Wanting someone and loving someone aren't the same. When you want someone, you want them for yourself. You want to be physically and mentally benefited, to have kids with them, to have a good life because you expect they will help or provide that to you, etc. You don't consider what they might want, what their likes are, what their expectations are, or what will make them happy.
Let me give you an example. You may like or want chicken to eat. You will feed them properly and keep them in a good place so that one day you will eat them. You don't make a house for them to give them comfort or happiness, and you don't let them live the way they want to live, open and free to go anywhere they want. You may protect them from outside danger, but not for their sake; you do so for your own benefit.
Now think about what you think of your partner. Do you want them or do you love them? Be honest!
I have heard from all parents. They love their children equally. And I have seen that they all have their own favourite child. In most cases, parents love their older kid more than others, and in some cases, the youngest one.
My parents have their own way of favouritism. They loved their older daughter the most. Whatever she asked for, they always tried to bring it to her. She is very gentle and good in her education, which made our parents love her more.
In my childhood, because of my happy mood and smile, I caught my parents' attention. Later, I proved I was not gentle like the older one and not good at education like her. So, my parent had no hope for me; I couldn't become their favourite. But for all the work and sacrifices they asked me to do. For example, if my parents needed to go out, sometimes for other children, they asked me to cancel my school and stay home. Sometimes, I had to go out with my mom to help her. I did. Then I noticed no one else was doing this kind of thing; it only came to me.
If my younger sister woke up late and the regular breakfast had finished, my mom made her special food for breakfast. I thought maybe because I always came to the table on time, I never got it. One day, I intentionally woke up late. But no, I didn't get the special treat. I never had that.
On the weekend, we all used to sleep longer. But sometimes, my mom woke me up to go to the nearby grocery store to buy something. None of my other siblings had to do this.
My younger sisters like a special part of the chicken. If they don't get it, they start screaming. I wanted those parts, too. If I somehow took one, my mom used to take it from my plate and give it to them.
One day, my mom was making paratha and put it on the plate. I sit on the chair to have my breakfast. My mom came running to me and took the plate away from there. And put it on my older sister's spot. She ate that later. My mom gave me paratha from leftovers of the previous day's breakfast; she warmed it up for me. I didn't say anything. But on that day, I cried in my room. Then I thought, It always happens to me, so why would I cry that day?
In my childhood, I thought about it many times. Why do they not like me? Not only them, but I found that people around me don't like me. They make distances with me, don't want to go out with me or see me in their happy moments. I always keep thinking, why? Maybe I did something that they couldn't tolerate, just being jealous, feeling insecure, or anything else. Each time, I try to fix myself, but it never works.
I always tried to listen to my parents and help them as much as possible. I have always done it, and I am trying to do it now, too. My dad started liking me when he was old. He knew I was trying to help him without any expectation; it's just me. I couldn't do much for my mom because I was far away from her. She hoped I would do more for her. I couldn't, but I will whenever I can.
Now I think I am the best. If you don't like me, it's your issue; you can live with that. I recommend staying away from me if you don't feel good with me. I will live as I am. Love me or leave me.
When I was in grade 8 (Class 8), I was the second tallest girl in the class. From grade 7 I suddenly started becoming tall. In grade 8 the tallest girl was Tanna. She is a very beautiful, tall and smart girl. I wasn't jealous, I just wanted to be taller than her. I don't know why I wanted to be taller than her, generally, I never worried about my physical appearance.
In my mind, I was praying to Allah to make me from 5 feet to 3 inches to 5 feet 3.5 inches. Maybe I did some exercise too. Our friend Aleya Ferdousi showed us (To her friends) how to exercise to become taller. I watched her carefully and then tried at home. And it worked.
Within a couple of months, I became 5'3.5". Oh, I was so happy. Now I am the tallest girl in the class. I stopped that exercise. I didn't want to be too tall. I knew, then I won't find ready-made dresses easily.
Later, I was aged 25, I checked and found that I became 5'5". I again prayed to Allah. Please don't make me too tall ;)
In kindergarten, I saw my son become the second-highest tallest boy in the class. I asked him, do you want to be the tallest. He told me that he doesn't care. Within a year he became the tallest. I again asked him, how do you feel about that. He smiled, I understood deep inside he was feeling the same. Just like his mother.
