Biography 22: Ice

 Bangladesh is a hot and humid country. When I was a kid, the refrigerator wasn't available to all homes. In Kamlapur, before iftar, some people brought huge chank of ices by big Semi (In Bangladesh we called it truck). A couple of people hold one of them and bring it down on a jute mat (Chhala). I have seen the big ice cube were covered with brown powder. Someone told me those are wood powder to prevent the ice from melting quickly. People from our the neighbour go that particular point where ice cube had been brought and buy according to their need. Some guys were dedicated to cut or break it into small pieces with hammers and other tools and sold them. Most people bring those ice cubes in a jug, then at home, they put it in water to drink cool water in Iftar. We liked that very much. We felt like heaven.

Now I'm living in a wooden cottage and it is covered with snow. I'm walking on snow, living in the snow. How life gets changes.

Who makes others successful?

 When we see anything, we first judge by its look. That's very natural. Like we try to have an idea of how a book will be by its cover. Though we all know, this can't be a good judgement, but we still do. Our brain is like that. Before it sees or understands the whole thing, it started to have an idea with whatever information it got first or see first.

Another example can be a movie. In movies, it is not the actors who always work best or do the best. But when I see a movie in our mind we give all credits to them. They became the most famous in the movie. But they couldn't do the movie all by themselves. There are other people who are working behind and make or help to make the total movie success.

Now, let's come to the main point. We always see people who are successful in life. In most cases, they were not alone who make them successful. We all know about scientist Albert Einstein. He could concentrate on his work and work better after having his second wife. She wasn't a scholar. But she loves him enough to take good care of him and let him concentrate or work better. No one will say she was successful. But she helped a man to be more successful.

Most of the woman do whatever it needs to do to make other (Husband, kids, brother, lover and father etc) successful. It's very rare that you will find a woman who doesn't care about these people, but concentrate on her own success. After caring for all, it is very difficult to take some time for any person's own. But by using this limited-time there are some women who are successful. This situation is very rare for a man. If women didn't need to think about cooking, managing household work and problems, I'm sure they could do better. I am not saying they shouldn't have done this, if they don't look family like this, no one is going to do so, the family life will be scattered. 

Today I am saluting those women also, who may not look like to have a successful life, but they made others life successful. Happy International women's day.

Biography 21: A common question to make fun

 I don't remember when I went to Saudi Arabia. My mom uses to do a government job in Saudi, so she had got a visa to take us (I and my older sister) to her. A black man was working in the airport. He helped us with our luggage. In the end, he pointed to me and ask my mom, "Can I marry your daughter?" My mom said, "NO". He was disheartened and said, "Is it because my skin is black?" My mom understood she shouldn't be so direct. She replied, "No no, we are also black. My daughter is too little to think about marriage". Just to inform you, my age was 4+

Later my mom understood, this is a common fun dialogue for everybody. Doesn't matter what is your or the other person's age, whether the man is married or not. Whenever they see a girl, will propose. It happened with my 1-year-old sister too. We started taking offers nicely.

This is cultural differentiation. When you don't know enough about the culture, just looking at it once you might get the totally wrong impression.

Social media accounts

 One day my boss asked me to join and contribute to some social media sites to understand how they work, what is people's expectation etc. He gave me some website addresses too to join, including some dating or marriage media, photographers sites etc. I have created a lot of accounts with pictures and personal info to complete my task.

When my work is done, I have stopped visiting those accounts. But with some accounts, I have made some online chat friends where I did chat a lot. So, I continued with those accounts. After some time, I found things were not going well, so I have stopped visiting those accounts too. Also, I unsubscribed from email notifications.

Now I have forgotten on which websites I had created my account or not. I even don't remember the user id or password. Some of my old emails are not accessible now. So, I can't delete those accounts.

If you get any messages or email or friend requests from any site other than my main email address or FB account. Please don't trust them. I agree, I should have deleted all those accounts.

Biography 20: My younger sister born

 One day I noticed my older sister and other relatives were very excited about something. I didn't bother, even if I would bother, they won't tell me anyway. But this time, my sister came to me with some pictures. She told me this is your younger sister. I could see my mother is sitting on a chair (Very simple made of Iron. In those days people didn't use plastic chairs everywhere, they had these iron chairs for general use), wearing a red sharee (I like that sharee very much) and she was holding a baby looks like a potato. In another picture, the baby was in her bed, inside a mosquito net. Later my mom told us, the net was for flies. There were lots of flies over there. My mom also told us, in the desert area the weather is very dry. The baby's skin couldn't resist it, it was cracked and blood used to come out. So, my mom always kept her wet in Olive Oil. Among all siblings, this sister has a brighter skin colour. So, I always thought it was because of the olive oil. I wish my mom did that with me too :(

After having two girls, my dad really wanted a son this time. I heard from others that he told people, if he got a son this time, he will sacrifice a cow. Maybe Allah wanted to save a cow. So, not only this time but his next child (Child number 4) was also a daughter. Later, my 3rd sister became a doctor and 4th one became a dentist. Obviously, Allah wanted to give him more than what he wanted...

Check it out first

 I was newly admitted to the University. I didn't know anyone, didn't have any idea how people study here, how they prepare for the exam, how the exam will be taken etc. Someone told me, I should check the previous year's questions, to get an impression of how the exam will be.

