Biography 283: Perfectionist.

 

Asha apa (Cousin) brought some jute and sat at the uthan (the Open common area between rooms). She held one end of the jute with her toes and started making something with her hand. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "I am making ropes." I thought ropes could only be bought from the market. I didn't know someone could make them at home. 

Her skills surprised me, but that didn't continue for long. My grandfather noticed it from his window and told her, "That isn't how to make ropes. Bring it to me." She gave him the jute, and he started making rope. I don't find the difference, but I understand he is very expert at making ropes.

One day, my uncle said, "My father doesn't like anyone's work." Whoever tried to do anything in front of him said, "No, that's not the way. And then he did it by himself." My grandfather was a perfectionist.

I think I have that gene. So, to make things better, whenever anyone does something, no matter how much I want it, I don't say anything to improve it, no matter how bad they do the job. I always tell myself that I can't do it all; I have to let others do some, and everyone has different ways of doing the same job.

Need to make this world for Teens too.

 Computer games are made to get you addicted to them. No matter your age, once you start playing, you will be addicted to them. This game addiction isn't suitable for anyone. It may cause trouble to your eyes, brain, time, life, etc.

Teenagers don't have much to do. All playgrounds and entertainment systems are made for either kids or adults. Teenagers who are in the middle are missing in every event. Nothing is made for them; nothing is suitable for them.

So, obviously, the only entertainment left for them is computer games. Because of this game addiction, they are becoming more rude and misbehaved and don't want to learn anything but games.

We need to provide more work, entertainment, books, movies, etc. for teens. We need to engage them in our social work. Take them to the nature. Let them work with us to learn. This will help them learn about the real world and decide their future plans. We have to engage them with parents, kids, and the elderly. We need to create a world where they are also welcome. Let them use their creativity. We shouldn't box their mind and body with a screen. They are the future of the next generation.

This is called integrity

"Do the right thing even when no one is looking; this is called integrity."

I am always like this. That's why, when I was in the examination room, I never bothered whether the examiner checked the students; or the manager monitored us at the workplace. 

Why would I? I always follow the rules and regulations, work sincerely, try to upgrade myself etc. I never try to do unethical work in the examinations or work, never try to waste work time or do my own things. 

That's why I felt good knowing someone was watching us. At least someone will know I work well.

I will walk

 It's been a long that I am thinking to lay down on my bed and do nothing. Yes, I am doing it now. I am not in a position to have this luxury now. But I am having it. Rest... I don't know. I need to pick up my pieces again and hold them and start walking. This is my life, I have to live with it.

Headache

Shafeen has drawn this picture.

Headache is my old enemy, my biggest enemy. It makes me slowdown, non-productive and mostly gives me tremendous pain that I can’t tolerate. Sometimes it makes me puke. So, whenever I feel that my headache is going to increase, I take pain killer then try to sleep a bit etc. But life isn’t that easy, I have plenty of works to do, so now a day after taking pain killer, I keep working, but slowly. It helps to tolerate my pain while I am working. Why am I saying this today? Because I am writing this with my headache.

My priority

What will be my priority to do? I thought about it a lot. When I am at job, I give full focus in it. When I am at home, again, I try to give full focus on my home duties. But there are a lot left, like for our future goal, I must take initiative and be active and give focus on that. Most of all, I have a son. He is still too young to think by himself what should he do now. So, for his current and future life, I must make plan and must make sure, he is taking good food, having enough brain activity, learning all the necessary things that I want to him to be learned, taking bath, and brushing his teeth regularly etc. Truth is, I don’t have enough time for all as usual. Everyday, I had to make priority list in my mind and go with it, which means everyday there are a lot of work left, which push back to my to do list. Sometimes I feel really guilt about that. But again, which work should I do first? Which comes at my priority? I really feel good, when I can finish all the tasks, that I had to do for my son. Otherwise guilt feeling don’t let me stay well and my son faces troubles. Yes, my son is my priority.

Trust may go for ever

We know, it’s difficult to gain trust, but one mistake can easily destroy all.

People or organization can gain trust by big words, easily. But when we found anything wrong then that trust just goes away. Then it’s very difficult to gain again. Easy come easy go.

The trust which gained by actions, people remember that. When bad times come, many people may forget that but some will always respect you and few may always trust you.

