Keeping connections

 This is very difficult to keep a connection with a couple when you know one of them dislikes you. You just don't want to ignore them as they helped you in many ways, or they are your relative. I have faced this so many times. Most of the time I had avoided both of them. Because I don't want any stress from them. 

But now a day I'm thinking to face it. Stay with them, avoid or ignore all activity from the person who dislikes us, will try to inform everything to both so there will be fewer chances to misunderstand us.

Again, it is very difficult to keep relations or connections like this. Because one is enough to make toxic relation in the group. No matter how many times you ignore them, they will never stop trying to put you down.

Biography 31: Dances

 It's true I liked to dance to music since my childhood. But I have started learning academic dancing when I was in grade 2. So, I had no idea how should I dance when I was in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia). Our neighbours get to know that we were moving so many of them came to visit us. One day a woman came with her daughter. The daughter was a teen.

My mom and that woman were discussing both cultures. I guess. Then my mom turned on Bangla music in a cassette player and asked us to dance. We, I and my older sister started dancing, though that wasn't any dance actually. My mom was giving instructions like take your hands up, bent etc.

I am sure the woman wasn't impressed, though she didn't say anything. My mom always felt happy with our dance or any other activity. Then the woman asked her daughter to dance. Her daughter tightened her part of cloth around her hip and the woman started singing and giving beats by slapping on the table. The girl danced. Mostly she moved her hip. I felt she had a very nice rhythm but I didn't know anything about this kind of dance. I liked it, but my mom didn't. Different cultures different choices.

Now I know, she did belly dance.

This is me

When I came from Bangladesh to Saskatchewan, I expectation was pretty high. Though I knew, there will be some expected and unexpected problems. One of my friends told me, if I became choosy in the selection of work/earn money, it may take some time to find a good one. But if I start working anything or anywhere then I might get a job immediately and can have a good life with that amount of money.

So, in my mind, I didn't make any aim for a job or life. I was ready to start with anything and go on living with any work. Still, I am like that but my physical condition makes me a little selective. I can't do any standing job anymore. My feet hurt.

I know I am good at any job. Maybe I take a little time to learn my work then I can go on working smoothly. I improve the current work system and helps others to do a better job. Soon the whole branch or company starting doing good. But I'm a silent worker. I never go to my boss or superior to show what I have done. Or make any complaint about others. So, no one notices. Then for any strong reason, if I left, the whole system falls down. Nobody still doesn't know or care who they need to run things well. What can I say, if my absence doesn't bother you, maybe you don't need my presence.

But it doesn't mean I will change myself for others. I will keep doing good wherever I go. I will fix things wherever I can. I won't wait for others to appraise me. This is me, when I am somewhere, good things will keep happening around you and you will never know who is behind it.

Biography 30: The carpet

 I don't remember how long I have lived in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia). It felt like years. But maybe for less than a year. Because then we moved to Umlez.

The people of that village (Later Alkaseem became a big city, we heard) liked my mom very much (Mom said). When they get to know that we are going to another city, people meet with us, give gifts etc. I remember that the Ameer of that area (Mayor) invited us to his place. We went there and I was amazed at his room's carpet. I have never seen it before or ever after. 

The whole room was covered with a very soft carpet. It looks like white grass. In about half feet distance there were woollen flowers (Like Bangladeshi Kodom) rise up. All are women but the flowers were standing with a stronger wool stick. When I put my feet on it bend down to the floor. All a felt is soft comfortable wools. From that moment I really wish to have that carpet for myself. Never found in the market.

Saskatchewan VS Ontario

[I have taken the video from my bedroom when fireworks almost finished in our area, but there were some far away]

 I have landed in Canada at Pearson International Airport. But I didn't go out, I took the next flight to Saskatchewan. My life in Canada started in Saskatchewan. I had lived there for more than 5 years. Then I moved to Ontario.

In Saskatchewan, whoever gets to know that I am moving to Ontario, the way they congratulate me like I'm moving to Canada from any third world country. Some asked they want to move too, so what are the pros and cons.

After moving to Ontario, many people from Ontario asked me how is Ontario. I can assume they want to listen to something good about it. But the truth is a little different. And, I didn't want to break their heart. So, I have answered something diplomatically.

Before moving to Toronto I have heard from the Toronto people that this is a very big city.  But you have to understand in Bangladesh I was born and grow in a megacity. If I compare it in my mind it's not that big. And I was living in the biggest city in Saskatchewan. So, I was expecting more.

In many issues, Toronto has good services. But there are many issues too where I felt Saskatchewan has better service. Saskatchewan has always low budget than these big cities. Still, in many issues, they are managing better. Now, I can't say this to Toronto people on their faces. I'm sure they won't like it.