After moving to Canada I found he has an average height in the class in grade 1. I was happy. Then in grade 6, he became the tallest boy in the class.
Now we moved to Ontario. He is one of the tall boys in the class. I told him, don't become too tall. Then I have to order your dresses and shoes, which I don't want.
I have seen arrogant people, dictator-type persons or people who things they are the best, like me. I have always thought about it. Why do they like me? I am not like them. I don't like their dictatorship attitude. Then why? Then suddenly one day I become their number one enemy. They put full force to destroy me. This circle happened a couple of times with me.
A few days ago one of my colleagues said to another person, in front of me that I don't have any voice, that's why people like me. I didn't like his opinion or didn't agree with him. But also didn't say anything to him. I was thinking, maybe this is the reason. This is why this kind of thing happening to me.
As I don't complain, don't take revenge, people think I don't have any voice. They like me. Well, I am not a harmful person and I don't like to hurt people. That doesn't mean, I can't. So, for any reason, if I spoke up or take any action, the dictator become surprised. They understood, they misunderstood me and then do their best (Or I can say they keep trying) to ruin me.
This happened so many times in my career. How many hits can I take? Maybe they fail at the beginning but in the end, they won.
No matter what they did with me, I never hurt them, moreover sometimes helped them in their bad situation. That surprises them too. And sometimes they keep searching for the motive of my action. Oh, I can't stop them.
I like restaurant food. I would have ordered more restaurant food if I knew that all the restaurants are maintaining all healthy procedures to make and serve foods,
I like to taste different kinds of food. I have some favourite options too. I like the taste of restaurant food. But the main reason for liking restaurant food is
1. someone else is going to make food for me,
2. someone else is responsible to serve the food
3. and mostly someone else is responsible for cleaning.
Yes, I like restaurant food. Mostly because of these three reasons. I know some women too, whose husbands said, they like homemade food but they don't know why their wives like restaurant food. Sir, now you know the reason.
There is a very fine layer in between love and like. The
easy to figure it out is to monitor how feeling growing with time.
If you want anything more and more. Then it’s love. It never
dies. If, after having some you are feeling full, don’t want it more, then it was
your liking.
Let me give you some examples. A kid wants a toy very much. They
are asking the toy for months. They are so desperate to have it. After having
it, within 3 days, they don’t feel any interest in it. It’s liking.
Some kids like their soft toys very much. They hold it every
night before going to sleep. It continues, this is love.
In a relationship, I have seen this in many couples. At the beginning
they are so happy to have each other, then they lost all interest with each
other. Maybe they liked each other very much, but they didn’t love their
partner. So, it ended in a very short time.
For some, without making much effort the feeling continues.
Yes, it’s love. They might face many ups and downs in life, but the feeling
continues.
For me, loving someone and liking someone have huge difference. I can like anything or anyone. But love means something big for me. When you love someone, you can do or go anywhere to achieve or just to stay with them or sometimes just to make them happy. Liking won't let you go that far.
I am married, and I have a son. Still I am talking about it, because I felt many people misunderstands me. I like many people as a friend, as a human, as a teacher, as a colleague or just passerby. I am good with everyone. I help everyone as much as possible. But sometimes, this attitude create misunderstanding. People started believing that I love them. I don't know what to do with it.
When I was in the university, one of my friend told me, I should have feel proud and enjoy these situations. Let them think like that. I am not losing anything.
Well I tried, but I never felt good about it. Be my friend, I need you. Just don't take anything too far, that I can't reach it.
I don't like anger. Whenever I found any person who has short tempered personality, I try to maintain a good distance with them, to not to see their anger. As I don't like to see other's anger, don't like to show my anger too. No matter how much I get angry, I don't let other's to see it. In this case, I became a good actress :) Well, some people things I may not have any anger as I don't react. Which is not true.
Now a day I am thinking maybe my inside container where I fill all of my anger is going to overload. I am trying to make myself calm. Maybe I will succeed again, or burst out for the first time (I hope not).
