Days always pass away but memories remain

In my childhood there was an AD about photo studio “চলে যাবে দিন, রয়ে যাবে স্মৃতি অমলিন” (Days always pass away but memories remain). Like these words. First I thought we only remember the bad memory. It’s very easy to forget about the good one. Yes that’s true in regular life. But in love you will only remember the good one. If you are in love, you will always forget how that person hurts you many times.

This is earth, and you have to struggle to live here always.

Life isn't easy or perfect. No matter how perfectly you work, some or big problems will come in front of you which you can never imagine and you have to face it. Sometimes people feel happy when you solve all of their problems or small issues. It doesn't mean people want problems to be happy.

In this way reality will always remind you that you are not in heaven... this is earth, and you have to struggle to live here always.

মাইগ্রেন খুব খারাপ (Migraine is very bad)

মাইগ্রেন খুব খারাপ. এতো তোয়াজে রাখি সব সময় তারপরও কিভাবে যেন এসে যায়. আর একবার এসে মাথায় চরে বসলে আর যাওয়ার নাম করে না. কত অসুধ, ঘুম আরাম করি, তারপর যদি দয়া হয়. মাথা ব্যাথা যাওয়ার কোন সহজ পদ্ধতি পেলে ভাল হতো...

Migraine is very bad. No matter how I take care of it but somehow it manages to come and sit on my head. Then it's very difficult to send it away. I tried in many ways, by medicine, rest, sleep but very difficult to get rid of it. I wish there would be some easy technique to get relief from this pain.

Patient for photography

When visit to a beautiful place we always like to take a picture of it. So, that it will become a good memory to share with friends and family. We like it. Do we like that too when others are taking pictures, doesn't seem so. In many places I have faced problem while taking a snap.

When you see a person taking a picture of something do you really need to cross him/her in front of their camera? When you can wait for few seconds or may pass that place behind the photographer? Well all people don’t like to do so. They believe, I am the kind of that place. I can move wherever I like to and whenever I feel good. Who cares about others photography?

In the picture I was taking picture of my son at Baily road. Plenty of space left behind me and I didn't take much time. But still this person couldn't hold himself to meet his other boyfriends, while others were standing for some moment for mother child photography. Good for me that my son showed enough patients that I could take another snap for him.

MONEY CAN'T BRING HAPPINESS FOR YOUR DAUGHTER

My maid is much tensed. She recently gave her elder daughter marry. First she was in economic problem, because, she had to give money, to her son-in-law, for business. Then in Eid she had to give dresses and shoe to the new son in law including her daughters.

Now she is in other problem. She has to give full furniture to her daughter as she is going to start her new life. And she can't buy old furniture to save money... all has to be new. She is saying she doesn't know what to do...

Here I must say... this became very common scenario in Bangladesh (may be in some other country too). People who has money gives all possible things to their daughters after marry. This makes greedy to the groom family more and makes jealous of other people in neighbor. All likes to bring bride from these kind of (money making) family, don't care who is going to be their bride (in some cases they look for beautiful and educated girls too including wealthy family).

Because of this situation middle class family faces problems. No matter what they give, grooms family never satisfied. Always expected more (some says directly, some indirectly).

For this tradition poor family suffers more. Their family can never fulfill grooms family demand and the daughters had to pay for it by all kind of (physical, mental, social etc) torture. Many families killed their bride to get more money.

My suggestions to the wealthy family... please drop this tradition. Let the groom hold your daughter by his own responsibility. The universal truth is "MONEY CAN'T BRING HAPPINESS FOR YOUR DAUGHTER". No matter how much you give... if the groom family has mental problem (mostly has) they will give pain to your daughter. Some might directly say, "We didn't bring you to see your face, you have to work for this family", some may use different indirect word.

If a good family want a bride and ready to keep her happy, they won't demand or expect anything but your daughter. If your daughters go there in one set of cloth they will be happy to have her....

Please stop this bad habit (giving furniture) for your daughter.

Unless we can stop this tradition, we can’t expect people will like to have girl child and raise them… obviously they will to kill them in mother’s womb.

