Happy Birthday

 I like to greet people on their birthdays. I used to call them, sometimes at 12 am, just to start their day with a smile. Then someone told me, "Don't do this, especially with boys. They will think you have a crush on them."

Well, I only did this with my friends, colleagues, and family, and later I heard some of them say I had something on my mind, which is why I called them. Some said, I have an interest in them.

I surprised. Maybe I am not born for this world. Anyway, I stopped myself. It's true, I feel great when anyone says Happy Birthday, give me gifts. But I better not do this with others, because, they took it wrong, sometimes.

So, yeah, I don't say, but I wish everyone a Happy Birthday.

Nowadays, I send birthday messages on their FB Messenger. Who likes, replies; who doesn't, doesn't answer. I understood, from next don't send them any more messages.

Never lose your hope

 When you know someone is going to frame you, you see how they set everything against you. No matter what you do, you might still face trouble or not get what you expected, but never lose hope. You never know how Allah can change everything in a moment. Don't let others change your attitude. Be yourself and keep doing good work. InshaAllah, you will live your life in peace and enjoy your moments happily ever after.

And for your own mental peace, forgive them. Allah might give you something better than revenge.

Biography 275: Gifts

 I like to receive gifts. I enjoy giving gifts to others, hoping that it brings them happiness as well. Maybe not.

When I started my job, I spent all of my first month's salary in four days, just by buying gifts for my parents and siblings. I hope they liked it. Maybe not.

As I had expended all my money, I had to take care of my daily expenses from my dad, just as I used to in my student life. My mom told me that Dad didn't like that. As I have started working now, I should have taken my responsibility by myself.

I understood. I never asked my dad for money again. Next time, I asked my mother for a loan when I started preparing to move to Canada. I have returned her money. Tried to send gifts to her and to my siblings whenever I could. I tried to send my mom monthly pocket money.

I hope they liked it. Maybe not. 

But my mom liked it. Though she didn't spend that money on herself. She wanted to save those for me, in the hope that when I visit Bangladesh, she will spend on us.

I also tried to give gifts to others. Friends and families. In most cases, I felt they didn't like my gifts. Maybe not.

I felt happy for all.

 If you look around online, everybody is happy. Some have a new job, some have a promotion, some have visited new places, and some are happy because they have met their friends and family. I feel happy for everyone. I don't compare myself with anyone. Everybody has their own achievements and their own life stories.

No one shows how scared they are. How did they spend their time in life? So, everyone is happy.

I used to believe that when people said they were happy. But when I know them better, I see how much they suffer daily.

So, when anyone shows happiness, I feel happy for them. At least in one matter, they are delighted. I don't want any sorrow in anyone's life, neither mine. Watching others' troubles never made me happy. No matter how much I dislike them.

Happy New Year 2025

 I wish everybody a very happy New Year in 2025. I wish the world would choose peace over any conflict. Let's all live happily, stop harming anyone, and take good care of this planet.

May Allah bless us.

Who is happy?

 Unmarried people are not happy. They want to get married. They want someone permanently in their life.

Married people are not happy with their marriages. They think this is the biggest mistake they have ever made.

Then who is happy?

Divorced women.

Yes, I am saying it's the women who become happy after divorce. Because men understand very shortly how precious their married life is, no matter what they say. They generally get married within 2/3 months after getting a divorce.

You will see that women don't get remarried quickly. They can't forget about that trauma so quickly.

Mental comfort

Everything is like a mental game. When you are mentally strong and sound, you can do many things. You will find a way from each problem, you can progress the way you want to. So, try to be there where mentally you feel comfortable.

Our Prophet Mohammad (May Allah give peace to him) was born and grew up in Makka, Saudi Arabia. But he decided to live his life in Madina. Because those people loved him, gave him a home to live in. He didn't ignore their love. He stayed with them for the rest of his life.

I want to live and be with those people, who gave me mental comfort. Where I feel loved. Not those who are rich and have a good position in society. Or likes to play mental games. Though I admire intelligent people and most of them are like that.

That's why I wanted to be with them, who are happy to have me. My presence gives them happiness. And feel comfortable too.

