You don't need to torture those who are seeking help.

 In most cases, when someone asks for help or comes to you seeking assistance, that person has nothing left or no one else to turn to. They are already ashamed of their failures in life and feeling low.

In that time, if you take pictures or videos, or record life moments and display them to the world to show how bad the situation they are dealing with is, that's not fair.

If you want to promote your activities, take pictures of yourself, your products, and the team you're working with. You can also take pictures of the area. However, never take pictures of people who come to you seeking help; they are already feeling vulnerable, and you shouldn't make it worse.

In some areas, the organization makes people stand in lines outdoors in public places. This is another form of torture. Nobody needs to know who is seeking help.

Like Muslims believe, your left hand shouldn't know what the right hand has donated. Be a human!

Don't impose your decisions on others.

 I like freedom. That's why I try to give others around me the freedom to be themselves. They can bring friends or anyone home at any time. They can share their opinion or suggestions with me on any topic or situation. I always try to accept others' thoughts as much as possible.

Sometimes, that leads to some misunderstandings. They think they can make me do anything. No. If I said no, that means I can't accept, so please back off.

People can suggest ideas to me, and I will consider them. But the final decision will be mine. My life, my decision. Your life, your decision. 

Like Facebook, it's your decision what you publish, how you respond to others' comments, and so on. However, you can't control others' posts or their reactions. Whether you like it or not, you don't have to force your choice on others.

Biography 231: Chat

 When the first internet and chatting system was introduced, very few people started using it. These people were mostly software engineers, web developers, designers, or highly educated and responsible persons. In those days, we could chat and meet new people very easily. We shared our positions, discussed official problems, gave solutions to others, helped others get jobs, etc.

Some of those unknown chat people later did business with me, I visited some homes in Eid, and some helped me get a job or submit a resume. It was totally different this time.

Yes, I am that old.

Trying to change

 You have no idea how stupid I am. When people get to know about that, they become speechless. How ridiculous a person can be.

Businessmen try to make money from their consumers as much as they can. In my case, sometimes they say you have given enough. Go somewhere else that will take less from you. Even I am not feeling good about this. This didn't happen once; it happened several times in different countries.

I always try to help people. Because I know how difficult it is to handle everything all by yourself. How it feels when there is no help for you.

One day, someone told me, don't help if they don't ask for it. I knew he was right. I try to follow. But then again, I compare it with myself. I don't ask for help. Though I always needed.

The most stupid thing I do is when I help some people who don't want that help. Even they refused to take my help. But I knew they actually needed that help. So, by force, I help them. They kick me out of themselves. Though they get benefited because of my help. I knew they needed that help.

I am trying hard to change myself. Mainly to stop this force help. Only keep this going with my son. And again, he doesn't want me to help or care for him.

:)

It's important to let go of individuals who don't wish to be in your life. Doing so will create room for those who truly value your presence.

Some people are mad at you

PC: Shafeen

“Some people are mad at you because they made the mistake of underestimating you. They threw you under the bus, and you survived.”

This happened so many times. I don't complain about others' activities, and they think I don't know how to speak; I don't understand what they did? Sometimes just get surprised. What is going on? How do I stay normal after what they did with me?

That is me. I don't feel good about taking revenge. I used to help them if I could, stay with them, and tolerate their behaviour. 

Now a day, I am tired. So, I am just avoiding all dramas.

Product cost

 Which factors determine the product pricing? Production cost, marketing cost, living cost, labour cost, targeting people's ability to buy, availability of the product, competition, people's knowledge about the probable cost etc.

In Canada, I think only one factor works to determine the cost. It's the first world, so we have lots of rich or good earning people. So, prices of the products are as high as possible. Business men's target is that good amount of rich people. The product they collect from China by $1 and sell in Canada $300 to $700. You can't amazing how much profit they are making. So, these businessmen are becoming rich to richer. What about the low-earning people? Who cares, the government will give them little money with which they can buy some bread, they will eat one time in a day and expend rest of the day with water.

All costs of living can be brought at the range of the most people. That will bring better living style, better environment and will create better next generation.

I don't know, why the system is going on like that. is it because the system is run by rich people like this?

Nice words

As far as I have seen, general people all over the world are nice. When people say small nice words, that made your day. Sometimes you know that those are not 100% true, just said to make you feel better. But still, it works.

I was looking for a t-shirt. The ail where I was standing was for XL size body. An elderly woman came and told me, “I think you are looking for your dress in wrong ail, you should go to medium size ail.” No doubt, she had made my day.

I was traveling on the bus. A guy came to me and said, “You must be going to the college for study, young lady”. Yes, that made me feel good too.