As I told you I didn't know anyone to ask for it. I remember on my first I sat beside a boy. He told me, he is staying in the hall. I thought he might have or can collect some questions papers from the senior students of our department from the hall.

I asked him about it and he said, he had already collected it. I requested him, can he share those question papers with me. I will make a copy of those papers and then will return them to him. He nodded his head, which means yes.

After 3/4 days he gave a roll of papers in a plastic bag. I said, "Thank you, I will return it tomorrow." I didn't open it, just kept it in my bag as it was. I took it home. In the afternoon I gave it to my dad to xerox those papers. The photocopy machine shop was very near to our house.

After a couple of hours, my dad knocked at my door. He brought some papers and that roll of papers. When he was giving it to me, I saw he was trying to stop laughing in front of me. I didn't ask him what happen but started thinking about what went wrong.

I opened my copy at the very first page was full of small (2/3 lines) poems. Romantic poems. I couldn't read much, it was written all over the question paper, everywhere it found any gap.

My head started spinning, this must be found by the photocopier. Then he must have shown it to my dad. Allah knows, to who else he had shown or making stories. What was my dad thinking about me! Within few weeks of my class, what I am doing? I couldn't think more. I became very mad, "হালার হালা, কি রকম বেইজ্জতি অবস্থার মধ্যে  ফেলসে আমারে!"

Life lesson, "If you get anything from anyone, check it out first! before passing it to someone else.

Biography 19: Our dad went to Saudi Arabia

 We were living at South Kamlapur on those days. My mom had got two opportunities to go abroad. One, to go to the USA for training. The second one is to go to Saudi Arabia to do a government job. After having a discussion with my dad, she decided to go to Saudi Arabia for a job. Because they needed money. I don't remember when my mom left us. Because I was surrounded by my aunts and uncles, neighbours etc. My life was with all of them. Mom has to go to work and stay late to earn money. So, she wasn't that close with me.

But I remember the day when my dad left. My cousin brother took me to the airport. On those days people can view airplanes and runways from a balcony of the airport. My brother held me and showed me a passenger line where my dad was walking towards the plane. I saw him, ok, he doesn't stay with me the whole day, he had a job. So, for me it's OK. He can go anywhere he wants, to do a job. My dad had also got a government job in Saudi Arabia. My brother saw my poker face, he thought I might not see that my dad is leaving. He asked my dad to come out from the line so that I can see him. Dad stood separately from the line and waved his hand to me. I was looking at him in the same way. My brother held my hand waved for him. Dad left.

Dog's tail.

 When I was in school, I have heard from our teachers that we are like dog's tails. No matter how much they try or in their language "No matter how many times they give massage with ghee on it", it will be bent always.

Now I understand how they actually felt at that moment. I'm living with 2 males. No matter how many times I tried to make them understand, they didn't change. They will make piles of plates in the sink, they will put their dirty shoes in other places but on the tray, they won't clean the area after taking food, will eat junk food first then no interest in meal, never put boxes or packages for recycling but everywhere in the room, within 10 seconds they can make the kitchen area like garbage, if the garbage bin is full, no need to take it out keep throwing garbages around it etc.

I have been trying hard to make things better for years. The result is, now they know, no matter what they do, someone will fix it. It's magic, and they have every right to enjoy it. They don't care what I say, sometimes get irritated. That's all but never tried to fix themselves.

Biography 18: Colour TV

In my childhood, I have seen, there were very few people who had a television at home. And those televisions were looked like a big box. In those days Bangladesh Television (BTV) telecasted only black and white programs.

People liked to see movies on TV. There was a fixed schedule when BTV telecasted Bangla movie on TV. On that day all neighbours went to a whom who has a TV. I guess they didn't like to have a big crowd in their room, but couldn't say no. On the floor, they give mat to sit and watch TV. After the program, they close the TV. I remember the TV used to take some moments to get close and people didn't move until it closes fully.

Sometimes when the room gets packed fully, they had to close the door, so that no more people can come inside. I was too little to understand the TV program but liked to sit with the elders. One night, my sisters (My older sister, cousin sister and their friends) came back from somewhere who already closed their door. Probably my sisters were late. They requested my youngest aunt (My father's youngest sister) to go with them, maybe they will open the door if any adult knocked. She went there and I joined the group. She knocked for hours (That's exactly what I felt) but no one opened the door. She mentioned her name a few times when knocking, but that didn't work. We came back home and we were very sad.

My dad probably informed my mom in his latter. She was in Saudi Arabia with a government job. And asked her to send a black & white TV to Bangladesh. Because BTV wasn't telecasted coloured program on those days. She sent us a 13'', 3 in one coloured TV. I mean the TV had a radio and cassette player too. Then things get changed. We use to put our TV on Baranda when any popular program telecasted. Put a mat on the floor. Our neighbours use to come and watch the programs. I use to sit on a chair, sometimes lying on a bed and watch or enjoy. By the time we get the TV, BTV (Bangladesh Television) started telecast coloured programs.

A Bangladeshi song

 Ami Chai Thakte (আমি চাই থাকতে)

I liked the song, but the singer's voice. I wish someone else had given the female voice.