The weather surprises me the most. After moving from Saskatchewan to Ontario I felt. I came to Bangladesh from Canada. Hot and humid weather. The temperature isn't very low but we felt too cold. And get cold too.

People don't want to maintain traffic rules. The road design needed to do better to avoid collisions. Needed more signs to mention about the road speed, especially before joining different road speed limits.

The online system is needed for personal health and driving info. Saskatchewan has something better. And, this info should be free.

Bus stoppages should be like the Richmond area in Ontario. Most of them are still like Saskatchewan bus stoppages. 

Bus and other public transport costs should be minimized, to encourage people to use public transport. Now if two people want to make a journey, Ubar seems cheaper. Because in most cases you will need to change the bus and pay more. In Saskatchewan, people don't need to pay more if they use transit within 1.5 hours.

I like the way Ontario people enjoyed Victoria day. From 8 pm 12am everywhere people were firing fireworks. I was standing on my balcony and watching fireworks, some are near and some were firing far away. It was amazing. at a time fireworks in ten places. I didn't see this kind of enjoyment in Saskatchewan.

Now, in the pandemic, I don't go out much. I don't meet people or go to any place unnecessarily. So,  I actually didn't see the real Ontario life. I have to wait for more.

Biography 30: Riding on an open truck

 After the marriage ceremony, the bride's family brought a truck to drop the guests at their homes. Or more car... I don't remember. We didn't get a chance to sit at the front. They offer us to sit on the open backside. I felt humiliated. But I saw other people didn't care. They jumped on the truck and were very happy to be sitted. Later I understood why.

This was one of the most amazing rides that I ever took.  At night the desert area became much cooler, the sky was full of stars and our journey on the sand starts. It was amazing. Some started girls started singing, we all enjoyed every bit of that moment. I wish we lived far away that we didn't get down from the truck soon.

Popup Clinic in Ontario

 I went to a popup clinic to get the Covid-19 vaccine. I didn't know that in our area, a popup clinic has been opened. One of my friends lived near the community center where this temporary clinic has been established. They saw this and inform me. 

My question is what if they didn't inform me. I would have stayed home and would never know. This clinic has been set up for this community only. They could send a leaflet to all households and the doors of the apartments to let them know about the clinic. Then we all can have the opportunity to register online or take a ticket at the clinic in person. This way, all the neighbours would know and no one would have left. Unless they decided not to take any vaccine.

And like all the pharmacies, popup clinics also should have a plan to give people date for the second dose of the vaccine.

When I went to the clinic, the tickets have been given already in previous days and I didn't know that. But the management let me take the vaccine as a walk-in person. I must say the management of the clinic was very good. They didn't let people come hours early and stood up in the line for hours. They asked them to go back home and come a few minutes early. People live nearby buildings so they didn't feel any problem with that and the line never went too big. These clinics are very helpful to give vaccines to people in a rapid way.

Inside, everything was very organized. I saw a man who has got a bed, probably he wasn't feeling well after taking the vaccine. I was fine. I have waited for 10 minutes inside after taking the vaccine and then reported that I'm fine and go out.

I have got the Pfizer vaccine. I wanted to give it to my son too. Health Canada approved this vaccine from the age of 12. But the clinic didn't give anyone who is below 18.

Biography 29: A small black door

In Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia) sometimes I and my older sister went out for a walk. But we had a fear that we may get lost and will never make to come back home. So, we always follow a simple straight road, following the boundary wall of our clinic and walk to the end of that road. Then a big open space. As it's a desert area, the road and that open area were fully covered with sands. There were many other roads that also come and end at that open space. At the end of the open space, there was a small black door. We use to come to that open space and watch people. Never get the courage to pick one road and go ahead. 

But the most interesting thing was that door. We have seen all people who walk and come to that area go inside that door. Then missing. Never seen anyone come from that door, like a black hole. You have to understand you are watching Alkaseen with a small girl's eye. We, the sisters discussed, what could happen here. But couldn't find a solution.

Later, we got a chance to solve that misty. A Saudi family invited us. We went there with other people by walking through that door. It's was a small corridor to go to another open space. Kind of a shortcut. But, because of the shadow, it looked like a black door.

Don't lose anything

 I don't lose anything. OK, generally I don't lose anything. When I lost anything, I don't search. I know, it will come back to me by itself. Let me give you some examples. I have true evidence.

yesterday I have lost my hair clip. Please don't laugh. I can start with a simple example. I looked at my bed, it wasn't there neither on my dressing table. I stopped looking for it. Because I knew it will come to me by itself. The next day when I was preparing dinner I found it on the rice cooker. I generally don't touch my hair while cooking, I don't know how it went there, but I'm happy that I found it.

