Biography 52: Water treatment

 When we were living in South Komolapur, Bangladesh, my life was like a tomboy. Both my parents use to go out to work. I was free to hope around our neighbourhood. I don't remember when I use to eat or what. But I do remember many times I had faced stomach pain. At that time my dad uses to put a steel-made bowl on my stomach with cold water. The cold helped to reduce my pain and I think mostly my good immune system somehow rescued me. But I like that water treatment.

 At home, all older seems like that too. I saw them laughing when I was lying on the bed with the bowl of water. I guess, they were happy to see me stuck in one place.

I can't hurt

 If I had trust in a useless person, it's my mistake. I accept my mistake. I have no shame to accept my faults. Though I still didn't learn how to fix this problem.

I want to stop trusting people, I don't want to take the blame on me to save them. I want to fix the trouble that I already had because of this trust issue.

Still, I'm far away to solve these problems. Because I can't hurt anyone. It's better to hurt myself.

Biography 51: lake between Komolapur and Matijhil.

 In my childhood, we use to live with our paternal grandparents in their house. We were surrounded by our paternal aunts and uncle. Our grandparent's house was at Komolapur, Dhaka, Bangladesh. It was near the Matijhil area. I remember there was a lake between our area and the Matijhil business area. People use to go there by boat. It was a small narrowboat. People use to stand on it. The boatman uses to move with a paddle or sometimes with a bamboo very carefully. It was shallow water. Sometimes the water was cover with Water Hyacinth (In Bangla Kachuri Pana). Mostly office-going people used that boat to go to work or to come back from work. My mom said it was cost 10 cents (In Bangla Poisha).

I remember we use to go to the lake with a very narrow path between two buildings. People use to make two-row, one to go and another to return.

Later, when we returned from Saudi Arabia, I wanted to ride that boat. But I guess by that time, the lake was covered or there was no lake anymore. It was situated behind the Bangladesh Bank.

Eid Mubarak

 Today we are celebrating Eid Ul Azha in Canada. I have some plans to celebrate it. Like I thought I will clean and make the house spotless. I did the laundry. I thought I will make delicious food for Eid. I have made "Nurgesi Cofta". It's chicken keema with a staffed egg.

The way I'm achieving my goals, (only one from the to-do list) I don't know, what will happen with the rest of the lists. Like, put henna on hair and hand. Get well dressed. Communicate with everyone, go live on FB and greet Eid Mubarak. I have also invited my friend, I hope I will arrange everything well. Still, I have 3 full days to go on (3 days of Eid). Let's see.

Biography 50: Qurbani Eid in Saudi

 In Saudi Arabia, there is an animal almost like a sheep. It's called Dumba. It has far or wool like a sheep. But it had more. I'm guessing that helps them to protect themselves from direct sunlight in the desert. Their tail is very fat, not like a goat or sheep.

In Saudi, it's very common in villages that when a guest visits, they cut a Dumba and make a meal. To cut or Jobeh Dumba only one man involves. In Bangladesh, we will need 3/4 people. What they do is one person tighten up the legs and put one foot on it to hold and then use one hand to hold the Dumba's head and put the knife on its throat.

One day I saw my dad brought two goats. It stayed a couple of days at home. At night it kept making sounds if no one stands with it. I thought it only wants my company. I use to give it leaves which dad brought for the goat.

In Eid ur Azha, my dad with his friends made the Qurbani. They hung the goat in the backyard with the fence. Then my dad took the whole day to cut it into pieces.

Every Eid I have seen my mom invited all the known people. They are from Bangladesh, India, Pakistan, Srilanka, Egypt etc. My mom made Bangladeshi food (Special ones to celebrate). 

One day a guy also join us who wasn't on our invitation list. He's origin in Bangladesh but he is living in Saudi for generations. He doesn't know how to speak in Bangla. He was dressed up like a Saudi man. I mean he was wearing "Toap". It's like a maxi, mostly gents wear it in white colour. The common Saudi man's dress. This guest brought me a dress. It was a very beautiful expensive maxi for me. I wore it in Bangladesh too, later. He just wanted to meet with Bangladeshi people, on Eid day. He said, lots of things to me in Saudi, which I didn't understand.

