Cultural differences between Canada and Bangladesh

It's not about knowing the language. It's about how well you understand the language. When I moved to Canada, I heard many words from people. When I translated those words into my mind, it didn't give me the real meaning. After living for several years, now I understood some of those words, what they wanted to say to me. Or I understand, what I shouldn't say to them.

Sometimes, it's not words. People did something in front of me to say something. I didn't get that. Now I know about some of those from movies or from personal experience.

My cultural background is different from Canada. There are many things that people expect here like there are many ways to say to an unknown person or to offer something or showing interest. But I'm kind of a fool in these issues. Even in my home country, I didn't understand many of those offers.

In our country, when we started to know any person, or any colleague or classmate, we easily can ask the contact number. Here when a person asks the contact no, without any official purpose, it means that person wants to date you. So, don't ask contact no, unless you really need it and explain why you need it before you ask for it.

In our country, if we get a know a person, we asked them to visit our home and have a meal with us. Here you will or should only ask like that if that person became a very close friend. Otherwise, that person may think, you have some other intention to invite.

If, out of blue, any colleague or a known person came to you and say “Thank you “ then leave before you answer, it doesn’t mean they are happy. It means that the person is very angry on a specific actions of you.

Now about the sign to get close ... hmm nope, maybe some other day I will talk about it ;)

Biography 24: Same dresses

 There was a trend about kids' dresses when I was young. In those days parents use to make dresses for a kid by a tailor. Readymade dresses were not available much and weren't popular. It was expensive. Parents use to buy cloth. Then asked the tailor to make dresses for all kids by the same cloth. So, we had to do matching-matching without any other option.

When I look at my childhood pictures, in almost all pictures we were wearing the same dresses. As I told you earlier my older sister was a very good type of girl. Obviously, her dresses stayed in good condition. I was the raff and taff girl. So, soon it tore up. I still don't know-how.

I have seen our family always bought new dresses for my older sister. All of her old dresses were dedicated to me. I could get a new dress only on Eid. I didn't like to wear old dresses. Allah listened to me. When I was in grade 06 (As far as I could remember) I became taller than her. I thought now I will get new dresses. But my bad luck never left me. Getting old dresses had stopped, but still, my parent always gave me one dress on Eid.

When we go out, we always wear a better dress. But I don't have much, only 2 good dresses, which I got on Eid. So, I had no choice but to wear the same dresses always in my dance and singing classes. Everybody knew me, for my same dress. See, everything has a good side.

But I didn't mind. I still don't like to ask or demand anything. You will give me, whatever comes from your heart.

If you are posting something online

 When you post anything online, you can put it in any language. But online means it is available to everyone. The world can see it, read it and react to it. So, why will you put it like for only one group of people, who will be able to understand it? I am talking about putting things with an English version or subtitle. When you can put things in front of the universe, why don't you take the advantages of it or give the advantages it?

For example, on Youtube, people put their songs. Some songs are so good that I liked to share them with all the people I know. But all of them don't understand the local language. We should put a subtitle or put the English translation of it in the description or comment. So, people, who are not familiar with your language can also understand it. Who knows, it may become more popular. Or the message you want to put in front of the Universe can be seen.

Biography 23: Comparing with my older sister

 My older sister is the best. From my childhood, I had to hear this. Do I believe it? NO. That's why, when everybody asked me to be like her, I never tried that or even think about it.

She is very polite. She is good with all relatives, neighbour, teachers, classmates etc. She is very good at her study. She had got the talent pool scholarship in her grade 5 and 8 exams. She had passed SSC with *marks and 3 laters (In three subjects she got marks 80+) and She took 13th place in Dhaka board in her HSC. She had completed her MCom in Accounting.

She started cooking in her school life, whenever my mom went to visit my grandparents. So, she handles the house. Everybody use to say such a polite and gentle girl.

What about me? I never fulfill my parent's desire like my sister. I wasn't gentle in my childhood. I liked to jump and run. I didn't like study. I never got scholarships.

In SSC, when my sister did very good, my grandfather (My dad's uncle) made a golden earring and came to our home with my aunt (His daughter). Before he left, he looked at me and said, do good in SSC like your sister. I smiled and felt shy, I knew I'm never going to do that. Then my aunt said, "Why would she be like her sister, she will do better than that". Everybody laughed at loud. Because that was impossible.

But the reality gave me a little twist, on the days I had got a new exam system. Objective questions. So, technically I did much better than her. Just for one mark, I didn't get the last position (Among 20) in Dhaka Board. No, I didn't get any earrings for that or any prize or appraisal from anyone.