বৃষ্টি আমি পছন্দ করি, তাই বৃষ্টি পড়লে বাইরে বের হওয়া যাবেনা বা কাজ আটকে থাকবে এমন কখনও ভাবিনি। এখন তাও ভাবতে হচ্ছে। কারন বৃষ্টিতে রাস্তায় পানি জমে যাচ্ছে, কোনো মতে ঘরের দরজা থেকে রিক্সায় উঠেও যদি কাজ চালানো যেত তাহলেও হতো, কিন্তু কখনো কখনো পানি ঘরের ভিতরে ঢুকে যাচ্ছে। তাও যদি কোনো মতে বের হই তো রাস্তায় জ্যামে আটকে থাকতে হবে, আর কাজ শেষে কোনো কিছু পাওয়া যাবেনা ঘরের ফিরার জন্য। ঘন্টার পর ঘন্টা এক জায়গায় দাড়িয়ে চেষ্টা করে নিজে পানিতে নেমে যাবেন, সাতার কাটতে কাটতে এগুতে থাকবেন আরো ঘন্টা খানেক। কপাল ভাল থাকলে এরপর কেউ কয়েকগুন বেশি ভাড়ায় বড় রাস্তা পর্যন্ত এগিয়ে হয়তো রাজি হয়ে যাবে। এমন বৃষ্টির দিনে কোনো কাজ শেষ হবে না। আর এদিকে সময়ের অভাবে আপনি ঘরে বসে থাকতেও পারবেন না। অফিস সময় শেষ হওয়া পর্যন্ত চেষ্টা চালিয়ে যাবেন। এরপর পরের দিন আবার বের হবেন।
I like rain, so I never complained about it, that it's raining I can't go out etc. But now things really get changed. Because of rain, all roads are getting drowned. If I could manage by taking rickshaw from the gate I could manage things somehow, but water comes inside our home too. If anyhow, you go out then will fall in trouble after finishing your work. You have to wait for hours to find anything to return home. Then you will start walking on the water (Mixed with all drain water) for hours, if you have some luck you will then find something with double cost which may take to the main road. More problems rise because of traffic jam you may not able to complete your work, you have to try till office hour finishes then again next day you have to start again.
I don’t press “Like” in “Facebook”
whatever I like (not always). If I do that my friends will be annoyed, because
all those posts will be on their news feed too and off course they will be
annoyed. Generally I try to write comment on posts, in that way people will know, I liked their post and also will know what exactly I felt.
But I can’t stop myself when I see any
picture on the sun and the moon. Don’t know what is with these two spheres. They
just touch my heart. I always press “Like” whenever I see the picture with the sun
and the moon, except those people’s post who doesn't want to see my activity.
After watching the animation film “Rio” I became fan of the
bird. Last month we went to the zoo I stand beside the macaw parrot for some
moment. They are really big in size and beautiful. They way they sit, look around
seems very intelligent. I showed my son and he likes them too. But you know I
can’t think to touch them, I don’t know why, I still afraid of bird. If any how
they show anger (in voice or by moving their body) or attack on me, I will run
with my life J
Tameem and Shafeen at mom's (my elder sister's) room
A bedside small carpet can makes your room elegant. If you
have enough space to put a small bed side carpet then will recommend it. Kids also
like it. This became their playmate.
In the carpet market or any shopping place where carpets are
available, you will find bed side small carpet too. You can match it with your
bed and curtain color and design. In Bangladesh these are available in Baitul Mokarram Masjeed market, New market, Elephant road etc.
In the picture Tameem (my elder sister’s son) and Shafeen
(my son) is playing on it. Shafeen was 3 years old in that picture.
Shafeen is playing and running with empty chairs in a “Gaye
Holud” ceremony.
My son’s age is now 4 years. He likes to spend his time by
running and jumping and playing. Wherever he goes, if he is in good mood
(mostly he is) he runs and runs all over the area. But people around him are
not like that. They don’t like it. They called my son naughty. They scold him
to sit down in peace.
I don’t like it. Is he grown enough that he has to sit and
wait and take rest like aged man? He is running without harming anyone or
anything. Then what is your problem. People just can see a kid running in open
place or home? Why? He is not doing anything wrong, that we have to punish him.
Why people can’t tolerate a kid who likes to spend his time by running and
running?
