Woman outdoor

Why can't you treat a woman as a human? Why is your mind like that? A woman is only for sexual pleasure?

If a new woman joins an office, all male colleagues will go and check how beautiful she is? If not, I will be depressed. Like office recruits females for your eye's pleasure. Don't they work? Don't they give input to raise the company?

In every award function, you will see when a male comes; first, they are introduced for their work. When a woman comes, they are introduced for their beauty! Like all functions are for beauty contests, only women's beauty is considered over there. Even in a beauty competition, women had to answer and get marks on their intelligence.

Don't you want to see a woman with you at work, education, road? Don't you enjoy the company of a woman as a human? Don't you want to use her intelligence in your company?

Don't you want to let her live like a human rather than a sex toy?

 Why can't I have a male friend? To whom I can go out, discuss, and enjoy time like a human. Why would that person think that I am with him to have sex?

সত্যিকারের বিড়াল প্রেমী (A real cat lover)

[English version has given below]

গতো শনিবারের কথা আজ না লিখে পারলাম, কালকে অফিসে আসিনি, আর লোডশেডিং এর জন্য বাসা থেকেও পোস্ট করতে পারিনি। শনিবার, অফিস থেকে বের হলাম 7টায়। হাটতে হাটতে কোনো বাহন খুজতে লাগলাম, যাতে বাসায় যেতে পারি। এই ব্যাপারে আমি খুবই খোলা মনের, রিক্সা, সি এন জি অটো, ক্যাব ... যা পাই তাতেই উঠে পরি। কিন্তু শনিবার বোধহয় সবাই ছুটিতে থাকে। কিছু পাচ্ছিলাম না। গুলশান 1ং গোলচত্তরে অনেক্ষণ দাড়িয়ে রইলাম। একে তো রাত, তার উপর কারেন্ট নেই, সাথে ধুলা, গার্মেন্টস কর্মিদের ঢাককা সব স হ্য করে দাড়িয়ে রইলাম। কিছু পাচ্ছিনা। এমন সময় কেউ একজন ঢাককা লাগিয়ে জানতে চাইলো, কি সি এন জি পাওয়া যাবেনা? আমি তাকিয়ে দেখলাম, একজন মোটা মতোন মহিলা, বোরকা পরে আমার পাশে। আমি জানি আপনারা এমন চিন্তা করছি বলে রাগ করবেন, কিন্তু পরিস্থিতিই এমন ছিলো। আমি প্রথমে আমার হাত ব্যাগ ঠিক মতোন ধরলাম, কে জানে আজকাল বোরকা পরে ডাকাতি করে শুনেছি। আমার বিশেষ কিছু নেই, কিন্তু যা আছে আমার জন্য অনেক। আমি ওনাকে বললাম না কিছু পাওয়া যাচ্ছে না। উনি ওনার কাহিনী বলা শুরু করলেন, উনি এখানে কোনো তাফসীর শুনতে এসেছেন, প্রতি শনিবার আসেন। আমি সল্পভাষিনী চুপচাপ শুনতে থাকলাম। এরমধ্যে তিনি যেনে নিলেন আমার বাসা কোথায়, বললেন লিফট দিবেন। আমার সন্দেহ বাড়ল। তারপর উনি একটা রিক্সা ঠিক করলেন যা অন্ত ত: বাড্ডা রোড পর্যন্ত যাবে। ওখান থেকে আমরা আবার সি এন জি খুজবো। উনি রিক্সায় উঠে ডাকলেন। আমি 1সেকেন্ড ভাবলাম। তারপর ঠিক করলাম যা হবার হবে, উঠে পরি। বাড্ডায় গিয়ে সি এন জি পেলাম না কিন্তু রিক্সা পেলাম, তাতেই দুজনে উঠলাম। সাড়া রাস্তায় উনি কথা বলতে থাকলেন। এক পর্যায়ে বললেন আমার বিড়ালকে 7টায় খাবার দেয়ার কথা, দেরি হয়ে গেলো। এবার আমার কথা ফুটলো, "আপনার কয়টা বিড়াল"। উনি গোনা শুরু করলেন... 2,4...14টা!! না একটা নিচে থাকে 15টা! 6টা এক ঘরে থাকে, 6টা আরেক ঘরে। একটা অসুস্থ, ওটাকে নিয়ে আজ ড:এর কাছে যেতে হবে। আমি ওনার স্বামীর কথা জানতে চাইলাম, উনি বললেন সে ওনার সাথে থাকেননা। ছেলে মেয়েরা আমেরিকা আর কানাডা তে আছে। উনি নিজে লন্ডনে থেকে পড়াশুনা করেছেন। (আমি খুবই লজ্জিত হলাম, প্রথমে ওনাকে ভুল বোঝার জন্য, আসলেই উনি খুবই মমতাময়ী ভাল মানুষ্) বাসার কাছে এসে আমার ভিজিটিং কার্ডটা ওনাকে দিলাম। ওনার নাম "আরা"। উনি বললেন আমি মনে মনে এটাই চাইছিলাম, পরে যোগাযোগ করবো। আজ এই ব্লগে ওনার কাছে ক্ষমা চাইছি। প্রথমে ভুল বোঝার জন্য।