I just can't sleep

 Sometimes this happens to me, I just can't sleep. Am I stressing about anything? No. Did I sleep in the daytime? No. Physically having trouble or pain? No. Then Allah knows why.

Sometimes I can't sleep for days. Once for 4 days, I was continuously waking. To force me to get to sleep, for four days I worked non-stop. So, that my body physically became tired and fall asleep.

Maybe this is why people get addicted to sleeping pills.

Biography 49: I thought they are a thief

 In our block, a Pakistani family lived. They had 3 kids. As far as I could recall the names Omar, Chanda and Kiran. Kiran was the youngest daughter of that family. There could be another boy, I am not sure. Their parent has some good relation with Teena's family. So, they use to come to Teena'a house. One day Teena told me that they steal. So, Teena decided to stop them from coming to Teena's house.

As a friend, I believed Teena, though I didn't see anyone steal. It's part of friendship. When a friend says anything bad about anyone, all other friends believe that. Now I know, this attitude is so wrong.

Anyway, Teena locked all the doors and stand on the roof. Those kids came. Wanted to come into the house. But Teena said, No, you guys steal, I won't let you in (In Bangla). They replied, "Hum chory nehi korenge (We won't steal, in Urdu). We don't speak each other's language, but we understood that conversation pretty well. Teena argued, "Na, tomra chury koro (No, you guys steal)", in Bangla. They have asked many times, waited for a long time. But Teena was very strict. At that time, as a friend without knowing anything I supported Teena. Maybe they came to Teena's house several times. But Teena never let them get inside.

From the bottom of my heart. I'm saying sorry to them. I wish I could stay neutral.

Teena had thousands of toys, she breaks and lost them many times. Teena's parents always suspect others. My mom told me they suspect me too. Many times Teena's dad came to our house walk around and look for something. As my mom warned me, I never touched any of her toys. Though my parent didn't buy me any toys. I wanted toys badly. But steal, I didn't touch others. I'm still like that. No matter how badly I want something, I don't say anything.

Actually just wanted to hear praises

 In many organizations you will see, the organizer says they want to work together or make the decision together. In the end, you will see, they have only approved their own decisions. 

Or sometimes, they ask your opinion on some matter. Actually, they just want to hear praises on that issue. If you ask to change or add something to it, they won't like it. There is no chance that you will see any slight change to keep your opinion. Moreover, from next they might kick you out from that kind of meeting.

No matter how many times they ask all people to join the leadership or work together. They will only elect their own people. They will always give you a genuine cause how it is impossible to take you in the team.

So, I think, in these situations, I better just watch and learn. When no one wants to hear from me, then what's the point of talking?

Biography 48: Teena

 In my Saudi Arabia life, Teena was my best friend. We were living in the same compound in different houses. Both her parents were doctors. She was very beautiful, like her mom. She had a younger brother, named Faisal.

Both of our parents use to work full time. So, the whole day we stayed together and play together. She liked me. She told me so. Let me give you an example of her likeness.

During her aunt's marriage ceremony, they went to Bangladesh. Over there whoever says anything, she uses to reply, "Shimul apa says this thing should be done like this..... etc". Everyone became curious, who is this Shimul apa. Teena's mom replied, "Shimul apa is her Guru!"

Teena knew only one word in Arabic, "Keeda" which means, "This way". With this one word and her body language, she could explain the whole scenario. 

One day Teena's dad bought her a bicycle. I didn't know or didn't put any importance on it. But my parents thought, now I may feel bad, if they don't buy any cycle for me. So, my dad took me to the market. We were living in a small town. And in the market, my dad couldn't find any other bicycle for me but the one Teena bought. She was younger than me, so it was her size. My dad looking for something bigger but a kid's version. But none was available. So, he had to buy the same one for me. I had ridden that bicycle with the training wheel on.

Here I want to give a suggestion to all parents. If you really want your kids to learn to ride a bicycle, remove the training wheels. Otherwise, no matter how much they practice, they will never learn to ride a bicycle, like me. My mom brought that cycle to Bangladesh. It was used for kids generation after generation. My younger sisters and brother use it. My brother removed the training wheels and he is the one who learnt to ride a bicycle. Then next generation, our kids also ride that cycle, including my son Shafeen.

