Biography 88: One big plate

 If you go to any market in Saudi Arabia, you will see they are selling big size plates. Those are not just serving plates. People eat on those plates.

Whenever we visited anybody's home, they serve us food with fragrant rice and meat. In South Asia, we called in Biriyani. But Saudi people made it in a little different way. They put lots of tomatoes in it and all cooks mainly with Garam masala. That rice is called Kapcha. Maybe because of Garam masala, the fragrance of the food is amazing and the taste is very delicious.

First, They put the plate on the carpet, then they will put rice on that big plate and at the top, they will put the meat. It could be chicken or Dumba (A kind of lamb). Salads will be added. Then all the people will sit around that plate. Some plates are too big that 30/40 people can eat at a time.

As far as I understand, it is the joy of eating together. In Saudi, there is no rule that men will eat first, then women. Like we see in South Asia. Over there men and women will eat at the same time in different rooms. The host will join too. All take food together. The host always keeps an eye on the guests, who are liking which item (All items are mainly mixed with the rice).  Then the host will give more of that item to that guest before they ask for it. After taking food all guests helps the host to clean up everything. Then they sit together and enjoy the time, mostly by talking with each other.

Little different culture than the Bangladeshi or Canadian. But nice and warm. This tradition is not only for the guests. The family members also eat like this. 

They are also aware of other cultures. Sometimes they offer us small plates, as we were kids and not eating much. The host noticed and guessed maybe we were not used to eating on the big plate.

Biography 73: Agraap sting my dad

 Saudi is like a country of desert. Though we lived in cities, the desert was around us. There was a very common insect living with us, the scorpion. In Saudi, they called it Agraap. It stings with poison. If it stings a kid, the kid might die. I heard from my mom, that many of the kids dies in Saudi from the stings of this scorpion.

My older sister said when Shekha (Our youngest sister) was born my mom uses to clean the bed frequently. And many times she found Agraap in bed. But by the grace of Allah, it never bites Shekha.

One night I was falling asleep. My mom was on her night duty. My dad was praying for Esha before he was planning to go to bed. Suddenly I heard my dad is calling me. I woke up and saw, he hit something with his sandal. He was in pain. He asked me to go to my mom and tell her that he had got bitten by an Agraap.

In a second I start running on the road, my mom's clinic was at the end of the block. It was night so no traffic was there. It was a very dark night. I knew I have to bring help as soon as possible before the poison capture my dad totally. I reached the clinic and found my mom was busy with some patients. She told me later that she saw me it looks like I don't have any blood on my face. My lips became very dry. I informed dad's condition in one line. Mom stayed calm, she let her patient finished. Then inform others. They get ready within a second. Because of deadly poison, every moment was important. They came to our house with all equipment. I saw my dad lying on the floor. But dad was awaking. He told them he had killed that Agraap but now can't tolerate the pain. Doctors give my dad injections. I think it was Teena's(My friend) dad.

My dad became normal soon.

Biography 67: Medicine

 When I was living in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia), we had rooms with the clinic. One day I went inside the clinic after hours. I was looking around to do something. There was a room in the clinic where they had different kinds of medicines. They were in different colours. On the desk, they always keep some packets open with colourful medicines. Whenever any patients came here with a doctor's prescription they use to provide medicines, sometimes from those boxes too. All medicines were free for them.

 I took a small bottle of water (Easily could get it in the clinic) then put a few drops of the water on each box. I didn't think about what will happen, I just wanted to do something. You know, I'm a very active person.

The next day, my mom came running to me, "What did you do with the medicine? You have ruined all!". She left. I was thinking what did I do? Because I couldn't recall anything at that moment. Later I realize, oh that thing!

My mom said Saudi people like to take medicines. The medicines were free. If any doctor doesn't give them any medicine that made them very angry. When a pharmacist gave them medicines, they ask for more. Especially some colourful ones. That's why they kept those colourful medicines like that. Those are probably vitamins. So, anybody can take it.

Biography 57: Visiting Mecca and Madinah

Once in a year, before visiting Bangladesh, my parents used to visit Mecca and Madinah. We had to make a long drive from Umlez (Saudi Arabia). And I always utilized the time by lying down and sleeping in the back seat.