[২৭ শে ফেব্রুয়ারি, ২০০৬]

I am talking about last Saturday. I wanted to write it before but yesterday I didn't come to office and at home faced power fail problem. At Saturday I came out from office 7 pm. Then started searching any vehicle to rent and go to home. In this matter I am very open-minded, I can take anything to go home, like rickshaw, taxi cab or CNG auto rickshaw etc. But I felt everybody enjoying their holiday and I couldn't get anything. I had to wait for long time at Gulshan 1 square. You can assume my position; it was dark night, then no electricity, dust, pushing of Garment's workers etc I had to tolerate. 

Then suddenly a woman, little over weighted with hizab pushed me and said, "Today won't we get any CNG auto rickshaw?” I know you will be disappointed with me that I could think like that, but trust me, situation was like that. I hold my bag carefully, because I heard on those days some woman with hizab are stealing people's things. I didn't have much expensive thing in my bag, but whatever I had was important for me. I replied to her, "Nope, couldn't get anything?” Then she started saying her story, she came here to hear narration of Islam, every Saturday she came here. I don't talk much, so I keep listening. By this time, she gets to know where my home is. So, she said, she will give a lift. It brought more doubt about her. Then she found a rickshaw which will take us to Badda road. From there we will again start searching auto rickshaw to go home. I thought for 1 second, then get on the Rickshaw, I don't care anymore.

We went to Badda then couldn't find auto rickshaw so we took a rickshaw to go home. It was a long way and she keeps talking. While talking she said, she had to give food to her cats at 7pm... Now it's becoming late. This topic opens my mouth, "How many cats do you have.” She started counting... 1, 2, 3 ok 14... no no it's 15. 6 cats live in one room, another 6 lives in other room. One became sick, so, she will take that to the doctor today.

I asked about her husband, she replied he doesn't live with them. Her son and daughter lives in US and CANADA. She had completed her study from London. (I really felt ashamed for what I thought about her at the beginning; actually we should never make wrong theory about anyone unless you really get to know what that person really is). Soon we came near to our home. I gave her my visiting card. She said, in her mind actually she is thinking about it. She will contact with me later. Her name is "Aara".

Aara, I am really sorry for making wrong guesses about you at the beginning. Your cat loving really touches my heart.

[February 27, 2006]

This is why woman don’t want to let her son go

If I had little cough, my son (5 years old) run and bring me water. If I had headache, he sits beside me and put his hand on my head, to heal me. If I say, I am not feeling good, he stays beside me or play beside me to make me feel better. Whatever he eats, give me some to taste. He said, when he grow up, he won't work, but will do all work of me... may be because of these no woman likes her daughter in law. Because, after marry, his son's main love and focus goes to his wife. This should be. And a mother can't tolerate this. Because except her son, no one really take care of her, or give emphasis on her. So, she tries heart and soul to keep her son with her, and make the daughter in law look enemy to her son, because she has nowhere to go, except her son.