We returned to Bangladesh from Saudi Arabia before Teena's family did. One day Teena came to meet with us with her family. She stayed with us the whole day. In the afternoon her parents picked her up. That was the last time we met. On those days, whenever I felt upset, I wished to go to their house, but I didn't know where they live. Later I heard, they went to the USA.

Something to be happy about

 It's temporary, but something to be happy about.

Biography 47: Small park at the middle of our block

 In Umlez (Saudi Arabia) we were living in a small town. In our block, we had a small park in the middle of our block. Then the road around the park and after the road we had houses. One storied or two. The park was very beautiful. There were many small and big trees and paths, which were made of stones. There were some vegetable plants also. But they use it as a decoration tree. An old man was responsible to take care of the park.

Unfortunately, no one was allowed to enter the park. It's like a table garden in the block. You can only view it through a big iron fence around it. I and my older sister used to look at its beauty from far away. One day we saw a bunch of Saudi girls came (Probably from our neighbourhood) and went inside the park. Some of them were our age, some were older. They were wearing maxi (The common dress of Saudi women). No girls were wearing Borkha. They were laughing loudly, playing, talking etc. The gardener wasn't there. We were thinking how did they know that the gardener won't be there now. The girls stayed for a couple of minutes, hopped around the garden and then left together. We saw in the french one part of the iron rod is bent so people can go inside. Why didn't we noticed that. Anyway, later many times we thought we will go inside the park too. But never had the courage to do that.

Saskatchewan vs Ontario 2

Shafeen's work

 In Saskatchewan, all apartments have AC and dishwashers. When you work full time and raise your kid, you know how much you have time to do the dishes. Another reason is, in Canada, summer is very hot. Sometimes you will feel difficult to breathe. Every summer people die because of hot weather and most of them didn't have AC in the house.

In Ontario, generally, apartments don't have any AC or dishwasher. But they are taking rents double than Saskatchewan. I really expected better service in the world's number one city.

In Saskatchewan, whenever we call the apartment manager, he answered the phone. If he couldn't receive the call, then call he used to call us back. Even when we use to send him a message, he called back.

In Ontario, the building manager stopped taking our calls after we moved in. And he never calls us back. Like you have taken the apartment, my job is done, now live on your own.

Biography 46: My dad's boss's son

Shafeen's work

 One day my dad came from work and he was very angry. He said someone put dirt on his car. Then he looked at me and told me, "Keep an eye on the car."

Our car uses to be parked at the roadside, in front of Tina's house. Because their house was at the front. We didn't get to the roadside house. Tina was the doctor's family's daughter. She was one year younger than me. So, I and Tina became alert. We started playing near the front area of Tina's house.

In the afternoon, we saw a bunch of boys (A little older than us) came on the road. They jumped up on our car and started singing and dancing on its body. I became very angry. They noticed two little girls were standing right beside the car. I told them, get down, now(In Bangla)! Maybe that hurt their boy's ego. They stopped jumping but didn't get down. Tina was very smart. She ran into our house to bring my dad. One of the boys, maybe the leader, told me something (In Arabic). Everyone laughed out loud. Well, that didn't make me feel good.

My dad came. He asked the boy (Leader) something. Then both of them talked (In Arabic), laughed and the boys left. I didn't expect that from my dad.

I and Tina looked at my dad with a question mark. Dad said, "He is our boss's son". Then he left too. Now we girls looked at each other.  What is in boss's son?

After that incident, those boys have never shown up. I don't know, what exactly happened between the two dads.

In this total incident, none of us scared that anything could happen to us. We always felt safe in that country (Saudi Arabia).

Don't underestimate your instinct

Everything can't be managed or ruled by the government. Everything can't be ruled by others, everything can't be managed by friends or someone else. Sometimes you have to take control of yourself. Take control of wherever things needed to be controlled.

Many of us are like sheep. If one goes in a path, the rest of us will follow. We are human, every person has a different way of thinking and understanding. It doesn't mean every person will walk in different directions. It means never let your guard down. Follow people, when you know, they are right. Blind trust isn't good for any, except dictators.