Productive time

 In a day or in 24 hours, if you expend only 24 minutes in a productive way, you will see a long-term good result.

What I want to say is, sometimes we stay stressed, physically not in 100% ok etc. Maybe somehow we manage to do our daily routine. But we don't make any productive time. So, maybe for a couple of minutes from a day, we should try to do something productive. You will see good results immediately. And this will make you feel better, live better.

From far away

 Some beauty you enjoy more when you stay far away.

When you see pictures of deserts. Like camels are walking, people with very colourful dresses dancing, pictures of the sand storm, sunset in the desert etc. They all look very beautiful from far away. I won't say they don't when you stay close, but then you are also feeling the heat of the desert, sands go into your mouth and nose. Beauty comes with some consequences. When you are in the AC room, you can only see the beauty, you don't have to feel it physical hardship. I mean you are already in a comfortable position and enjoying the pictures of the desert, you may have no idea that beauty came with some terrible weather.

The same thing happens when you see the beauty of snow and winter in a cooler country. You can never imagine how painful cold can be if you never lived there.

When you see a beautiful happy family from far away, you actually can never guess what exactly happening in their life. Life isn't that beautiful, it's not heaven. That's why sometimes we see a girl/wife/husband from a happy family suddenly suicide/broke up/run away. You can't judge other's life from far away.

Difficult to understand, is it a sad song or romantic? 4

 When I saw this song, I saw an actress was crying and singing. I assumed it's a very heartbroken song.  The melody of the song also feels like someone is very sad and singing this song in tears. Is it? When I concentrate on the lyrics I felt, it's actually a very happy song. Someone can't hold her tears because of happiness. The voice of Nilufar Yeasmin really matches the song.

এতো সুখ সইবো কেমন করে

How to sew so much happiness

বুঝি কান্নাই লেখা ছিল ভাগ্যে আমার

I understood that living in tears was my destiny

সুখেও কান্না পায় দুচোখ ভরে।।

so that I get tears in happiness too, with my eyes full

দুখের স্রোতে ভাসা ফুল

Flowers floating in the stream of sorrow

কোনদিন পায় না তো কূল।

It's doesn't get any day to end.

আমি বুঝিবা পথের ভুলে

Maybe I came here by mistake

এলাম নতুন কূলে।

to the new shore

এ পথ আবার দূরে যাবে কী সরে।।

Will this path will go away?

স্বপ্নের মত মনে হয়

Sounds like a dream

হারাবার তাই এতো ভয়।

That's why I'm so afraid of losing it.

তুবু যেটুকু পেলাম আমি

Yet as much as I got

প্রানের চেয়েও দামি।

More precious than life.

চোখের জলে সবই যাবে কী ঝরে।।

will all be gone with tears (Someday)?

Difficult to understand, is it a sad song or romantic? 3

 I hard this music as background music of some ADs. It is very energetic music and I liked it. I thought this must be a very happy song. When checked out its music video, I had to say, " Oh no!"

We judge

 

We judge people, intentionally or unintentionally. Sometimes we judge them by their name, dress, work etc. Then based on our judgement, we put our own expectations. Especially in competition. If that person can't stand our expectation, we became angry, sad, irritated. Not on our judgment, but on that person. We started thinking that person is wrong, they couldn't come up with our expectations. 

We never think, that our judgment can be wrong. We believe that our thinking is best for them. We know what can make that person happy. The truth is we may not reach that person's satisfactory level. Maybe that person is doing something for some other reason, which we don't know, or can't think about. We never think, what may make us happy, may not good enough for others. They want something else which we don't think important.

 Let me give you an example. When we see a couple's picture, we started judging, this is not a good match. Because their culture doesn't match, their beauty is not matching, their social status, job or for our own benefit or anything else. But can you see that couple's heart? How happy are they with each other? Is your satisfaction more important than couples?

If they break up then you will say, Yes, I knew it. Excuse me, maybe they had a very enjoyable moment that you can never think about or never had. Now for their own good they had decided to stay apart. Your life, enjoyment has nothing to do with their life. Let them be happy, either by staying with or without.