সব সময় ঠিক বুঝতে পারিনা (didn't get the point)

সব সময় সবার সব কথা ঠিক বুঝতে পারিনা. আবার জিজ্ঞেস করলে কি ভাববে... এসব নানা কারনে আবার জানতেও চাওয়া হয়না. কারো কারো লেখা বেশ কঠিন মনে হয়. কি যেন বোঝাতে চাচ্ছে সেটা আর ঠিক বুঝতে পারিনা. সব সময় মাথার সব তার হয়ত ঠিক মতো কাজ করে না. হয়তো ১০০ দিকে ১০০ রকম মনোযোগ দিতে গিয়ে সব কিছুতেই খুব সামান্য সময় দিতে পারছি.

Sometimes, I can't understand every word of some people, but what they will think if I ask again... this kind of thinking prevent me to ask again. Sometimes I can't understand what they are trying to say in their writing. May be my brain's nerves doesn't work well always. May be I am thinking about 100 things at a time so couldn't concentrate on one thing properly. 

Take some leisure time too, to enjoy everything.

Shafeen relaxing at Cox's Bazaar

You can only feel the value of your leisure when you are deep in your work. At those moments you will like to take breath in fresh air, have some relax time, enjoy time without any tension. You will wish to continue your leisure time for the rest of your life

But if you continue like that you won’t enjoy anything. Things will be boring, you might look for something more exciting and nothing can satisfy you.

These go for food too. You can’t only live with rich food/junk food. Take traditional and healthy one regularly to enjoy other food which you might take occasionally.

So, concentrate on your work, do productive work, eat good food (not only tasty one), which will help you have a good life with a good health. And yes, take some leisure time too, to enjoy everything.

Where is the reward for good work?

I have seen in movies (never in real life) that when a person does well, they finally get the reward. I had read, “Good work is never wasted; somehow, it makes its marks.” But I don’t know why I couldn't find it in real life. I have seen many people who did many good things… but where is there a reward? Maybe they got it, but I couldn't realize it. Then what about my life? I never wished anything wrong for others. I always say good things about others (unless this hiding made a bad impact). I made a good impression on many people and organizations. What result did I get back from them? If they didn't give anything good, that would have been acceptable… but what about when they make a bad impression on me? This is the final result I get for my good work… Fine!

How to recognize people’s real face?

Me and my son's reflection on a pillar of a CNG station

In our life we always live on guesses. If we see, two things, our mind starts comparing those and come to a third situation, which is guessed. And we believe we are right. In some cases we get to know that we were wrong and in some cases we found we were right. This makes us more confident, that we might guess right always.

In my life generally I don’t believe people just because of their personality and words. I have seen most of times I guessed wrong if I believe what people are saying. I always check their works; you know works lies very less. But rare incidents happen. Some very smart people sometimes do good work to show them good, and at the end they show their real face, most of the time they keep hiding the real intention. But thanks Allah. These kinds of people are very less. If you meet this kind of people, they will ruin your life without any doubt and you won’t understand it unless you lose everything. I really don’t know how to be alert from these people.

But I don’t blame anyone but me. Why did I believe them? There was always a clue in front of me. Why didn’t I give attention on it? Why can’t I control my mind for affection? All is my fault.

He is super workaholic.

Shafeen

Shafeen

Shafeen

Now, I really don’t know when I have seen my son sitting in one place without any work. My busy son doesn’t spend a minute by staying one place. He is super workaholic. The only work can make him sit in the chair for hours are the computer. Here you can see the picture when he was three years old. He was just lying on the bed… very old form of him.

বর্তমান কাজটাই আসলে সবচেয়ে মুখ্য বিষয়।

মাঝে মাঝে দায়িত্ব, কর্তব্য, পরিকল্পনা এতো বেশি সামনে এসে যায় যে ঠিক করা মুশকিল হয়ে পড়ে, কিভাবে, কোন কাজটা করবো, সবই যে জরুরী। আমি যা করি তা হলো মনটাকে যতদুর পারি রিল্যাক্স করার চেষ্টা করি। এরপর একটা একটা করে যে কাজটা যখন সবচেয়ে জরুরি মনে হয়, সেটা করতে থাকি, পরবর্তিকে বাকিগুলো কিভাবে করবো সেটা না ভেবে। বর্তমান কাজটাই আসলে সবচেয়ে মুখ্য বিষয়। এটা যদি ঠিক ভাবে করি, তাহলে ভবিষ্যত কাজও সহজ হয়ে আসে। দেখা যায় রিল্যাক্স ভাবে ধীরে ধীরে করলে কাজ আরো বেশি করা ও শেষ হয়।