Sunday, May 20, 2018

I can like anyone, right?

For me, loving someone and liking someone have huge difference. I can like anything or anyone. But love means something big for me. When you love someone, you can do or go anywhere to achieve or just to stay with them or sometimes just to make them happy. Liking won't let you go that far.

I am married, and I have a son. Still I am talking about it, because I felt many people misunderstands me. I like many people as a friend, as a human, as a teacher, as a colleague or just passerby. I am good with everyone. I help everyone as much as possible. But sometimes, this attitude create misunderstanding. People started believing that I love them. I don't know what to do with it.

When I was in the university, one of my friend told me, I should have feel proud and enjoy these situations. Let them think like that. I am not losing anything.

Well I tried, but I never felt good about it. Be my friend, I need you. Just don't take anything too far, that I can't reach it.

Friday, May 18, 2018

I will try to be happy with it.

After watching those people who are at my age, who are doing very good, have good position in society and listening the suggestions about my life from people around me, I understood, I should have done so many things, which I didn't try at all. But as usual I always face difficulties to make time to go for any new thing. Now a day this failure giving me a lot of pressure in my mind that I can't sleep. sometimes for 3/4 days I stay awake. Now I am feeling like my head is spinning, I can't remember small things, like where I am going, what I was planned to do etc. Today I became too sick that I couldn't go to my work or even work at home. I had to take break from my fasting after puke. My headache became too difficult that I had to just sleep by taking relax-ion tab.

But still, I am convincing myself, may be I am taking baby steps, but I will move forward. Whatever comes in my life I will try to accept that and will try to be happy with it.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

I was wrong about me

From teen age I realize people likes me. Where ever I go people wants me to make their daughter in law. Somehow, they always use to find out a man in their family. It could be their son, brother’s or sister’s son, brother or any other relative and started to convince that poor guy to marry me. Because they thought I could be a very good daughter in law.

When I became adult, I found boys around me likes me. They try to offer me to marry or make a relationship with me.

From these situations I thought, maybe I am very good person, who can be a very good wife and daughter in law. I never have to be afraid about in laws family.

After marriage, I realize I was wrong. My in-laws family don’t like me, they found thousands of negative points about me.

I like to travel new places. So, in the University I wanted to study on Geography. I had heard, this subject’s students go for study tour every year in different places. And, I will be very happy to learn about the world. Though my family didn’t like it, I admitted at Geography & Environment and after 2 classes, I realize, I have made a very wrong decision. This is not my place.

I work sincerely, always try to improve myself and work in a way that the company gets benefited. I believed my bosses will understand my work and will give promotion or increase my wages. Again, I found myself very wrong. I thought may be when I will get chance to work abroad, smart bosses will promote me. But again, I was very wrong about me, maybe I don’t have any extra ordinary quality so that no one interested to help me grow in the company.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

If the temperature goes below -30 c

Today when I went out, it was feeling like -34 c. I wore a boot, which had said that can cover till -30 c with a regular pair of sock. I was fine for first 30 minutes. Then my toes started frozen and I started feeling tremendous pain on my feet. I started walking to keep my blood circulation through toes and I felt little better. What I have learned from this situation is I have to wore thermal socks if the temperature became below -30 c.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

I am not going to be like them

I always believe, if I don’t take anyone’s harmful vibe, if I don’t accept, no one can hurt me. Now a day, a person and her gang has only one issue in their life. How to demotivate and humiliate me. Somehow, she became insecure with my quality and they are good in their negative work, I think they succeed in some cases, too. But they are not stopping their activity. Where I am doing nothing. No action, no complain, no shouting. Only watching what they are doing. After meeting with them it takes hours to recover me from their bullying attitude. In my mind I broke several times. But somehow, I am fighting inside me to ignore and recover myself. I am not like them, so I am never going to repeat their attitude. I am good, I want to fix things with my good attitude. I don’t know that I will succeed or not. But I am not going to be like them.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Mashed potato, staffed with eggs: (Alur chop)

Potatoes 1kg
Butter 2 tbl spoon
Black pepper 1/2 tea spoon
Bread crumb 1 cup
Eggs 5
Onion (sliced) ½ cup
Cilantro or Mint leaf 2 tbl spoon
Green pepper (diced) 1/2 (As much spice as you want)
Salt (According to taste)
Oil (To fry)

·         Boil the potatoes and mashed them.
·         Mix butter, black pepper, and salt with the mashed potato
·         Divide potatoes in 16 balls.
·         Boil 4 eggs.
·         Remove the shell and diced them.
·         Take on egg (Not boiled) in a small bowl and crush it.
·         Put the fry pan on the stove and warm 1 tbl spoon oil.
·         Fry onions in that oil.
·         Mixed the boiled diced eggs with salt, black pepper, green onion, and mint.
·         Divide boiled eggs into 16
·         Now put one part of eggs from 16 into one potato ball. You can shape it as the way as you want.
·         Put the potato ball into raw crushed egg and then in bread crumb. Then keep it in a plate
·         Make all 16 potato balls like that
·         Fry it in oil

·         Serve it with any favorite dipping.

Credit: This is from Siddika Kabir's recipe book

Monday, January 29, 2018

I keep quiet

People get extra benefit in front of me and I do nothing, just watch it. Even when I was standing at the same place but could not say anything. Where I should remind them that I should have this benefit too. Because I was at the same condition as the person is getting extra benefit. But I couldn’t.

I don’t want anything by force. I believe if things meant for me, it will come to me, whether I try or not. And, I don’t feel good after any fight, so I avoid it always. I know, fighting for your own right is necessary for some condition. But I really don’t like any kind of fight, it hurts me so much that I better let things go. Later your Karma will catch you, I don’t have to do anything.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Get chance to stay at home

Once upon a time, I use to sleep a lot. A lot means both day and night. Then after becoming a mom that thing changed totally. Now in Canada I have 2 jobs, part time student and also a mom. I could only sleep 4/5 hours in 24 hours. Life became crazy. But things changed after a while, first my work places reduced my working hour, which means reduced money. I got some time at home and I was happy that at least I can take care of my family more. It was really needed. Then I became sick. For couple of days and now I am staying at home. Mostly lying on my bed, it's really rear now a day. Trying to give myself rest as much as possible. If I can't get recovered by 3 days, I have to make an appointment with a doctor, by tomorrow. Let's see what's next. Just trying to enjoy my sick holidays as much as possible on bed.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

How you will be judged at Developed country

Somehow this got in my mind that, in 1st world, people respects peoples' work skill, people get promoted and valued by their skill, dedication and honesty. But, you know, this is not 100% correct. If you start working in developed countries, you will see here also people helps to those people whose origin is from their origin country, who knows how to butter the upper level and have big mouth to cover all answer. Some management even don't have skill to understand actually who is the one for whom their company is doing good in the market. More over, they give promotion unskilled person to the management level , because that person actually not useful on the field, so keep them at management that they don't have to work at root level.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Where blogging lives

Blogging became popular, just before Facebook come into our world. People use to read, write and share their thoughts in blog. And then people started getting involving with Facebook, they stopped blogging. Instead of blogging, they are now posting posts in Facebook wall. I am like that too. More people are checking our posts than blog. Now a day, blogging is only continuing with very few people, who come online only to read or search any topic to research or just for curiosity.