We better keep our nose out from other's personal happiness. No matter how close friends we are. Because the same thing can happen with us by other's judgement.

Happiest moments

If I look back, the happiest moments I had, was my misunderstanding. I thought something happened, became very happy, then after a while, the truth came in front of me, I understood, it was something else. Maybe things were not true, but my happiness was real! Why would I ignore it?

Why can’t I have it?

Playing with my mind. Trying to accept things easily, as it comes or didn’t come in my life.

If I didn’t get anything, then there could be any of the two reasons behind it.

One, I didn’t deserve it.

Or two, the thing doesn’t deserve me. Either way, it is good for me and I must take it easy.

The truth is I can’t do anything about it, so I better accept it happily, if I want to be happy.

I will try to be happy with it.

After watching those people who are at my age, who are doing very good, have good position in society and listening the suggestions about my life from people around me, I understood, I should have done so many things, which I didn't try at all. But as usual I always face difficulties to make time to go for any new thing. Now a day this failure giving me a lot of pressure in my mind that I can't sleep. sometimes for 3/4 days I stay awake. Now I am feeling like my head is spinning, I can't remember small things, like where I am going, what I was planned to do etc. Today I became too sick that I couldn't go to my work or even work at home. I had to take break from my fasting after puke. My headache became too difficult that I had to just sleep by taking relax-ion tab.

But still, I am convincing myself, may be I am taking baby steps, but I will move forward. Whatever comes in my life I will try to accept that and will try to be happy with it.

রাগারাগি করছি ছেলের সাথে (Showing anger with my son)

ছেলে যখন নিজের বুদ্ধিতে নতুন কিছু করে, মা হিসাবে খুশি হবার কথা... কিন্তু হতে পারছিনা।  বরং রাগারাগি করছি ছেলের সাথে। আগে ক্ষুধা লাগলে আমাকে সব কাজ ফেলে বা ঘুম বাদ দিয়ে ওর খাবার তৈরী করতে হতো। এখন আমাকে শুয়ে থাকতে দেখলে নিজেই বুদ্ধি করে খাবার বের করে ফেলে। আজ ফ্রিজ ঘেটে জুস বের করেছে।  এরপর সেই জুস খুলে খেতে গিয়ে কিছু মেঝেতে ফেলেছে, কিছু জামায়, কিছু গায়ে। ফ্রিজ বন্ধ করতে পারেনি ঠিক মতো। দরজা খোলা ছিল। অবস্থা দেখে বিশ্রাম নেয়া মাথায় উঠল।...

I should be happy to see my son working by himself or trying to do something of his own. But I couldn't. I became very angry and shouted with him. Let me give you an example. One day he saw me lying down on bed. So, he didn't ask me for food, he searched in the refrigeration and found a packet of juice. But while he trying to open it he fall some on the floor, some on his dress and body. Even he couldn't shut the refrigerator well. Now tell me, after watching this, how could I take any more rest?

না বুঝেই খুশি হয়ে যাই (Became happy without knowing the truth)

[English version has given below]

কাউকে যখন আপনি ১/২ বছর ধরে জানেন, তখন এটা খুব স্বাভাবিক যে আপনি বুঝতে পারেন, তাকে কিভাবে খুশি করতে হবে। আর সে যদি বোকাসোকা / সহজ সরল হয়, তো আরো সহজে বোঝা যায় কিভাবে কি করলে খুশি হবে/ মন ভালো হবে।

আমার কথাই ধরুন, বেড়াতে যাবার কথা বললেই লাফাতে থাকি। একবারও ভেবে দেখিনা, কত খরচ পড়বে, কার সাথে যাচ্ছি, যে বলল, সে কি ভদ্রতা করে বলল, না কি আসলেই নিতে চাইছে সাথে।

আজও একজনের কাছে শুনলাম নৌ ভ্রমনের কথা। আল্লাহ জানেন আসলেই হবে কি না হবে। কিন্তু আমার মুখের বত্রিশ দাত বের হয়ে গেছে, এই খবর শুনেই। বুঝিনা সবাই কি আমার সাথে ফান করে? করুক, এক মুহুর্তের জন্য তো ভালো লেগেছে। তাই বা কম কি?

