like those kids or be willing to give them their time.

No matter how much you do for others, when you will die nobody will be there for your kid. 

The same thing happens with you, too, when you lose money and fall into trouble. Never expect people to remember your good work during your bad times or when you're financially strapped.

Be prepared, when you are gone, no one will be there for your kid, except Allah.

As a parent

When you became parent, you are not just giving birth of a child. You started building the kid’s life. If you make one mistake, your kid’s life can be destroyed. For your one good step, your kid can have a tremendous life.

Sometime we the parents don’t care to show our love to our kid. We think we are doing hard work to build their life, they will understand automatically that we love them a lot. Yes, they will, but they won’t learn how to love other, how to show their sweet affection, not to you too. They might look rude always.

When we go outside, we let them play independently. But we always should keep an eye on them. Sometimes while playing, they might make big mistake and get injured, which may cause trouble for the rest of their life.

In Bangladesh, from very beginning of educational life, we start giving pressure on our kid; don’t care about their little life, little happiness, and little freedom. Actually we are destroying their childhood. After grownup when they will think about their childhood, they will scare. Moreover, we are damaging their brain permanently. Afterwards, they will forget how to think out of the box or showing their creativity.

When we choose their educational path, some may think, my kid is not good in math, I better make them study in arts (where the kid might like and understand science very much). We should remember Einstein wasn’t good in math too. Once we made this mistake your kid has to handover on many subjects that they might are very good.

Some parents don’t give all vaccine to their kids on time, sometimes because of laziness, sometimes in fear of side effect or many other reasons. Just think, (may Allah not do so) if the kid get effected by those virus, then what will you do? Do you want to let suffer your kid?

Kid’s photography

Photo credit: Shafeen

Kid’s photography is one of the toughest jobs in this world. My son use to cry loudly in photo studio during taking passport size picture till he became 4 years old. Still I feel difficulty while taking his picture. He moves a lot, so picture doesn’t come well. I salute to those baby photographers who can manage kids and take good pictures.

You can enjoy your time with a kid

You will feel a great fantasy when you see a kid grow up. I am not telling you to take responsibility of the kid. Just watch and enjoy. It could be your neighbor’s kid. When you observe a kid, you will see how they tasted everything on this earth. They try to taste everything first. When they grow up a little, they will like to touch first to understand. After grown up, first they will like to see. They way the learn about every details of this earth, you will see, they are working like a scientists.

For you they will bring freshness of life. If any how your mind became off, try to spend time with kids without thinking about anything else. Trust me you will feel better and will learn many things from them.