My son’s recent demand is bicycle

My son’s recent craze is bicycle. He has one, actually that was mine (when I was 6 years old, my dad bought it for me from Saudi Arabia). As time passed the cycle became old and had some problem. My mother made some permanent fixing to make it run. This is where my son has some objections. Let me explain.

Like other kid’s bicycle, it has two little extra tire to make balance. My son wants to remove it, as he saw it in other adult cycle. But my mother made it permanent, so it can’t be removed. So, he is now demanding a new bicycle. On the road whenever he saw any bicycle he stops moving and asks me to give him a bicycle like this. I always said “Yes” (though I don’t know when). Sometimes he wants to take away a bicycle which might he found parking beside the road, I had to make him realize that he can’t take others things.

Recently he discovers in “Rio” animation film that there is a bicycle which can be ride by 3 peoples. So, this became his new demand. I asked him, who else is going to ride with you? He replied, “first me (himself), then my friend”. I had asked, then? He said, “Then you”. I am happy; in my son’s dream tour he included me. I don’t care who is going to come in my son’s life, I am going to love her more than her own mother, because she is going to live in my son’s heart, where I can never hurt.

Why people can’t tolerate a kid

Shafeen is playing and running with empty chairs in a “Gaye Holud” ceremony. 

My son’s age is now 4 years. He likes to spend his time by running and jumping and playing. Wherever he goes, if he is in good mood (mostly he is) he runs and runs all over the area. But people around him are not like that. They don’t like it. They called my son naughty. They scold him to sit down in peace.

I don’t like it. Is he grown enough that he has to sit and wait and take rest like aged man? He is running without harming anyone or anything. Then what is your problem. People just can see a kid running in open place or home? Why? He is not doing anything wrong, that we have to punish him. Why people can’t tolerate a kid who likes to spend his time by running and running?

Different experience with different income oriented people

Shafeen with an elite look

In our country you can easily communicate or mix with the middle class people. Where we face little difficulty with upper class and too lower class people. Let me tell you how I had experienced.

That time I was studying at the 1^st year at Geography & Environment in Dhaka University. Our mam one day give us a survey task. That we have to go, door to door, who has little plantation at their home and check how much space they occupied with that. This was my first survey to communicate directly. I was little afraid. So, I took my cousin bro with me. I thought people won’t let me get in their house, because first they don’t know me, then I will take their time and will irritate them with my questioners. But responses were totally different. I just told them I came from Dhaka University and they opened their door and take me inside their house. They wanted to feed me whatever they have and happily helped me in my survey. They were all middle class family (I took this survey in a middle class area).

When I was studying in second year, we went to Haluaghat at Maymansing. It’s a border area and most people are lower income family. I told them several times that I came from Dhaka University, I don’t have any contact with government, and they didn't listen. They told me to take their pictures and story and told this to prime minister. I had to stay at their home for couple of minutes, except they complain didn't get much. Only one Garo (a tribal society) family looks living very well. They welcome us and let us sit and let us see inside their house. All were looking beautiful. They were not living too lower income status.

In our final year we went to Bagerhat. This time our team got job to take survey to upper class family. First I sit in a tea stall and take a cup of tea and discuss with the tea maker who are the rich family in this area, who has more than one lakh income monthly. I found my informer knows a lot. He gave us information about contractor, doctor and business man’s address. And later I found he was totally correct with his info.

Here people asked us too many questions (we were 3 girls) before they open the door, then didn't get inside the home unless they take little interview of us. Good, all should think about their security. Then nobody wanted to answer my survey questions, they afraid, all will go to government and that may create problem. I ensured them these are only for educational purpose, and finally somehow manage them. One old man didn't convince at all. He was a business man. So, I had to make some tricks. I asked all question like I was gossiping with him. And he answered all. Later we got to know who interviewed the middle class family really got warm reception and again who interviewed the lower class, faced problem.

My window is in summer.

My window is in summer. I keep open my windows in summer. Now all are closed in winter. 

Nick name

In Bangadesh we have a tradition that all of us have a nick name. My name is Shahana Shafiuddin, and nick name ***** (I better not disclose that because I don't want anybody to call me with that). When I was in school, my friends said your beloved will call you “Shanu”. I didn’t like that at all. Allah helped me; (still) no body calls me like that. But from boys I have got some more name, well no body calls me with those, but said to me. Like stone made heart, heart like iron, liver made by iron etc.  So, from their point of view I am a strong woman (like stone and iron). Not bad.

Always became a good friend of them

Generally who ever maid come to our home for work, kids of the house became very good friend (disturbs a lot) of them. Here Shafeen (my son) was 1 year and 7 months old, was at his grandmother’s (maternal) house. He was checking whether the maid was working properly or not, and holding a ball (that’s exactly he thought).