[০৬ ই ডিসেম্বর, ২০০৬]

When you know a person for 1 or 2 years, probably you know how to make this person happy. If that person is little stupid or easy going then that it will be easier to understand, how to bring smile on their face.

Like me, if anyone offer or just mention about any travel plan, my heart start jumping. I don't think about the cost, with which I am going, is just for saying or not, is that person really wants me to go....

Today I just heard about a river cruise. Allah knows will it happen or not. But I couldn't stop my happy feelings by just hearing the news.

I really don't know do people make fun with me because I am so stupid? Let them do, at least for one moment I felt happy and for me, its priceless...

[December 06, 2006]

এখন বেশি খুশি হতেও ভয় লাগে (I even feel fear to be happy now)

সব সময়ই দেখে আসছি, কোনো বিষয় নিয়ে সুখি হলেও, সেটা বেশিক্ষন স্থায়ী হয়না। তাই এখন বেশি খুশি হতেও ভয় লাগে. ভয় লাগে এই জন্যই যে কোনো অদ্ভুত কারনে আবার না সেটা কিছুক্ষনের মধ্যেই চলে যায়... যাকে বলে একেবারে ফুটো কপাল, যদিওবা ভাগ্যে কিছু থাকে তো সেটা সেই ফুটো দিয়ে চলে যায় :(

I have always seen, I can't feel happy for long moment. Somehow the reason of happiness goes away. Now a day, I even feel fear to be happy; don't know why it may go for ever... like always. In Bangla there is a proverb "Fortune with a hole", so no matter what you have in your fortune goes away through that hole...

সুখের গান (Happy songs)

[English version has given below]

আমাদের দেশের মানুষের মনে হয়, দু:খ বিলাস আছে। এ কারনে এরা শুধু দু:খের গান শুনতে পছন্দ করে। আমি মনে করি, এমনিতেই  আমার দু:খ কম নেই, যে গান শুনে আরো বেশি করে মনে করতে হবে আমি কতটা দুঃখী। 

কিছুদিন আগে হাবিবের "ভালবাসব বাসবরে বন্ধু, তোমায় যতনে" (কথা ভুল লিখতে পারি, ভালো মতোন শুনতে পাইনি রেডিও 2ডেতে) গানটা শুনলাম। খুব ভালো লাগল। আমার ধারণা ছিল, বাংগালি প্রেমের গান বলতেই বুঝে "বুকটা ফাইট্টা যায়" টাইপের দু:খের গান।

[২২ শে সেপ্টেম্বর, ২০০৬]

I think, our country people like to bring sorrow in their mind. That's why most of them like to hear heart breaking (sad) songs. I believe I have enough sorrow in my life, so no need to listen sad songs to feel it more.

Few days ago I heard a song of Habib "Bhalo basbo basbore bondhu, tomay jotone (I'll love you with care, darling.)" at radio 2day. I liked it very much. I thought Bangladeshi people only knows love songs which is heart breaking like "Bukta faitta jay (My heart breaks in parts)".

মন ভালো থাকলে (When you are happy)

[English version has given below]

মন ভালো থাকলে কি না ভালো লাগে, অতি বিরক্তিকর কাজও কত স হজে করা যায়। গায়ে জর নিয়ে বৃষ্টিতে ভেজা যায়, অসুস্থ অবস্থায় কাজ করা যায়, সাড়া রাত জেগে গান করা যায়... কতো কি... 

কিন্তু কেন জানি এই অবস্থা বেশি ক্ষণ থাকেনা। কোনো না কোনো কারণে দু:খ আবার আসে ।

[১২ ই এপ্রিল, ২০০৬ রাত]

When you are happy, everything looks nice. Any worse or painful work can be done easily. You can go in to the rain with fever; you may awake whole night and sing... there are many more things which you may do...

But you know this good feeling or happy feeling doesn’t stay for long. Something happened and the sorrows come back.