I didn't know those are two cities. I knew when I visit big Masjeeds and sometimes in the middle I found the Kaba and sometimes not (In Madinah). Those masjeeds were lightened up so nicely that I could never realize whether it is day or night.

The masjeeds were always very clean. I have seen the cleaning team continuously cleaning the masjeeds. The floor is fully covered with carpets. People can stand anywhere and say prayers. At the bottom of every pillar or after some space, there were water containers. After some periods, the authority puts frozen Zamzam water in it. So that people can drink chilled Zamzam water anytime.

I was a kid when I had visited the Masjeeds, I felt like its a huge space. We just had to walk and walk and it never ends.

In the Masjeed, where I didn't see the Kaba, I have seen a Green Dome (Gambuj). When my parents use to pray, I looked at it and said "Durood Shareef". My mom taught once, I always did to show honour and respect to the Messenger of Allah.

I liked the Hotels in Mecca and Madinah. Whenever we went out and returned after a while we found the room service cleaned and put everything properly. The decoration is very modern and has high qualities. Through the windows, we could view the cities and hills.

I liked the street food very much in these cities. Mostly the bread, which is cut down in the middle and they put chicken and tomatoes inside it.

I wish someday I will go with my son and show him everything. I want him to enjoy the place the way I did.

Biography 44: My babysitting life

My mom couldn't find a way, how she is going to raise 4 daughters and kept her job. Shekha was an infant, Sonia was a toddler, I was just 6 years old girl and my older sister was 9. On those days, there were no daycare or English medium schools available in our area.

So, our parents decided, they will send my older sister and Sonia to Bangladesh. So, Sonia and Boropa started living in Faridpur, my maternal grand parent's house. Boropa admitted to a Faridpur school. I and Shekha started living in Saudi Arabia. Shekha had to stay with mom because she just gets born. I was there because my mom needed a babysitter so that she can continue her job. Somehow my parents also understood, that I'm not good in study. My older sister was the best.

My new life started in Saudi Arabia. Very early in the morning my mom uses to prepare Shekha and put her in the baby stroller. Then Shekha stayed with me, the whole day. At noon in the lunch break, mom used to come back home and feed Shekha, then again went to her clinic. The clinic was in the same block. Sometimes, if she needed to change, I used to take her to the clinic. Shekha learned to live with me most of the time, she was the youngest, so as usual, she became my parent's favourite. Later she understood she didn't need to listen to what my parents ask her. But she always listened to me.

Other than holding Shekha, I use to wipe the floor, clean rice or lentil, wash baby clothes etc. When Shekha learned how to walk, she wanted to go to the roof. But in Saudi, the weather is always very hot. So, whenever she put her foot on the roof she felt her foot is burning and she started screaming as loudly as possible. We had to run and rescue her. The next day again she did the same. My parents had to put a permanent wooden barrier to stop her. After a couple of days, she learned how to go out under the barrier.

Shekha liked to play with water too. Especially in the bathroom, with the bucket of water. No matter how many times our parents asked her to come out, she never listened. But If I said, "Dara, Ashtaasi (Wait, I'm coming to get you)" she ran out from the bathroom, like a bullet. Because if I said, I will come, I will. 

I used to go to our front door neighbour's house to play with their girl Tina. And Shekha stayed with me. She didn't disturb us, stayed quietly in her stroller. Tina liked Shekha. She wanted to marry her younger brother with Shekha as Shekha looked very beautiful.

Biography 40: New home in Umluz (Saudi Arabia)

 My dad and mom planned to settle in one place. People from Alkaseem, liked mom a lot. They wanted to bring my dad to that place. But my dad decided to live in town, not in the village. So, we moved to Umluz (Local people called it Umlez).

Umluz was a small city in Saudi Arabia (I heard now it became a big tourist city). The red sea is just beside the city. The water is crystal clear. The colour is blue. Later I have seen in the BCS guide book that The red sea's watercolour is red. No, I have seen it blue. Weather is better than Alkaseem. Has beautiful housing and a road system. 

My dad at the beginning used to live with other men in one house by sharing the rent. As he planned to bring us there, others moved away. When we went there we found an old one-storey building. Doors and windows are made of wood and the colour was green. In the middle of all rooms, there was an open space. A very small one. On one side of that space, there was some area that wasn't covered with concrete. Somebody planted red leaf vegetables (Laal shaak, in Bangla).