I had tested myself

Shafeen took this picture by himself, he is 4 years old

I am a good girl, yes I am. No matter what you think. Most cases people think that I am like that because I can’t be worse. I thought about that too. Am I? So, I gave myself some test and everywhere I have proved that I can be worst, but I am not, because I don’t want to be like that. Let me tell you about one.

When I was studying in Dhaka University, I use to take university bus “Shrabon”. All students waited beside the road for bus. When bus comes all start running and makes a competition to take the good sit and don’t want to be the last one who might not get any sit. I didn’t like that at all. I thought we are educated people. Why don’t we make a line? But I was sure nobody is going to listen to me so didn’t say anything. I always waited for the bus and gently get on it, never fight. If I get sit fine, if no, I can live with that.

Here my test was am I like that because I can’t run and fight for a sit? Let me check. I tried it for 2 days, and the result is every day I run and get on the bus first. So I can do things like that, but I don’t, because I really don’t like this.

Shopping

Shafeen and Tameem (my elder sister's son). Shafeen was 1 year and 7 months old. We were at Nandan, which doesn’t exist anymore.

Shopping cart is always Shafeen's responsibility

Shafeen liked tha penguin

My elder sister Sharmin

Like most of the woman, I like shopping. When I want to give me some gift, I give myself to go for shopping. Well only once I gave this gift to myself, it’s little expensive, you know. That day I went to Agora at RifleSquire, Dhaka. And I bought whatever I felt I need. On that day I shop for tk 13000. No much, you see. But I really bought some essential things for home, later which became very helpful, like nonstick deep fry pan, food weight machine etc.

My son liked shopping too. Actually he liked to run the shopping cart. But, now a day, he prefers to stay at grandmother’s house (maternal) to play and let mom go to shop alone. Good for both of us.

In which group do I belong?

Me with my headache in the morning, at my son’s school

How do you join a group? Not online, I am talking about off line. From my childhood wherever I went, I have seen within few days people make small groups. Like in school, college, university, office, home everywhere. And after the grouping I always found myself alone.

Am I so boring? Who knows? Do I hurt people, no? Then why this happens? I don’t know, but one thing for sure, problem is in me. Everybody can’t be wrong.

Once I discussed about this to my school friend (off course after passing school), I talk and became friend with everybody, but no is my close friend. People have different circle, how to join there. My friend told me, it’s so simple, pick a group, and then go to them when they are talking by making a circle. Give a big slap on someone’s shoulder, and say “aare dost (hey friend)!” Allah help me, I didn’t follow that.

Now I am watching the same situation in my new place. It’s a waiting place of guardians of my son’s school. First, all were sitting together. Now group developed. One is lower middle class, another one is middle class. Me? No where. I watch, listen and talk with them all. I have no problem to mix with any of them or they don’t hesitate to talk with me. But I don’t belong to any group. Here one thing is good, now a day I have headache every morning (every day), so it’s better to keep quite in the morning.

Divided the working time between me and my son

Shafeen was 1 year and 7 months old when these pictures had been taken

I have only one PC in my home and users are two (me and my son). So fighting to sit in front of computer is an obvious matter. To solve this problem (and to save my son’s eyes), I divided the working time on PC. Day time is for my son (when I can do other jobs). And after Margrib prayer, my time starts. Flexibility is if my son isn’t at home, or busy (playing with cousins) or sleeping (generally after fazar prayer) then I can also work at day time. And in my son’s feeding time (may be at night) he can also watch animation films in computer. So, battle ended.

My mind is making me sick

Shafeen (my 4 years old son) took this picture.

Some people have very good control on their mind. No matter how difficulty they face in their mind, physically they stay fit. And I am not that kind of person. If my body somehow gets infected, it takes down my mind too. And whenever I felt depressed, it strongly effect on my body. Mainly my headache started. Then the only one duty remains for me, how to stop my headache (because when it increases it felt my head is going to bust out, I start vomiting, and can’t resist the pain).  So, I try to sleep, if not succeed to stop the headache then take napa (paracetamol), it that don’t work too, then finally had to take clofenac and relaxation. This way generally problem solves. But this time it’s not working, may be I couldn’t give myself enough rest. I wish that I know how to get rid of this pain.

Today I was feeling little better, then suddenly a phone call came and I have got an invitation to go to a place at Saturday, and again headache starts. So, I had to say myself, don’t worry, you won’t go there. My brain liked that, now I am feeling good from headache. 

Even this view isn’t available now from the window

Shafeen was 1 year and 6 months old.

This is how an urban boy sees outside of his world. He was watching the cars on the road and then playing like that with his own car. For your kind information, now he even can’t see anything from this window, because a tall building buildup here and he can only see the wall from this window. My poor son!

