Biography 258 : Friday

 At a young age, Friday was very special to us. The moment I am telling you is when we returned from Saudi Arabia and lived in a rented apartment. We were waiting to complete our own building. I was newly admitted to a primary school.

Every Friday was a government weekly holiday. That was the only day in the week that we had school and the office closed. The whole family was staying at home. My father used to do his weekly grocery shopping from Khilgaon Kancha Bazaar.

I have always liked the meal cooked on Fridays. Because it tasted very good. Now I understand; it was because of fresh ingredients from the bazaar. Another reason was that my dad used to stay home, so my mom tried to make new items that day. I remember that our big launch table was filled with various food items. My dad also used to enjoy the Friday meal with all family members.

On that day, BTV (Bangladesh Television) started its channel in the morning. On other days, only after 5 pm. They played cartoons, kids' programs and many other special programs that day. We sisters used to watch it together. We used to play together after lunch. While our parents were sleeping. No matter how much we tried to keep our volume low, finally, we ended up shouting, fighting or laughing that my mom used to come up from her afternoon nap and beat us up. Because, she couldn't sleep because of our high volume of noise.

Now I can understand her position. She used to make special breakfast in the morning when we were all at home. Then, my father brought a weekly bazaar. Those were very raw in shape. Like chicken and fish, all were alive; vegetables needed to be washed, cut, and cooked. She had to cut all and pack up for the rest of the week, including cooking for that day, and she had to clean the house. Everything has to be done in a very short time.

We, sisters, used to clean shaak (like spinach, mustard leaves, etc)  for her while watching TV. That took hours for us to separate all from rotten ones and wash them. Mainly, my older sister and I did this job.

Maybe I liked Fridays because the whole family used to enjoy the day together. My parents used to wake up early in the morning. As we didn't have school, we stayed in bed as much as possible. My father had only one day to spend time with us. So, he tried to wake us up by calling our names, increasing the TV volume, and sometimes singing at a high volume while my mother was making breakfast. We sisters became annoyed with him, but never woke up early. We always tried to sleep as much as possible. This was our only day to sleep in more in the morning.

Now I understand how my father missed and tried to spend time with us. My mother was working alone from very early in the morning. She sometimes became very angry with my father, and he always tried to enjoy time with us by watching TV or playing. He never tries to make us study.

We were happy that our parents didn't disturb us in studying.

Biography 24: Same dresses

 There was a trend about kids' dresses when I was young. In those days parents use to make dresses for a kid by a tailor. Readymade dresses were not available much and weren't popular. It was expensive. Parents use to buy cloth. Then asked the tailor to make dresses for all kids by the same cloth. So, we had to do matching-matching without any other option.

When I look at my childhood pictures, in almost all pictures we were wearing the same dresses. As I told you earlier my older sister was a very good type of girl. Obviously, her dresses stayed in good condition. I was the raff and taff girl. So, soon it tore up. I still don't know-how.

I have seen our family always bought new dresses for my older sister. All of her old dresses were dedicated to me. I could get a new dress only on Eid. I didn't like to wear old dresses. Allah listened to me. When I was in grade 06 (As far as I could remember) I became taller than her. I thought now I will get new dresses. But my bad luck never left me. Getting old dresses had stopped, but still, my parent always gave me one dress on Eid.

When we go out, we always wear a better dress. But I don't have much, only 2 good dresses, which I got on Eid. So, I had no choice but to wear the same dresses always in my dance and singing classes. Everybody knew me, for my same dress. See, everything has a good side.

But I didn't mind. I still don't like to ask or demand anything. You will give me, whatever comes from your heart.

Biography 17: Dance

 I think, after learning how to jump, I didn't waste any single day without jumping or running till teenage. One day my parent took me to watch a movie in the cinema hall. We were waiting outside for tickets. In the meantime, someone played a popular movie song. I recognized that and screamed, it's my dad's song then started dancing. My mom said she felt very embarrassed at that moment. I still don't know why? Why in our country (Bangladesh) people don't like to see a girl dancing, jumping around as she wanted.

Because of too much movement, my uncle (My mom's older brother) asked my mom to teach me to dance. My mom first admitted me to Bangladesh Shishu Academy in the dancing class. I had learned dancing over there for 4 years. Every month they had some program, and because of that, I became used to dancing on the stage. Sometimes our teacher took us out for an outdoor performance.

Then mom realized to become good at dancing, I should learn classical dance too. She took me to Bulbul Lalito Kola Academy. Here I had learned dancing for 4 years too. I attended both places at the same time.

At Bulbul Academy one day we have got a substitute teacher, Mr. Shingho Roy. His family was traditionally involved with classical dance. My mom wanted me to learn better so she asked him to join as a private tutor for my dance. He agreed, for a couple of months, he teaches me Manipuri dance, Kathak, Gypsy dance. Later he became a dance instructor in the movie so couldn't give me time.

I didn't realize it in my childhood but now I understand, why my mom put so much effort into my dancing. She knew I'm not going to take it as a profession. But I was doing really well. On those days I have competed in many kids competitions at the dancing section. And each and every time I have got prizes.

During those days I have joined a TV program too. It was a Bangla New Year celebration program. The of the program was "Chhoy ritur ei desh"/ The country of six seasons. I was at the Spring dance and side performer in the winter part. This was my very first earning. I had taka 65 for this performance.

In those days, I use to choreograph my own performances. Especially for the competition and stage show.

I was very young, but during this period of time, I realize, how people make good relations with teachers and get benefited, people use the money to get a better chance etc. And I knew, I'm never going to do this kind of act.

I have stopped learning and dancing on the stage when I was in grade 5. I knew I wasn't the best at dancing, but I knew this too that I was very good at dancing. Wherever I danced, people liked it so much.