It was an old building, some part of it was broken. One day some part of the door or window comes out and it was placed in that open space. I use to walk or run around so I put my foot on it. I didn't know a big screw was there. That screw totally went inside my feet. My mom took it out, lots of blood comes out and she put a bandage on it. Still, I have a small black circle under my feet.

We didn't have any furniture over there. So, my mom decorated a window as a dressing table. She put a mirror and all her staff over there. This became my older sister Sharmin's favourite place. She uses to comb her hair many times in front of the mirror. Maybe that's why later she had the longest and thick black hair among all sisters. Her hair was about to touch her knees.

Biography 39: travel experience on highways in Saudi Arabia

 Saudi Arabia mainly a desert area. You will see only sands everywhere with some hills and mountains. I have seen the Himalayan and Mountains in Canada. But Saudi Mountains are totally different. You will see only rocks, big hard rocks. Their colours are different. No sign of mud or soil or plants. All hills are build of solid rocks.

One day I was travelling with my mom and other local people. It was a pickup truck. As usual, we were travelling through a desert. I became thirsty. The driver stopped the car and went outside. Then from the back open area, he brought a bag of water. It is called by local people "mesok" (As far as I remember).  It was outside in the sun. But when I drink water from it, I could the water was cold. Then the driver put it inside the car. Later when I asked for water again, he gave it from the same bag. But this time the water became warm. I didn't like that at all. I wanted to ask him to put the bag outside again. but couldn't get the courage. Later mom said mesok water became cold by the air. 

Whenever my dad drove us to another city we had to drive through the desert for hours. Saudi Arabia is a big country. The tradition was, my mom always sits at the front with my little sister Shekha. I had the total space in the back seat. So, I always slept in the back seat during the journey. I was only 5/6 years old girl. So, I could easily fit on it.

In one journey to Madina (Probably) two Bangladeshi men also joined us. Maybe my dad was giving them a ride. On that day, I didn't have space to sleep. So I went back to the storage space and lay on our suitcase. Then I slept on the suitcase.

Biography 32: Black people

 Before I start talking, I must inform you that I'm writing about my very childhood stories. I don't know, what is the current situation now.

One day my mom had to go far away for her work. Her office gave her a car with a driver to pick and drop. As she may stay the whole day she took her kids with her. So, I got a chance to visit that place. I could remember that we drove with the main driveway for a long time. then on the left side of the road, we turn to a rough road. Then came to a village. I moment I reach there I could feel that the village is different. Hear houses are made of clay. Roofs are made of date dry leaves. Everywhere I could feel a calm environment. People were living there happily, but they are poor. And all of them are black. This was totally new for me.

Later my mom told me (I don't weather that is true or she just assumed), These people were caught and bring as a slave. Now there is no slavery, but still, elite people don't want to mix with them. So, their village is outside of the main village and separated.

I didn't have any idea how black or white people treated in this world. But I liked their separated village. If they can live peacefully separately, then why not. Who wants trouble in their life?

Biography 31: Dances

 It's true I liked to dance to music since my childhood. But I have started learning academic dancing when I was in grade 2. So, I had no idea how should I dance when I was in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia). Our neighbours get to know that we were moving so many of them came to visit us. One day a woman came with her daughter. The daughter was a teen.

My mom and that woman were discussing both cultures. I guess. Then my mom turned on Bangla music in a cassette player and asked us to dance. We, I and my older sister started dancing, though that wasn't any dance actually. My mom was giving instructions like take your hands up, bent etc.

I am sure the woman wasn't impressed, though she didn't say anything. My mom always felt happy with our dance or any other activity. Then the woman asked her daughter to dance. Her daughter tightened her part of cloth around her hip and the woman started singing and giving beats by slapping on the table. The girl danced. Mostly she moved her hip. I felt she had a very nice rhythm but I didn't know anything about this kind of dance. I liked it, but my mom didn't. Different cultures different choices.

Now I know, she did belly dance.

Biography 30: The carpet

 I don't remember how long I have lived in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia). It felt like years. But maybe for less than a year. Because then we moved to Umlez.