মন এবং মগজ (heart and brain)

মন এবং মগজ সব সময় দুই কথা বলে. মনের কথা শুনলে পরে আপসোস করতে হয়. তারচেয়ে মগজের কথা শোনা ভাল. মগজ ভুল কম করে. কিন্তু মনের শক্তি অনেক. তার মতের বিরুদ্ধে গেলে শারীরিক ভাবে অসুস্থ বানিয়ে দেয়. মনকে ভুলানো শুরু করেছি. মনকে বলেছি, আশা নিয়ে থাকো, একদিন না একদিন আশা পুরন হবে. মগজকে বলেছি, মন তার আশা নিয়ে বসে আছে, তোমাকে জালাতন করবেনা, তুমি তোমার মতো কাজ করো....


মৃতুর আগ পর্যন্ত আশা নিয়ে বসে থাকলে আর মন ভাঙ্গার সম্ভাবনা নেই. আর মগজ যদি ঠিক মতো কাজ করতে পারে তো জীবন আর আটকে থাকবে না....দেখা যাক এবার কি ফলাফল হয়.

Heart and brain always says contradictory words. If listen to the heart, later had to regret, better listen to the brain. It makes fewer mistakes. But heart is very powerful element of human body, it makes us sick physically. So I had to find a middle way. I have told to my mind that keeps hope. Someday your hope may fulfill, just keep waiting. And then asked brain, you can work as you wanted... mind/heart won't disturb you.

If my mind keeps its hope till death then it will never be broken and if my mind can work properly then my life will move on... I won't stick in one place.... Let’s see what comes next

Picture with water

I like water... in every possible way... I like sit by keeping my feet underwater only, I can sit or stay under water by keeping my head over water only, in shower I enjoyed most in a day, I like rain, I like boat.... and I don't know how to swim.

Same goes for my son too... He likes water...His favorite food is liquid food (milk, soft drinks etc) whenever we saw water I try to take a picture with that :)

Parents also need good guiding

Before becoming a mother I never understood that parents are like God to the kids. They are actually creating the kids life, from childhood to adult. In the Indian sub-continent, parents influence their kid's life till death.

So, every single decision for a kid is very important. One step can totally change your kid’s life. Let me give some examples. A mother may take her son to a singing school in his childhood, and later that may become the life changing event. That boy may become a good singer.

You may plan to make your kid scholar, so you may keep pushing your kid for study and never let go for other activity... later that boy may become arrogant that he doesn't like to study at all and may never be good at any other work.

You may think too much love may destroy your kid's future... but later lack of love may made him to choose alone life.

So, there is no option to make mistake... Well no body do this kind of mistake intentionally. But parents need good guiding (from media, government etc) a lot, to make the right decision for their kid.

We can't forget that the kids are the future of our nation...

কথায় সংযত থাকাই শ্রেয় (It's good to hold your tongue)

কথা বার্তায় আমি সব সময়ই বেশ সংযত. বেশি কথা দুরে থাক, দরকারী কথাই ঠিক মতো বলতে পারিনা. তারপরও কারো কারো সাথে মন খুলে লাগামহীন কথা বলার চেস্টা করেছিলাম. বন্ধু ভেবে, বা তার চেয়ে বেশি কিছু. ফলাফল ভাল হয়নি. কেউ সেটা ভালভাবে নেয়নি.

আমি তাদের আরো অনেক কিছু বলার জন্য তৈরী হয়ে গিয়েছিলাম (জীবনের কিছু গুরুত্বপূর্ণ সিদ্ধান্ত নিতে চলেছিলাম), হয়তো সেসব বলার বা শোনার মতো প্রস্তুত তারা হয়নি... আমিই হয়তো ভুল বুঝছিলাম.

একদিক থেকে হয়তো ঠিকই হয়েছে. হয়তো আমি নিজের এমন কথা বলে ফেলতাম, পরে তারজন্য আমাকে আপসোস করতে হতো. যদিও সত্য আমি সহজেই শিকার করে নেই, সেটা আমার নিজের সম্পর্কে যত খারাপই হোক না কেন. আবার সত্য না হলেও কখনো কখনো মেনে নিয়েছি, গোলমাল চাইনা বলে.

একটা সময় ছিল, যখন আমি নিজের জন্য কিছু চাইতাম না. আমার খুশি, ভাললাগার কোন মূল্য আমি নিজেই দিতাম না. আমি এখনও তাই, তবে নিজের দিকটা এখন খানিকটা খেয়াল করি. কারন আমার কিছু হলে আরেকটা জীবনের আরো বেশি ক্ষতি হবে.

