Biography 16: Slide

 Before I became 3 years old, I get admitted to Will Little Flower school. In the playground, my main focus was on a big slide. But I was too small to try and I had to climb up at the top with big steps. I remember I had climbed up somehow, but couldn't get the courage to get down by sliding. Because of me, others couldn't play. They were asking me to go down. I looked at the stairs. They were way too big to try to go down. So, finally, I had to sit down and let the slide take me to go down. Later I have seen other kids use to hold both sides to slow down the speed. I didn't know that and the slide was too sleeper. It quickly takes me down with big force. Obviously, I couldn't hold at the bottom, I fall down, kind of lay down. Nobody laughed. Some kids help me to stand up. Maybe I got hurt too. After that, I have decided no more sliding. I didn't.

After grown up, I have started sliding at the water park. Trust me, still, fears try to hold me down. But somehow I just put myself in it. Then try to enjoy the fear.

যে কিছু পায়নি, তার আর হারানোর ভয় নেই (The person, who never gets the thing, does not have any fear of losing it.)

[English version has given below]

যে কিছু পায়নি, তার আর হারানোর ভয় নেই। নেই, পেয়ে হারানোর কস্ট। শুধু কিছুটা আফসোস হয়তো থেকে যায়, হায়, আমি যে পেলাম না. এটুকু আফসোসটুকু না করলে আর কোনো কস্ট নেই.

সবাই সব পায় না. এমনকি কেউ কেউ কোনদিন জানতেও পারেনা, সে কি কি পায়নি. এটাই ভালো. কিছু বিষয় জানার চেয়ে না জানলেই ভালো. এতে অন্তত:: কস্ট কম হয়...

The person, who never gets the thing, does not have any fear of losing it. Not even have pain to lose that thing. Yes, they might have little regret in life, that they didn't have it. Otherwise there is no pain.

The truth is everybody doesn't get everything in their life. Some even never know what they actually didn't have. It's good, sometimes it’s better to not to know all. Knowing what you have missing gives more pain.

If that person give me a smile, my heart sank

We all like good behavior at every place, not only in customer service. In any workplace, hospital, transport or any organization you will find some people to help you. Well nothing is free. Their charge (salary) is already included with the total cost. They should give you good behave, smile or help without asking.

But things are not that easy in Bangladesh. When someone is working for me, and that person give me a smile, my heart sank. I understand very well, that after the task, this person is going to ask money (bokshish). And I am bound to give that (not officially).

Even any person start talking with me (not related with work), I understand this person is trying to make good impression on me to ask money. And I was always right.

Few days back, one rickshaw puller started gossiping with me on the road, about the weather, his kid etc. And as suspected, that guy took double fair from me. Almost by force, in front of my house he was shouting.

From hospital when I was preparing to go home (after giving birth of my son) one nurse started taking very good care of me. I knew I have to give more money to her than other. I did. But she wasn't happy with that. So again I had to make it triple (from others) then she leave me (or let me go).

Some fear with toys

Shafeen, didn't agree to ride on the game behind him.

Shafeen is a brave boy. He never gets afraid of jumping from high, climbing up in tough place, hitting cockroaches or other insects etc. But, don’t know why, he afraid of things which moves by itself. That’s why he doesn’t afraid to ride on a real horse, but the toys which moves by itself. He doesn’t have problem to play with big toy horses. But never let me put coin to move it. I hope it’s not a big issue.

Convince yourself to start

Shafeen was holding my hand and playing with the sea water

We have fear on big things, which we never tried, where we can assume problem. If anyhow, we just touch or give first step, we can see all that we guess fearing are not dangerous or humiliating at all. You just need to convince yourself to start. Then all will be done smoothly.

Shafeen was afraid of Sea. Then I let him touch the water on my lap. He started liking it, then played long time in the sea. At the end I had to fight with him to take him back from water.