What Shafeen did in his first day at school

Shafeen is ready to go to school

Yesterday was Shafeen’s first day at school. He was very happy with his school and told me he wants to go there again and again. In one and half hour school:

• he played,
• join class,
• color his book,
• fight with his new friend,
• took back his water pot from other child,
• took chocolate from miss’s (teacher’s) table, because she didn’t give it by herself,
• eat at tiffin time, 
• play in the play area (including basketball),
• get hurt by dropping down,
• tear his water pot's belt,
• come back home by walking etc.

I don’t whether he will remember his first day or not, so I like to write it down for him. May be some day he will read it and show it to his son!

Our thoughts many times bios by the people who stays near

In the morning when you woke up with both some bad news and good news you actually don’t know how to react. You will find, it depends who are near to you. If the bad news is coming from your near people then no matter how good news waited for you, you won’t be happy. If both are from far away… then nothing matter. Just feel sorrow in heart for bad and bit happiness too with good one. Hmm near people always bios us in our thoughts and feelings. We can’t accept anything wrong with them.

Me and Shafeen in our “television”

Shahana and Shafeen. My youngest sister Shekha decorated the picture by her cell phone

Shafeen in winter cloths

Like all mother I want to protect my son from cold weather in winter. The interesting matter is I never bought any winter cloth for my son. All he has is from his elder (cousin) brother and some came as a gift. What I do is start wearing him as much cloth as needed. If he felt cold his forehead became warm, so I check it every now and then. So, if I understand the cloth isn't enough I wore him more on previous. It works! 

The damage is done

When you get angry, you don’t know what you are doing or saying. You may behave rough, give angry look and say strong word that nobody should deserve. And after some time you may start feeling better, then you may say sorry. Or can start talking and try to erase previous situation. But you know… it doesn't work always. Sometimes damage is done. You can’t do anything with that now. So, we all shall know how to talk when we disagree with anything or better not say anything in anger.

I have seen my mom and dad do this kind of mistake many times. When they tried to recover it, didn't work mostly. Many of their close friends left them only because of this. Many relative don’t like them because what they said some day long time ago…

You can erase your misbehave from your mind, but you can’t erase that so easily from others mind.

Trade fair (old)

Here shafeen (my son) playing with RFL products

Tameem (my elder sister's son), Sonia (my younger sister) and Shafeen

Tameem and Shafeen testing RFL plastic products (toys).

This was probably Shafeen’s first Trade fair visiting. I forgot the year (could be 2010). Every year (sometime misses) we visit there. Because companies bring their product directly to the show room (pavilion) so at least we can think that we are getting the right thing in right price. Also can see and get some international products. Here my youngest sister decorated the pictures with her cell phone.

Hope rises, then suddenly falls very hard

Today in breakfast I wanted to make macaroni salad (don’t try it if you don’t know how to make it, I couldn’t make it taste good). I boiled the water with 1 tea spoon of oil and little salt. Then open the packet and put all the macaroni into the boiling water. Then I saw a small piece of paper with the macaroni. I pull it out and found it’s a scratch card. It mentioned there if I could win, I can get Dhaka-London-Dhaka, Dhaka-Singapore-Dhaka or Dhaka-Bangkok-Dhaka air ticket or many more prizes. You could understand suddenly I just got a lottery ticket and how I could feel on that moment. I scratch the card and got “2 taka”. 

Parent wants to keep their child safe

Shafeen with my father

Shafeen playing with a plate

Shafeen on my bed.

All pictures are decorated by my younger sister Shekha by her cell phone

We, the parent always want our child play safe (though they don’t like that at all). When Shafeen was younger I let him play on the bed. I liked it too (now both of us don’t want it, Shafeen don’t want to play safe and I don’t want him to make mess on bed with thousand of toys). I just needed to give him something to play with, like a plate, bowl, spoon etc. Mostly he played at my father’s bed. My father (he is no more) was sick so most of the time he has to stay on bed and my son gave him company.

Make a separate bed in other room for dad first

Shafeen

I always say upcoming things to my son Shafeen to make his mind prepared. One night I told him, when you grow up little more I will make a separate bed in other room and you have to sleep there alone. Nothing to worry, you have grown up now; you won’t feel bad without mom.

My son was trying to sleep on the bed, he woke up and sit down and said, “My dad is aged than me, first make a separate bed for him in other room and send him away from you.”

I couldn’t find anything to replay except laughing. 

We were at Boishakhi mela

Me and Shafeen (my son)

Shekha and Shafeen

Shekha (my youngest sister) decorated the pictures

Paush Mela 2013, Ramna Park

I wanted to take the picture of the sun… but don’t know why, it showing blank in the sky.

