Biography 293: Some memories at Barua Sir's home - E

 At Barua Sir's math coaching classes, we don't only study math; sometimes we discuss other simple topics, argue, or share opinions. It's not that we intentionally set up these kinds of sessions; it just happens organically. Sometimes, Sir has to stop us to save our coaching time.

One day we started talking about ediction. Not about drugs, but about eating Paan (Betel Quid) or cigarettes, which is a very common habit in Bangladesh. Well, we weren't talking about how other people are doing; we were talking about how our family members are doing.

I told them about my father. He had stopped talking to Paan several times, but he started again, saying he would have just one after dinner or lunch. Then it began increasing, with him having it at every meal. He used to say he didn't look good without Paan. We tried many times to stop him, but failed.

In the meantime, Mrs. Brua started talking from inside the house. She always listened to us, sometimes joining our conversations as if she were a member of our team. She was saying, "To whom are you saying this? Ask your teacher how many times he stopped taking tea!"

That was new information. No teacher talks about their bad habits. Sir smiled and said, "She was talking about his tea habit." I didn't know tea could be a bad habit. Sir said, "He drinks tea 30/40 times a day with milk and sugar."

Now we are surprised; is that even possible? Sir, he said, he is trying to reduce it. Again, Madam said, "He reduced it quite a few times, but then went back to full mode."

Biography 184: My first tour to Cox's Bazar (The road)

When I was in grade 8 or 9, my youngest uncle (Maternal) used to work in Bandorban Rubber Garden as a manager. The owner of the rubber garden was Sohel Rana (Masud Parvej), a prominent actor in Bangladesh. My uncle had a fruit garden too of his own. His family used to live in Cox's Bazar because of his kids' education, and he had a shop in a mall.

My uncle knew he lived near a big travel spot. So, he always tries to take any of his nieces or nephews with him whenever he comes to Dhaka or Faridpur and shows them the beach of the Bay of Bangle.

One day my turn came. Because my annual school exam was finished. My uncle just asked once. And I happily agree to go with him. My other cousin-brother Ranku Bhai (May Allah keep him in peace) visited our house then, and he joined us.

In those days, there was no direct bus service from Dhaka to Cox's Bazar. My uncle took us to the bus terminal at Arambag (For Cox's Bazar and Chittagong buses).

The bus took us directly to Chittagong, and then we changed to another bus to Cox's Bazaar. We started very early in the morning. When we reached the bus stoppage by rickshaw, a man joined us. Ranku bro said it is his friend and will go with us too. The individuals were totally ready for the journey. Clearly, they knew about it before, but not me or my uncle.

My uncle agreed to take him too to his house. In those days, there were no mobile or cell phone systems. People really used land phones on the road. So, my aunt (My uncle's wife) had no clue that 3 extra people would go to their house to live for a couple of days.

Before reaching Chittagong, we stopped at a roadside restaurant to take our lunch. These restaurants are built for highway travellers. Their food was good. Washroom was clean. Then we start our journey again.

Here I have to mention something. I am not a bus person. In my childhood, I even couldn't ride in a car. When it started moving, I used to begin vomiting. After growing up, I have more control over this problem. Now a day, I just stay relaxed and head up all the way. If I even try to read something or check my cell phone, I feel like throwing out everything.

I was in school and didn't have control like this time. It was a huge bus and a long journey. I felt terrible several times but somehow held it till Chittagong.

In Chittagong, we get down from the bus. It was afternoon. We took some rest and got on the next bus. By this time, my brother Ranku had bought some Champa Banana. He ate and gave us too. I tried one. It was good, probably local fruit.

Then the bus started moving. And I couldn't hold anymore. I throw out everything. Couldn't take my mouth to the window, though I sat beside the window, my uncle sat beside me. My brothers sat behind us. My uncle cleaned me up with a gamchha (Cotton towel). In those days, people didn't use to carry tissues. He told me to keep the window open always and keep my mouth near the window so that I won't get dirty again.

But his anger went to the Champa Banana, indirectly to my brother. They started fighting. My uncle asked why he gave a banana to me. I didn't have this problem after lunch or snacks but after taking the banana. My brother said it's not the banana; it's the poor bus. Smelling like gasoline. I tried to stop my uncle, and my brother's friend tried to stop my brother. Both of us failed. No matter how many times I said, it's my problem. No one listened.

I threw out two more times, but I became an expert by that time. I used the window to clear my stomach, and no one got dirty.

We got down before we reached the main Cox's Bazar beach area. There was a small market by the highway, and my uncle lived nearby village.

When we reached my uncle's home in the evening. By that time, fighting was stopped, not over. Both of them (Uncle and brother) stayed silent for the rest of the tour.

যাকে ভালবাসো, তার সম্পর্কে বাজে শব্দ ব্যবহার করো না (You shouldn't use bad words for you loved one)

যাকে ভালোবাসো, তার সম্পর্কে খারাপ কথা কি করে বলো, রেগে গেলে যদি মাথা ঠিক না থাকে, যা খুশি বলতে পারে, যা খুশি করতে পারো, তাহলে আমি স্পস্ট করে বলব, আমি এই বর্বরতাকে পছন্দ করি না.

তোমাদের কাছে হয়তো এটাই ঠিক, আমার কাছে নয়.

How can you use so bad words on someone you love. In anger if you can say anything about them and do anything with them, then I must let you know, I don't like it.

May be it's OK with you guys, not with me.

When you say, say well about the person

Generally what we do? We meet people, we discuss about others, and off course we say or give bad info about others. And people felt happy, when they say and hear something wrong about others. Why is this? Do you like to have same thing happen with you too? You will say, I didn’t do anything like that. Yes, maybe you didn’t but you must have done something else, and people can talk about that.

When I was in Dhaka University, as a student, I found a girl named Zeba, is totally different with this kind of attitude. I have seen she always says good things about people. I surprise, to see that, when anybody does anything good or just say any good comment to other. She tells this to other person. Those people get to know that someone is talking good about them. And they became good friends. Everywhere she was giving the positive energy.

I wanted to grab this good attitude, from then I have stopped saying any bad comments about others. No matter how true they are. I started hide others bad things and say only about good things. I don’t lie, but only those truths. It really makes me happy.

Self confidence

You will often see people comment badly about you, your looks, your work, and your success. You have to know which one is true and which is not. Otherwise, if you start believing them, they will make you a permanent loser, like if you are good at singing. But your family and friends never encourage you. They might say you are okay but not good enough. And if you start believing that you will never be a good singer. Believe in yourself. Ask yourself, if you don’t get a chance from others, it doesn’t mean that is your fault. Maybe others couldn’t understand. Keep searching your way. And have faith in you. You might change your fortune.