The people of that village (Later Alkaseem became a big city, we heard) liked my mom very much (Mom said). When they get to know that we are going to another city, people meet with us, give gifts etc. I remember that the Ameer of that area (Mayor) invited us to his place. We went there and I was amazed at his room's carpet. I have never seen it before or ever after. 

The whole room was covered with a very soft carpet. It looks like white grass. In about half feet distance there were woollen flowers (Like Bangladeshi Kodom) rise up. All are women but the flowers were standing with a stronger wool stick. When I put my feet on it bend down to the floor. All a felt is soft comfortable wools. From that moment I really wish to have that carpet for myself. Never found in the market.

Biography 28: Boys will be boys

 

We have got an invitation to join a marriage ceremony in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia). My mother and 3 sisters went there. My mom later told me, she had seen, all expenses had taken care of by the groom. They send all foods and even the mat to sit the invited guests including the bride's expenses. That's why before marriage the groom has to save a lot of money. This situation makes a man a little older in Saudi Arabia get married. That's why some boys go to Egypt to get married because Egyptian girls don't have that much demand or to get married at a low cost.

I wasn't that older to understand these things. I remember a part of that party. It was a night party. In the wedding house, there were two yards for men and women. We took a seat at the girl's yard. There were no boys inside that yard. It was surrounded by a 1 or 2 storied building. In the middle, there was an open space. The girls who had long black hair stood up and let their hair open. These girls were very looking very beautiful. Then they start dancing. That's their traditional dance. In my eyes, they were taking their hair from one side to another. That's it. My mom has long hair too. Mom said, they let her hair open and ask her to join the dance. She felt shy, couldn't join them.

Then something happened. I saw girls fall down, actually, they hide behind all other girls. Some older woman stood up and told to let go of those boys first, who are sitted at the top of the buildings to watch the dance (Girls). I believe there were 13-17 old boys. When older woman shouted and some may go upstairs to bring them down. They went away. They were laughing.

Biography 26: My first home in Saudi Arabia

In Saudi Arabia, I have started living in a small village "Alkaseem". I heard, later it became a good big city. I, my older sister and my newborn younger sister started living with our mom in a local clinic. My mom was a family planning trainer, she has to work as a senior nurse. It was a government job. My dad has to work in another city. First, he worked in "Tabuk". Later moved to "Umlej". He was an engineer in the Telephone Department. This was also a government job. I heard from him, that Tabuk's weather was very extreme.

My mom got her living arrangement from the government in the clinic. It was an extended part of the clinic's building, separated by a wall. It was a one-storey building with two (As separated by a wall) big ground. The whole ground was covered by small stones. It is in the desert, so I guess, stones were to prevent dust. The washroom was at the end of the field. The main door was at the clinic's section. A big iron door. Just beside the door, inside our boundary wall, there was a big sand mountain. It was very high that we (I and my sister) use to afraid to climb it up. Later as we tried so many times, the sands fell on the ground and made it easier to climb it up. My sister was the hero in this activity. See, when she does anything, nobody noticed. But when I do anything like that, Oh what a girl.

Our furniture was from the clinic's furniture. Iron bed and chair. the floor was made of concrete. As we were living in the desert, the floor always felt covered with sands. In winter, mom uses to covered the ventilators with plastic. Maybe windows too (I don't remember). But I remember the weather was very dry over there, I felt my skin became toasted.

Biography 21: A common question to make fun

 I don't remember when I went to Saudi Arabia. My mom uses to do a government job in Saudi, so she had got a visa to take us (I and my older sister) to her. A black man was working in the airport. He helped us with our luggage. In the end, he pointed to me and ask my mom, "Can I marry your daughter?" My mom said, "NO". He was disheartened and said, "Is it because my skin is black?" My mom understood she shouldn't be so direct. She replied, "No no, we are also black. My daughter is too little to think about marriage". Just to inform you, my age was 4+

Later my mom understood, this is a common fun dialogue for everybody. Doesn't matter what is your or the other person's age, whether the man is married or not. Whenever they see a girl, will propose. It happened with my 1-year-old sister too. We started taking offers nicely.

This is cultural differentiation. When you don't know enough about the culture, just looking at it once you might get the totally wrong impression.