When your instinct says something, check it out.

Biography 45: kids were in Saudi Arabia

 Our next neighbour was living in a two-storied building. One day, my mom and I went there to see a newborn baby. We went inside the house. The baby was covered with a blanket. My mom asked something, and they removed the blanket. I saw the baby rolled up with a rope. Something like a mommy. The kid was fully dressed and sleeping. My mom was arguing with them. She showed me, too. I didn't understand Arabic, but I could understand what was happening there. 

According to Saudi Culture, they think if they don't bind up babies like that, the hands and legs won't go straight. Like a newborn baby, it will keep bending even after growing up. My mom showed me, for example, that even if she let her grow me free, I'm 100% OK. But tradition can't go with one lecture. So, they kept their baby like that. I asked my mom later why the baby also looked comfortable. She replied, "Babies like to stay cozy like that, so they kind of enjoy that."

In those days, VCRs were new. We didn't have that. My dad's boss (A Saudi) told us that if we wanted to see any movie, we could bring a video cassette to their home, and both families could watch it together. So, one day, we went to their home. After dinner, we started watching the movie.

In general, Saudi families don't have any beds to sleep in. Their whole house is covered with carpets. Whenever kids feel sleepy, they fall asleep wherever they are. In that home, kids started to fall asleep here and there. Their dad dragged them by their hands to a single room to sleep in for the rest of the night. Generally, Saudi families have lots of kids.

Our parents watched the kids' situation and told them we had better go now. We will watch the movie later.

When I was a kid, I could go to any room, for men or women. Everybody liked me. They liked kids. And wherever I went, I got some gifts. 

One day, one uncle (Saudi host) gave me footballs. Small in size. I took. He asked my name. I told him. He opened the ball and wrote it down on the shell of the ball in Arabic. I didn't understand; my dad said he wrote your name. Actually, it was a radio. I never could use it. When we brought it to Bangladesh, it wasn't working. My parent kept it for a long time, probably because the battery was inside it, which damaged the whole thing. Poor me.

People's behavior towards Covid-19

 It's not about the economic situation like you or your state have no option but need to work for the economy. It's totally about people's mentality. They have seen their neighbour country was in trouble, they have seen how badly another area was affected. Now a day, people get to know very easily what is going on in other areas of this earth. Because of the internet, people can get information within a second. But still, people's mentality is, if it didn't happen with me or with my family. I won't have any problem, I can do whatever I want to. Let's arrange a get-together. Like if you don't meet with others you will die.

The reality is more painful than you can imagine. And when you will realize it, you won't have anything to reduce the pain.

And this situation isn't in only one country, this kind of activity is happening almost in every country. If we don't want any economic disaster in future, we have to hold on to put ourselves in stronger conditions to fight the virus. I'm talking about vaccination. Get vaccinated as soon as possible. Try to stay safe as much as possible, for sake of your family, your country and mostly for yourself.

Biography 44: My babysitting life

My mom couldn't find a way, how she is going to raise 4 daughters and kept her job. Shekha was an infant, Sonia was a toddler, I was just 6 years old girl and my older sister was 9. On those days, there were no daycare or English medium schools available in our area.

So, our parents decided, they will send my older sister and Sonia to Bangladesh. So, Sonia and Boropa started living in Faridpur, my maternal grand parent's house. Boropa admitted to a Faridpur school. I and Shekha started living in Saudi Arabia. Shekha had to stay with mom because she just gets born. I was there because my mom needed a babysitter so that she can continue her job. Somehow my parents also understood, that I'm not good in study. My older sister was the best.

My new life started in Saudi Arabia. Very early in the morning my mom uses to prepare Shekha and put her in the baby stroller. Then Shekha stayed with me, the whole day. At noon in the lunch break, mom used to come back home and feed Shekha, then again went to her clinic. The clinic was in the same block. Sometimes, if she needed to change, I used to take her to the clinic. Shekha learned to live with me most of the time, she was the youngest, so as usual, she became my parent's favourite. Later she understood she didn't need to listen to what my parents ask her. But she always listened to me.