This thing should be change... woman should love her son, not rely her life on him. She should let him go and enjoy his own life. Woman should remember, he is her son, not part of body. He has his own life, like she should have. Love shouldn't kill other's life, it should let grow others too. If she really could make her son love her, he will always love his mom. Otherwise, mom should live her own life, without relying anyone else. Old home isn't a prisoner. It's a place where same age people can live together and enjoy their life in their own way... why should we bother others...

Both are human, then why one has to take responsibility?

In our society or even in the world, man and woman has different style of work, different responsibility. From the Creator a different responsibility came to woman on kid and rest made by the society. Today I am not going to arguing on that.

I point is on other side. After married a woman has to have or do many responsibility to her in laws family in Bangladesh. What about man? Why not man take responsibility towards his in law family too? Why this difference? Both are human.

Woman, you have to live like a second class citizen, otherwise you may leave

As a wife, in our country, you have to live like a second class citizen (in many cases you can use the term slave), otherwise you may leave. And if you leave, mostly the other woman (mainly married) will say you are the bad woman.

Let me give you an example, why I said like a second class citizen. Say your mother in law gave you two eggs with a packet of bread to make Toast (Bombay toast) for 7/8 people. After start making the food, you found, two eggs are not enough, so you went to the refrigerator and see 4 eggs available. You took another two and made all the bread toast. People liked your food, but suddenly you heard, your mother in law started screaming with his boys (including your husband). You could guess, it was about the extra eggs that you took.

Then your husband came to your room with upset face, took his money bag and went out to shop. He brought some more eggs for his mom. Though, he is giving all the bills and rent of the house and his brother giving the food expenses. But if you touch any food, your husband has to give the food cost too.

So, you have no right on anything. You are not the main member of the house. You just have to stay, eat food and listen to others.

We should have little more respect on women sections

In Bangladesh, we, women are little reserve. So, almost everywhere there is a women section, where women are working for women. Like security checking, lab testing, tailor etc. And it should be. But you know… women section is always very interesting for men. Boys will be boys, really difficult to make them understand to give some space for women.

Let me give you an example. In Mouchak Market, every tailor keeps a woman to take measurement of the girl’s body for making dresses. This is good. In the market, most of the tailor shops are surrounded by glass. So anybody can see other’s customer. When a lady start giving measurement by a lady, all the boys of other tailors start looking at her… and so on. You can assume it’s not a good feeling for any lady.

In every lab, they keep a woman (at least one) to take ECG. If you have experienced previously, you must understand it’s not a comfortable situation for any woman in front of any other person. In Square Hospital I had to test ECG (long time back). Among 3 staffs (all women) one took me in a covered area and start taking the report. When the ECG report were taking other staffs (woman) came and looked on me (you know what I mean) and left. I felt they came just to see my body! Allah knows, nobody will like this attitude.

We have to be little more civilized in these sections.

What more you want?

Dia and Shafeen are cooking.

I got to know a girl. She works for a good mobile company. She is living with her husband and 2 kids. And now a day husband’s sister, brother, father (sometimes) and mother (occasionally). She spends all her money on her family, so that her husband can give his money to his parents and raise his other siblings. He couldn’t save money for his own children's future. His wife saves some, but she had expended those in her husband’s sister's marriage ceremony. Now, what is the position of this wife to the family? Everybody loves her for sacrificing everything for this family.

NO, nobody from her in-laws' side likes her. They want more. She kept 2 maids working at home and caring for her children while she worked outside. Her husband’s family wants her to cook for them. They tell everyone they know their sister-in-law isn’t good enough. She doesn’t cook for them! They don’t care whether she should live or not, no matter how hard she works and spends money for them. They want more and more. They have different policies for making her cook. One day her father-in-law boiled some vegetables to eat, and then her brother-in-law asked to stop it, because it would reduce her work.

See, what a life of a woman in Bangladesh. And this condition is very natural in our social life. We don’t think that all are making a woman’s life miserable… We always encourage the groom’s family to be hard on their bride.