এইজন্য আগে আমি জীবনে যে কোন চ্যালেঞ্জ নিয়ে নিতাম. সবার মতের বিরুদ্ধে হলেও. যা ঠিক মনে হত তাই করতাম. পরিবার, সমাজ বা অন্য কারো ইচ্ছার চেয়ে যা ঠিক, সেটাই গুরুত্বপূর্ন বলে মনে করতাম. আজ ঝড় মোকাবেলা করতে করতে আমি ক্লান্ত. এখন ঘরপোড়া গরু আমি. উত্তপ্ত হাড়ি থেকে জ্বলন্ত আগুনে ঝাপ দিতে চাইনা. মানুষকে বিশ্বাস করে যথেস্ট ঠকেছি, যথেস্ট হয়েছে...

তারচেয়ে বরং সবকিছু আল্লাহর উপর ছেড়ে দিয়ে শান্তিতে দিন কাটাই. আল্লাহ আমার জন্য যা রেখেছেন, তাই হবে. আর কিছু ভাবতে চাইনা.

I am always a very reserve person. I don’t talk much; even I don’t say necessary talks. But sometimes I was too open and say everything without thinking about anything to some people, as I treated them as my friend or more than that. But result didn't come well.

I was ready to say many important things of my life to them (was ready to take some important decision with them). May be they were not ready or prepare to listen to them. May be I was wrong about them.

In one sense, this is the right thing happen. I might have told them about some topic, for which, later I might regret. Though I accept the truth always, no matter how hard they are on me. Sometimes I had accepted those things which were not truth, only because I don’t want any trouble with them.

Generally I never wanted anything for me. I never take care of my happiness. But now a day I try to take care of my health a bit, because, if anything happen to me, some other life will be in trouble.

That’s why previously I use to take any challenge in life. I never thought what other will think, what my family will react, I only considered what is right and go for it. But now am tired. I don’t want any more trouble from anywhere. I trusted people a lot and get lots of lessons… enough is enough.

So, I better give everything to Allah, and whatever Allah decides for me, I will accept. I don’t want to think anymore…

Please don't give anything extra ordinary things to your kid in school

Kids always like to copy others. If one kid touch any toy from a bowl, all will like to have it. No mater what other toys left. All will believe that their life is depending on that particular toy. In school if one kid start wearing sunglasses, then rest of the student will start follow that kid. And then all other parent have to buy sunglasses for their kid too.

That's why please don't give/bring anything extra ordinary to your kid in school. Because then others might like to have that. It's not a good situation for parents. If I don't give that new thing to my son, he will stay upset, will try to have it from that kid by forcing, if fail may keep looking at it. It's not a pleasant situation.

Things can be explained without hurting anyone

We all like to live together. And we might have many similar thoughts with some differences. Every people think s/he is right. Now, in which judgment you will say you are right? There will always be some different opinion. You just can’t put your judgment on other. Yes, you can bring in front the topic and show your logic. But people do it in their own way, mostly with anger and slang.

My word is you can’t hurt anybody even with your language. Things can be presented in good way… no matter what it is… just make sense what you want to say in good manner. Learn how to talk, without hurting anyone. You know, when anyone hurts you, you also feel the pain…

কিছু সান্ত্বনার কথা (Some words to give peace in mind)

জীবনে কঠিন সময়, খারাপ সময়, কষ্টের সময়, স্তব্ধ হবার সময়, ক্লান্তির সময়, ব্যথার সময় কতই তো আসে. থেমে গেলে কষ্ট আরো বেশি. তারচেয়ে বরং মনকে কোন রকম বুঝিয়ে চলতে থাকি. যত ধীর গতিতেই চলিনা কেন, চলতে তো হবে.....

এসময় আমি মনকে নানা কথা বলি.....

- মুভ অন

- আল্লাহ ভরসা

- মুমিন কখনোও নিরাশ হয়না

- every one is free, so let them go

- honesty is the best policy

- কান্নাকাটি যা করার আমি করে ফেলেছি, এই কোটা শেষ আর কাঁদব না.

- Let's hope for the best and prepare for the worse

- যে আপনার আপনার, সে আপনি এসে ধরা দিবে.

- আল্লাহ আমাকে যা দিবেন, যতটুকু দিবেন, তাই নিয়ে আমি সন্তুস্ট থাকব.

এই কথাগুলো মনে বেশ সাহস যোগায়. আমি আমার সাধ্য মতো কাজ করে যাই, বাকি আল্লাহর ইচ্ছা.