If I don't like any place, I never say that I won't come back here again. Because if I say so, it is a must that I will go back there. It happened to me so many times, that I stay alert on this issue. This thing happened to me about some people too. My life put me in front of them. I'm sure none of us wanted to meet ever.

When I was in grade 5, I use to wear a frock (Uniform) with two pockets. I use to put coins in it to buy something in my break. At the end of the school ground, there was a small shop with cheap products for kids. I use to run to the shop. One day I came back running on the ground and then I saw, I have lost 50 Poisa (Cents). The school ground is quite big and full of grasses. But I can't accept that I had lost something. I had started searching and within 2 seconds I found it. It's a miracle but I knew, I won't lose anything.

There was a huge crowd in front of a window to collect admission forms for admission in Viqarunnisa College. I had taken my form then went out from the main gate and realize, I have lost my pen. I went inside and start looking on the ground. I asked the girls to move a little to check the ground. Girls looked at me with a big surprise when I found my pen within a minute.

But, I'm looking for some people for a long time. Not exactly looking, but deep inside waiting to meet with them. Maybe someday my luck will let me meet with them. I don't know. People and things are not the same. 

Biography 28: Boys will be boys

 

We have got an invitation to join a marriage ceremony in Alkaseem (Saudi Arabia). My mother and 3 sisters went there. My mom later told me, she had seen, all expenses had taken care of by the groom. They send all foods and even the mat to sit the invited guests including the bride's expenses. That's why before marriage the groom has to save a lot of money. This situation makes a man a little older in Saudi Arabia get married. That's why some boys go to Egypt to get married because Egyptian girls don't have that much demand or to get married at a low cost.

I wasn't that older to understand these things. I remember a part of that party. It was a night party. In the wedding house, there were two yards for men and women. We took a seat at the girl's yard. There were no boys inside that yard. It was surrounded by a 1 or 2 storied building. In the middle, there was an open space. The girls who had long black hair stood up and let their hair open. These girls were very looking very beautiful. Then they start dancing. That's their traditional dance. In my eyes, they were taking their hair from one side to another. That's it. My mom has long hair too. Mom said, they let her hair open and ask her to join the dance. She felt shy, couldn't join them.

Then something happened. I saw girls fall down, actually, they hide behind all other girls. Some older woman stood up and told to let go of those boys first, who are sitted at the top of the buildings to watch the dance (Girls). I believe there were 13-17 old boys. When older woman shouted and some may go upstairs to bring them down. They went away. They were laughing.

I wanted him to learn from me

 I am trying to teach my son as many things (that I felt needed) as possible. Once I thought, whatever I know, I will teach my son. Whatever things that I felt good, will tell him, he will decide whether he will follow those or not.

Reality and your planning can't go 100% the same. The real world is more beautiful, more interesting and gives you more trouble than you can ever think of.

Sometimes when I try to teach him something, but he gets that totally wrong. Let me give you an example. When I divide any food, I always took to the worse one, a small one. I thought my son will learn from me that when he picks something, he should give better ones to others and took the worse ones for himself. One day when my son was distributing food, he gave me the worse one! He learnt from me that I should have the worse thing!

My son uses to believe in my suggestion without any doubt, till he became 12. Now a day, he thinks, many times I am not giving him the right decision. I can assume, later he might think, all my suggestions are wrong.

I am having doubt, will I be able to teach him, as I wanted to?

Biography 27: Accent problem

 In Alkaseem, Saudi Arabia, we were surrounded by Arabic-speaking people. I mean there were people from other countries too. Like from Sudan, Egypt etc who all speak in Arabic. I don't know how my parents learned to speak Arabic very well. Mom said, first she uses to copy whatever she heard.... then gradually she became an expert in it. I never learnt (Accept my mother language) any language like that.

We, the kids didn't meet with other people much. So we didn't need to speak a different language. When needed my mom was there to translate. So, I never felt to learn Arabic. After living for 2 years in Saudi Arabia I learnt a couple of words only.

One day, mom asked both sisters to go to a grocery shop, which was very near to our house. She said asked the shopkeeper to give tomatoes. He will understand your language. Well, we doubt. But my mom was an iron lady, we had to go and ask. As expected, he didn't have a clue what we were asking about. He showed rice and other things to point to it. We tried a couple of times then returned home. My mom was so disappointed with the two girls. She went to the shop and asked in Arabic. The man laughed out loud and said, "Oh, Tomath?" Then he gave us tomatoes. I was thinking why he couldn't guess tomato and tomath could be the same thing...

After reaching Canada, I have faced the same thing a couple of times. Just for a little difference in accent, people couldn't understand a thing. One day a Chinese guy asked me something. I could understand that he is asking something in Bangla, after listening 4/5 times. He was very fast and his accent was Chinese. Now I understand, why others couldn't understand my language because of my accent.