We went to Poush mela (traditional Bangla winter fair) at Ramana Park, Dhaka. We mean me, Shafeen (my 4 years old son), my youngest sister Shekha, her husband Ashiq and their daughter Dia. Before reaching the park Shafeen showed the park from CNG and informed us that this was his school when he was a kid (generally on way I show him this was my school, this was collage etc, and he wanted to do that too)!

In “Poush mela” first we saw a stage, where children were getting ready for performance and long sitting arrangements for the visitor. Beside that U shape line for the stalls, where mostly Pitha (Bangladeshi traditional cake) was introduced for the visitors. Some of them were making pitha in the stall. Some came with jelly, aachar (preserved food and vegetables), bed cover, cushion cover, chatpati etc.

We tasted different pitha and enjoyed the songs. I like some old Bangla songs. Like “Mothu maloti dake aaye...” with some traditional folk songs like “takdhum takdhum bajay Bangladesher dhol…” etc.

Then we went to Ramna restaurant garden, where children played on grass. They wanted to remove fence around a tree because they believed tree shouldn’t be in any cage. A cure little girl joined our family to do this job. Other children also joined with these kids in playing (actually running).

Shafeen found a bike in the mela (fair), I asked the rider to let my son ride. They (a guy with a little girl) agreed, so Shafeen (then Dia followed his brother) sit on the bike.

After Magreeb prayer we came back to home.

Using “like” in Facebook

Facebook has many features that we all don’t use always, especially when they introduce new features. People suddenly don’t understand it, or faces difficult to understand or sometimes miss use it (including me).  The most common and easy feature is “Like” option. Very easy to use and describe what we feel.

Is it? Why we use like? Tell me. Answer could be, when we like the post. Do we always do so? Let me give you some example.

One person wrote a poem about the heart breaking of his first love. We will see people giving “like” after “like”. Why? The person is crying, and you like it? What them to fall in this trouble that they can write more like that? Allah knows. The most interesting part is, that person also likes to get so many “like”.

A person is dead; someone wrote something about it. And we start giving “like”. May be you like the writing, you can say it in the comment, but if you like that post that also means you are feeling good that the person is dead.

Sometimes we use “Like” to share it with our friends that they will see what I liked. You can use “Share” button. No need to say like unless you like it.

Sometime we may "Like" a post to let others know that you are online...Hey you have chat option and message option. What you think why are they given for?

Tameem was on his duty

Shafeen was 1 year and 6 months old.

As an elder brother, Tameem’s (my elder sister Sharmin’s son) duty is to take of his juniors. Whether he liked it or not, he always had to do this job. Here Tameem is playing with Shafeen (my son) in his (Tameem’s) rocking chair. Now a day His (Tameem’s) duty is to play with Dia (my youngest sister Shekha’s daughter). Here I must say his junior bro and sister likes him a lot. They won’t want to let him go but try always keeping him with them to play.

May be I can spend some time out, without any reason

Enjoying food in a restaurant

I am thinking to give myself a holiday. Hey I can give it to myself in a year at least. Where can I go? Just spend some time of my own. May be I can sit in a place and let my child play. What about boomers? I can sit and watch my son playing and spend some time without doing anything, not even thinking (tasting food will be OK). If I found known persons there then only can have some chitchat for nothing. Thinking….

Finally (at 1.30pm) I had to change my mind. My younger sister (Shekha Shafiuddin) offered us (me and my son) to go to Ramna Park to enjoy Winter Pitha Utshob (or something like that). So I canceled my holiday (to walk alone) and joining other team’s plan.

Shafeen enjoys wide space

Here Shafeen was 1 year and 6 months old

In Dhaka, children are growing up like firm chicken. They live in a cage (very small studio flats), study in a cage (in flat rooms their school established), plays in cage (in restaurant some space allocated for child to play in net) and grow up like that. It’s really difficult to find a wide and clean place to let them run and play.

Shafeen likes Bashundhara city complex, because of its free space. If he gets chance he spends his time by running. 2 times he lost; Allah knows how I felt on those moments.

”Grey’s Anatomy”

Dia and Shafeen, bro and sis generally plays and watch songs together.

I am regularly watching”Grey’s Anatomy” at Star World (TV channel). Every day before ending Grey says some words, which she realizes from her personal experience of life. I like them... like

“It’s not over, until it’s really isn't”

“Sometimes you don’t know, why are you two tie together”

“You will move on, when it’s time”

window shopping

Shafeen (my 4 years old son)

Shafeen is at window shopping at “Bashundhara city complex” shopping mall. Most of the visitors of this shopping mall do window shopping because of it high price. But this month most of the shop generally provides discounts because of “International Trade Fair”.