Biography 295: Some memories at Barua Sir's home - G

When I first decided to dress up like a muslim girl, I first started covering my head with a long cloth (Chador). I was in grade 10. I started covering my head and continued studying at Barua Sir's math coaching.

Then I realized that my hair wouldn't stay in my covering, so to hold it in place, I started wearing a small cap first, then the main Orna (a Long cloth that comes with my dress).

Shyama, one of my class mate in the coaching once started saying, what is this, first cover your head now added more items to cover your hair. I just want to inform you guys that she is a muslim woman too. Though she doesn't cover her hair. Before anyone says anything else, Borua Sir said, "NOBODY WILL SAY ANYTHING TO HER. IT'S HER CHOICE." Just to let you know, Borua Sir wasn't a muslim man, he follows Buddhism. And I found him to be a great person and a great teacher. In that coaching, nobody said anything to me about my dress up.

Later, I asked my mom to make a Burqa (A long, loose garment covering the whole body from head to feet, worn in public by many Muslim women) for me. She ordered the tailor to make one for her and one for me. Yes, in my home, I started wearing a muslim dress first. Then my mom. Later, my sisters. And I never ask anybody to follow me.

Let them go

 We shouldn't hold someone who doesn't want to stay with us. We should let them go because we love and care for them and respect and honour their decision. It's not necessary that we have to agree with them. We just have to let them go. Let them be happy or taste their own decision. We have to find our own happiness without them.

Respect

 During the lunch break, I was with my co-workers in the lunchroom. Actually, they came from another company to do some contract work. Their skin is white and I don't know what is their origin. It's a little difficult in Canada to know who is from where. Those guys were speaking in English.

From my cell phone app, the Azan sounded. Those guys stopped the music that they were playing and after the Azaan they again started it. I prepared (I always keep a small mud tray to make tayammum) and sit in a chair in a corner to say a prayer. They again stopped the music, even they were not talking with each other. Then I had completed my prayer and again they started everything.

I surprised. They were showing respect to my prayer. I even didn't expect these from unknown people. Hats off to you guys. Real Canadian.

Biography 06: Mom

My mom was a full-time worker, and most of the time, she had to work more than her work time. She was doing very well in her job, had taken all the necessary training, and always stayed at the top of her colleagues. When I was 7 months old, my mom had to go to Khulna from Dhaka for a six-month training course. When she returned, I forgot her.

My mom is a short-tempered person. She has high blood pressure. She has gone through several surgeries. But she holds and keeps up our family including my dad's family and her parent's family. I told you she worked really hard for income, then at home to raise 5 kids. She has taken care of our education and also took us everywhere for our extracurricular activities. My dad liked the food, and she used to make different kinds of food. She was the one who worked with the labourers to build our 5-story building. Still, she is maintaining the house and taking care of all tenants. She did it all at the same time.

I love and respect my mom. But I always keep some distance. As I mentioned earlier, she was short-tempered. When she gets angry, she screams and uses her hand like all Bangladeshi moms. I'm the one who suffered most of the time. Because I wasn't good in (Compared to my other siblings) education, I didn't like to read, I liked to run around the house and drop things. One day, I escaped from our home with my sister and went to my uncle's house. My dad once told me, "Why don't you run away when your mom started hitting you?" I respect her. Another day, she was scolding me, and my son was 3/4 years old. He loves both, so he pushed Granny outside the room and locked the door. Then told me not to go outside now.

I know, most of the Bangladeshi mom raises their kid this way, this is their way of parenting. But for me, this situation created a big gap between my mom and me. I never went to her on any issue like other girls do (And they should). I didn't tell her when my period started, I didn't tell her when someone tried to abuse me, I didn't tell her anything that happened in my school, dancing or singing classes. I was all by myself. Still, I am.

I talk with my mom but don't try to continue more than 5 minutes. I know after that we will start arguing. My son loves his granma. She uses to bought him potato chips (Because I didn't want to give him). Even now she asked me to buy chips for him.

My mom is a very hard working woman. She helped every single relative who needed it. she takes care of all of us. Still she works more than me. I wish I could do something for her to make her life a little easier.

Every individual deserves this privacy

If anyone ever liked me, maybe only for some moments. They earned lifetime respect from me. I honour them. Theses feelings are priceless.

 

When any person directly or indirectly expressed their feeling to me, I had never disclosed it to any other person. None of my best friends, mom or sisters know about them. I believe every person deserves this privacy.

 

You have every right, not to love any person. But you have no right to make a joke about their feelings.