Other than holding Shekha, I use to wipe the floor, clean rice or lentil, wash baby clothes etc. When Shekha learned how to walk, she wanted to go to the roof. But in Saudi, the weather is always very hot. So, whenever she put her foot on the roof she felt her foot is burning and she started screaming as loudly as possible. We had to run and rescue her. The next day again she did the same. My parents had to put a permanent wooden barrier to stop her. After a couple of days, she learned how to go out under the barrier.

Shekha liked to play with water too. Especially in the bathroom, with the bucket of water. No matter how many times our parents asked her to come out, she never listened. But If I said, "Dara, Ashtaasi (Wait, I'm coming to get you)" she ran out from the bathroom, like a bullet. Because if I said, I will come, I will. 

I used to go to our front door neighbour's house to play with their girl Tina. And Shekha stayed with me. She didn't disturb us, stayed quietly in her stroller. Tina liked Shekha. She wanted to marry her younger brother with Shekha as Shekha looked very beautiful.

Pay with Interest

 Paying with interest is something that I want to avoid. I don't want to take an interest, or want to give. So, I'm not a person who takes lots of loans for different purposes in name of financing. In Canada, it is really difficult to live without taking a loan/financing and live a good life. If you don't earn well.

Here in Canada, lifestyle is good, because the rich afford to buy better and the poor can buy with financing. The poor kept paying insurance every month or by-weekly to fulfil the payment. This situation took years to pay fully and they pay more with interest. But both rich and poor can afford better homes and cars this way. And all benefits go to the business people.

In this country, I don't want a loan, I don't earn better, I don't want to pay interest. Now I'm not helping much to the business people. And also not living a better life which everybody wanted. What a life.

Biography 43: Shekha

 When my youngest sister Shekha get born, I was staying at my mom's friend's house. There were few houses where Bangladeshi doctors and nurses used to live side by side houses. They had kids too. I found a couple of boys near my age. But when I tried playing with them, I found they like fighting games. That wasn't on my menu. No matter how much they fight with each other, they were nice to me.

One day my dad came from the hospital and told us, we have got a beautiful sister. I wanted to see her. But no, adults always prefer their way, they said, they will take me later. I told them, if they are not taking me now, I will go by myself. Allah knows, I told them the truth, I don't threaten anyone. Adults laughed at me. But my older sister kept an I on me so that I don't try to do that. I thought I know the path to the hospital, so I can go by myself. When my dad took me, I understood, I was wrong.

In the hospital, I saw my mom laying on the bed. There was a small baby bed is with her bed. My sister was sleeping over there. Then the nurse came and asked my sister's name, they will make the birth certificate. Here I should mention that in Saudi Arabia, people make names of the baby before they get born. But Bangladeshi culture was not like that. In those days, Bangladeshi parents took years to decide what will be kids' names. They first hear all suggestions from their relatives. 

But now in the hospital, they need the name right away. My mom thought, in Saudi people call Sheikh to honour men. So, she makes my sister's name Shekha as a female version of Sheikh. So, we got her name this way.

In this story, I would like to add about a Saudi woman. My mom told us the story. In the hospital, one day, my mom was washing her cloth by hands to remove stains. She was washing it in the attached bathroom near her bed. A Saudi woman came to the bathroom door and surprised. Probably her relative was in that hospital. She asked, what are you doing in this condition? My mom replied, what else I can do? The woman told my mom to go the bed and take a rest. Then the woman washed all clothes by her hand, without any hesitation. My mom doesn't know her name, never meet again. From the bottom of my heart, I salute that Saudi woman for helping an unknown woman.

July 1st, 2021

 Every celebration is different this year. This is Canada day. But recently we found grave yeads of kids from the residential school. To mourn with Indigenous people, we are not celebrating this Canada day in the usual way. We didn't celebrate the day with fireworks. The other reason is the Covid-19 delta virus. So, a new difference is our life now.

This day important for us for another reason. Today we are celebrating 100 years of the University of Dhaka. The most important educational center in Bangladesh. Again, due to the Covid-19 delta virus, we celebrated the day in both online and physical ways. People who had full vaccinated joined the "Shahid Minar" in GTA, Canada. The rest of the people could join online.