A guy told me, “Oh you are from Bangladesh, I have met other Bangladeshi girls too, you all are very beautiful”, I knew very well, he said that just to make me feel good. And it worked.

So, I believe whenever you talk, use nice words. You never how your simple effort can bring smile to other’s face.

What people just say but never mean it

Shafeen's art

Sometimes people say things that they don’t mean. Everybody understands that they said it just to say something, or like greetings, or to just make the environment easy and to feel good.

But I’m too stupid. I always believe all words that other say to me. Several times I put myself in awkward position because of this attitude. Generally, whatever I say, I mean it. So, when others say, by default I take them as man or word. Or in my mind I want to believe them. So, unconsciously I trust all and their words.

Let me give you some real example of words, you can easily identify that these are all just what people say...

1. Please visit our house.
2. Take meal with us.
3. Please stay longer with us.
4. I will return your money.
5. You will be getting paid, whenever I will have some money
6. I will send your money to your home.
7. I love you.
8. I trust you.
9. I will never let you down.
10. I will increase your working hours.
11. You are too good.
12. I am your friend.
13. I will promote you.

There are more. Anyway, all of them was for me. And in time they all proved wrong. It’s not other’s fault. It’s my fault that I trust people so easily and then get hurt. Good point is I am becoming use to of it. So, whenever I found anyone, who isn’t keeping their words. I say to myself, oh, its natural human nature. Nothing to bother about it.

To those people who were always there to help me

Photo credit: Shafeen (my son)

You will see, in your life, there are few people who help you in various ways. No matter how much you want, actually, in return you can’t give anything, because they are staying in a position where they don’t need anything from you. Or you don’t afford to do anything for them.

The only thing you can is to be a well wisher. 

If you are gone, no one will be there for your kid

Many times you will see people who have wealth with a big heart. They help everybody as much as they can. Do you know what happens with their kids when they die? 

People who used to talk very politely will suddenly become harsh. People who used to feed them with a smile will suddenly stop feeding them. Nobody will like those kids or be willing to give them their time.

No matter how much you do for others, when you will die nobody will be there for your kid. 

The same thing happens with you, too, when you lose money and fall into trouble. Never expect people to remember your good work during your bad times or when you're financially strapped.

Be prepared, when you are gone, no one will be there for your kid, except Allah.

Many times we guesses wrong when assuming

When we meet someone online or offline, they create an impression inside us. Sometimes when we talk with other person online, many times we felt that this is the same person. They are talking in same way. And many times we finally found we were right. Sometimes we misunderstood. We may talk with that person or id by assuming that this is actually that person. After long time we get to know that we were wrong. Actually they are different person. These are very common scenario in online communication.

In real life sometimes we felt from inside we are communicating with someone. We are sharing our feelings. Sometimes we felt some other person is thinking about us. We guess that is the person. And sometimes we understood, we guessed wrong. Actually some other was holding us, instead of the person we guessed.

Really very difficult is this assuming part of our mind. It always shows the similarities and starts assuming. It always takes us to better thinking of a situation to calm down us and give better feeling. And many times it gives wrong info only to make us feel better.

I think no matter how hard the truth is, it should come in front us as soon as possible. We better live with truth than good dream.

A service can be given to the sick people

Still I didn't recovered 100%. But work must go on, went to son’s school. While returning home, did some daily shopping. When I reached home, I felt I don’t have any strength at all. Just fall on bed. I couldn't get up till 4 pm, still not feeling well. I wish there could be a service for sick people. Who will provide shopping if needed, serve cooked food when needed and clean the house for the sick people…. When you feel good just stop the service…. Ah it’s not heaven, no matter how bad you feel, you have to take all responsibility.

Making fool of others

There is a Bangle proverb, if I translate, it will be like this, “Even if the elephant fall and get stuck in mud, frogs kicks them (take the chance)”. It’s so true. I have seen whenever people get option to make fool of others to have any benefit, they take it. No humanity, no ideology, nothing works in their mind. They laugh, they enjoy, feels lucky and proud to themselves, that yes, they didn't missed or let go this chance to make fool or take benefit from others. And they felt they deserve it. Who can make them think that you are wrong? May be they will understand only then, when someone else do it with them the same thing in a same way.

Intelligent people should understand this.

I like intelligent people. I feel comfort talking with them. But they have some major problems too. They understand many things. They can predict many situations. So, they things, they knows all. Problem is, that’s not the truth. There are many things still on this earth about which you don’t have any idea. Or whatever you predict, things are more attractive than that. Just don’t be so sure about anything.