Restaurant food

 I like restaurant food.  I would have ordered more restaurant food if I knew that all the restaurants are maintaining all healthy procedures to make and serve foods,

I like to taste different kinds of food. I have some favourite options too. I like the taste of restaurant food. But the main reason for liking restaurant food is 

1. someone else is going to make food for me, 

2. someone else is responsible to serve the food 

3. and mostly someone else is responsible for cleaning.

Yes, I like restaurant food. Mostly because of these three reasons. I know some women too, whose husbands said, they like homemade food but they don't know why their wives like restaurant food. Sir, now you know the reason.

Biography 22: Ice

 Bangladesh is a hot and humid country. When I was a kid, the refrigerator wasn't available to all homes. In Kamlapur, before iftar, some people brought huge chank of ices by big Semi (In Bangladesh we called it truck). A couple of people hold one of them and bring it down on a jute mat (Chhala). I have seen the big ice cube were covered with brown powder. Someone told me those are wood powder to prevent the ice from melting quickly. People from our the neighbour go that particular point where ice cube had been brought and buy according to their need. Some guys were dedicated to cut or break it into small pieces with hammers and other tools and sold them. Most people bring those ice cubes in a jug, then at home, they put it in water to drink cool water in Iftar. We liked that very much. We felt like heaven.

Now I'm living in a wooden cottage and it is covered with snow. I'm walking on snow, living in the snow. How life gets changes.

Who makes others successful?

 When we see anything, we first judge by its look. That's very natural. Like we try to have an idea of how a book will be by its cover. Though we all know, this can't be a good judgement, but we still do. Our brain is like that. Before it sees or understands the whole thing, it started to have an idea with whatever information it got first or see first.

Another example can be a movie. In movies, it is not the actors who always work best or do the best. But when I see a movie in our mind we give all credits to them. They became the most famous in the movie. But they couldn't do the movie all by themselves. There are other people who are working behind and make or help to make the total movie success.

Now, let's come to the main point. We always see people who are successful in life. In most cases, they were not alone who make them successful. We all know about scientist Albert Einstein. He could concentrate on his work and work better after having his second wife. She wasn't a scholar. But she loves him enough to take good care of him and let him concentrate or work better. No one will say she was successful. But she helped a man to be more successful.

Most of the woman do whatever it needs to do to make other (Husband, kids, brother, lover and father etc) successful. It's very rare that you will find a woman who doesn't care about these people, but concentrate on her own success. After caring for all, it is very difficult to take some time for any person's own. But by using this limited-time there are some women who are successful. This situation is very rare for a man. If women didn't need to think about cooking, managing household work and problems, I'm sure they could do better. I am not saying they shouldn't have done this, if they don't look family like this, no one is going to do so, the family life will be scattered. 

Today I am saluting those women also, who may not look like to have a successful life, but they made others life successful. Happy International women's day.

Biography 21: A common question to make fun

 I don't remember when I went to Saudi Arabia. My mom uses to do a government job in Saudi, so she had got a visa to take us (I and my older sister) to her. A black man was working in the airport. He helped us with our luggage. In the end, he pointed to me and ask my mom, "Can I marry your daughter?" My mom said, "NO". He was disheartened and said, "Is it because my skin is black?" My mom understood she shouldn't be so direct. She replied, "No no, we are also black. My daughter is too little to think about marriage". Just to inform you, my age was 4+

Later my mom understood, this is a common fun dialogue for everybody. Doesn't matter what is your or the other person's age, whether the man is married or not. Whenever they see a girl, will propose. It happened with my 1-year-old sister too. We started taking offers nicely.

This is cultural differentiation. When you don't know enough about the culture, just looking at it once you might get the totally wrong impression.

Social media accounts

 One day my boss asked me to join and contribute to some social media sites to understand how they work, what is people's expectation etc. He gave me some website addresses too to join, including some dating or marriage media, photographers sites etc. I have created a lot of accounts with pictures and personal info to complete my task.

When my work is done, I have stopped visiting those accounts. But with some accounts, I have made some online chat friends where I did chat a lot. So, I continued with those accounts. After some time, I found things were not going well, so I have stopped visiting those accounts too. Also, I unsubscribed from email notifications.

Now I have forgotten on which websites I had created my account or not. I even don't remember the user id or password. Some of my old emails are not accessible now. So, I can't delete those accounts.

If you get any messages or email or friend requests from any site other than my main email address or FB account. Please don't trust them. I agree, I should have deleted all those accounts.