You know, in your life there are lots of moment of sorrow, disaster, mental disorder, heartbroken moment, sad, sorrow, tired, pain. But I have to go on, no matter how slow it is I must try. In these moments I say many things to my mind. Like....

- Move on

- Allah is there

- Mumin never gives up

- Everyone is free, so let them go

- Honesty is the best policy

- I have cried enough, that part is over, I won't cry anymore.

- Let's hope for the best and prepare for the worse

- Who is yours, he will be with you by himself

- Whatever Allah gives me, I will be satisfied always.

These words really help me to stand up and go on. I will try my best to stand alone. Rest whatever Allah decide for me, I will accept.

Helicopter service

In Bangladesh, now helicopter services are available. It’s little expensive, but I think many people can afford it. So, people who afford it should use it. It’s really very tough and in humanity (especially for woman) to stack in the high way for hours or days, where toilet facilities are not available and also very difficult to arrange food. And it’s not cool to sit in this hot and humid weather on road without moving a bit. We need very good and proper traffic management during Eid. Nothing is impossible if we use our brain.

Unemployment and workers problem

Now a day many important things can be solved online. People can post job and take interview through net. But the only problem is visa. I think if any company decided that they had got the right person from other country then should be able to bring that person in their country with family. Here visa process should be easy. Then it will be very good for the companies and also for the job seekers. Unemployment and workers (short of worker) problem will become very less. Companies will be able to bring employee from those countries where they have more skilled people than the work.

সব মানুষই নিজের পছন্দ মতো গ্রুপ করে থাকে (Every people mix with group where their choices match)

খুব ছোট বেলা থেকেই মানুষের কিছু স্বভাব খেয়াল করতাম. যেমন, সব জায়গায় দেখেছি, টাকা পয়সার সাথে মিল রেখে বন্ধু গ্রুপ হয়ে যায়. সেটাই স্বাভাবিক, মতের এবং কাজের মিল না হলে হবে কি করে.

স্কুল জীবন থেকেই দেখছি, যাদের গাড়ি আছে, তারা গাড়ি ওয়ালাদেরই লিফট দেয়. মিশেও তাদের সাথে. অন্যদের এই উপকার করে লাভ নেই. অন্য এই উপকার ফিরিয়ে দিতে পারবে না.

চাকুরী জীবনে দেখলাম, কেউ যখন বিদেশে চলে যায়, তখন আর দেশে যারা থাকে তাদের আর চিনে না (কেউ কেউ). তারাই বেস্ট ফ্রেইন্ড যারা বিদেশে থাকে. এটা অবশ্যই ঠিক যে বিদেশে যারা থাকে তারা একে অপরের সমস্যা ভাল বোঝে, তাই বলে বাকিদের সাথে কথা বলতে ইচ্ছে করবে না?

মন্দ কি, সবারই নিজের স্টেটাস এর সাথে মিল রেখে লোকজনের সাথে মিশে. হয়তো সেটাই বুদ্ধিমানের কাজ. নইলে বেশিরভাগ মানুষ এমন কেন করবে?

আমি বোকা মানুষ, এতো বুঝে মিশতে পারিনা. তার সাথেই কথা বলি, যে আমার সাথে কথা বলতে পছন্দ করে, যে আমার ক্ষতি না করে. আমি আসলে খুব একটা কথা বলি না.

From my childhood I have seen, people mix with only selective persons. Like, where money power matches. Obviously then their work and thought will match.

From my school life I have seen, the people who have car, give lift to only those people who has car too. I understand, in return they might be able to do same, which others can't.

In my work life I have seen, people who goes abroad keep communication with only those who also went abroad. They don't recognize who left in the country (some of them), don't feel to answer them. Well I understand, now their problem and joy will understand only those, who live abroad too.

Not bad, may be this is the right thing, that's why most of the people follow this. I am always a stupid person, I talk with people with home I feel comfort and felt they like to talk with me too and they won’t harm me. Actually I don't talk much...

Driving a car

My father had 3 cars, one after another. And still I don't know how to drive. In my childhood, my dad kept me on his lap and let me handle the car. That's it. Later I didn't try to drive. Many times I thought I will learn driving from our driver, then from my brother, but I didn't. Then I thought I will learn from a driving training school. But I didn't. It's not that I fear to drive. It's just lack of will power. Still I have a plan to learn driving a car :)