I had a dream, someday I will dance with my man, romantic dance types or just holding together in the music. Someday I want to dance with my son too. I want it a little bit funny way. Till now he said, he has no interest in dancing. Let's see.

Biography 13: Haircut

Earlier, people use to think, if you cut (I mean totally bald) your hair frequently, that will make your hair grow more and strong. So, in my childhood, my mom uses to cut me and my older sister's hair many times. But, as I told you earlier, I wasn't the girl who can sit down for some moments without moving a bit. In this condition, it wasn't easy to cut my hair. So, the only chance my mom had is when I fall asleep. But that was also very rare for my condition. So, whenever I fall asleep, she shaved my hair. Most of the time I woke up in the middle of her work. So, she couldn't complete her work. Then I play around my neighbourhood with half hair on my head. People laughed at me. Who cares? Later whenever she got a chance to shave the full head, she finished her work.

From my 5/6 years of age, my mom uses to give me Chinese style hair cut. I assume it was easy to do. I have started growing my hair at 8/9 years of age and after every 1/2 years, I use to trim my hair. That day my older sister was my hairdresser. I had cut my hair in a hair salon at the age of 29/30. I just wanted to make my long hair short. The girls at the hair salon didn't want to do that. They asked me, "Why are you cutting your all long hair? Did you ask your husband first? Let us cut a little bit, then decide later what you want to do". Finally, they said, they want to keep my hair for their training purpose. I said, Ok, no problem.

After 5 years of arriving in Canada, I have cut my hair short by myself. I could not give it a good shape by myself. I just wanted to distract myself. Anyway, it doesn't matter how it looks. It matters how I feel and I felt better.

দৌড় (Run)

[English version has given below]

ছোট বেলায় সবাই আমাকে ডানপিটে বলত (আমার তা মনে হ্য়না)। ডানপিটে বলার কারন, আমার দৌড়াদৌড়ি আর চঞ্চলতায় সবাই ছিল বিরক্ত (আত্নীয় স্বজনের কথা বলছি)। স্কুলে গাছে উঠতাম (কিছুদুর উঠতে পারতাম, বেশি না) বলে অন্যান্য ছাত্রীরা বলত "কলমি" (একটা নাটকের চরিত্র, আমার পছন্দের কোনো চরিত্র ছিল না)। 

বাস্তব সত্য হলো আমি দৌড়ে মোটেও ভাল ছিলাম না। কখনও কারো সাথে দৌড়ে পারিনি। ভুলেও স্পোর্টসে দৌড়ের কম্পিটিশনে যাইনি। এ্যানুয়াল ফাংশনে যখন স্পোর্টসের পুরস্কার ঘটি-বাটি জগ দেয়া হতো, তখন সেগুলোর দিকে লোভনীয় দৃষ্টিতে তাকিয়ে থাকা ছাড়া আর উপায় থাকত না। পুরস্কার আমিও পেতাম, তবে সেটা হতো বই। আমি জানি বইয়ের উপর উপহার হয় না। কিন্তু ঘটিবাটির উপরও আমার লোভ কম না। দৌড় দুরে থাক।, এখন তো জোড়ে হাটতেও পারিনা। ভাবছি রানিং মেশিন কিনব...। ভুড়ি কমাতে হবে।

[০১ লা ফেব্রুয়ারি, ২০০৮]

In my childhood, my relatives use to call me reckless (I do not agree). They use to say like that because they were very much disturbed with my running and Restlessness. In school life, I use to try to climb up trees (Didn't succeed much) and other students called me "Kolmi" a character's name from a daily soap (I didn't like that character either).

Actually, truth is, I was never good at running. I could never win by running with anybody. That's why I never try to take part at any the competition in the school, at sports day. In our school annual prize ceremony, I had nothing to do but keep looking at the sports prizes. They were mainly kitchen accessories. I also had prizes in other category and those were books. I know, the books are the best prize at any time. But I like those accessories also. Now I even can't walk fast (Can't think about running). I think I should buy a running machine so that I can have control on the fat of my stomach.

[February 01, 2008]

It’s difficult for me to adjust with this world

I have heard, in my childhood I was very friendly. I used to communicate with any person of any age. If any kid came to our house, I always tried them to stay with us by giving toys and by telling many stories. But day by day I changed. I changed because in many ways I found negativity (off course I have many negative things too) in people and I tried to avoid that. The only safe solution for me was to stay away from them. Soon I became alone. I forget how to spend time with others. I started enjoying my life by reading books, drawing pictures, singing, dancing etc.

But real life is very complex. I can’t stay alone. I am living in a society, taking benefits from it and I have to maintain some rules. Now for work and other things I had to communicate with people. The difficulty is I am not good in talking, not good in continuing any relationship, my headache starts if any one’s attitude hurts me, people easily can hurt be by their words or attitude. I am trying to accept this world. Trying to solve all problems or where I feel bad. It’s too difficult for me. But I will try and continue trying. I don’t have any option to get rid of these problems…

It’s music time

Shafeen playing with dhol like a drum in the boishakhi mela. He was 4 years and 4 months old

Shafeen playing guitar (toy), he is 4 years 5 months old.

Shafeen playing with mouth organ, he was 3 years and 11 months old.

Shafeen is playing tobla with his milk tin. He was 1 year and 9 months old.

In your life you may have touched and play many music instrument. Do you remember those? Let me think, what I played. Hmm, I played harmonium, tobla, guitar (Hawaiian), maybe that’s it. My son also wants to play music instrument, as much as he may manage to get. He tried tobla, dotora, piano, dhol, guitar, mouth organ, whistle etc.