Bangladeshi mom

 I have seen moms love their children. In Bangladesh, moms will do everything for their boys. They will wake them up, prepare their dresses like cleaning, pressing etc, will make food for them if possible will feed them. They will try to know everything happening with them and will try to guide them to prevent them to mix with any wrong person, especially with girls. Their love has no boundary, no limit. But it is not without any selfishness. Moms don't want anybody who can take attention from their boys. She can tolerate their friends. But not his wife. Few moms don't want their boys to get married. Most of them agree to see them married because they need the next generation. But it doesn't mean the wife can take any money from their son. Mom wants everything. Boys heart, money and attention, everything. That's why moms raise their sons in a way that they will always depend on their mom. Moms Will keep doing emotional blackmails so that their attention won't go anywhere. The mom gives born so it's their property. These moms don't want or feel hesitant to take help from girls. No matter how rich their girls become, she likes to have everything from the boys. Girls are not her property, girls are for someone else.

Why is this situation? Mostly from tradition. Moms have seen their mom and mom-in-law, do the same. Why are they all doing so? In Bangladeshi culture, boys are responsible for their parents, moms. A girl gets born and raised in a family as some other family's property. After marriage, girls' parents have no right on their girls. The in-law family will take the girl's earnings and help. She can't help their own parents, that doesn't look good, or only when their in-laws give her permission to do so. She will be treated in the in-law as an outsider, so no love or care for her. But the girl's duty is to do everything and give all her earnings. Even her husband won't love and listen to her. He can't do or give anything to her if his mother doesn't like it. So, this girl has no one, neither parents nor in-laws to love. After giving birth she will get a son who can be her emotionally if she could make him be like that. Her girls will marry and go to another family. Now if somehow this boy doesn't look after her, not only by giving money but also by support emotionally, she has no one. In old age, she needs enough money to survive, and someone who will love her. So, how can she let her boys go? This way, this cycle is continuing.

I am a mother of a son too. I do everything for my son. It doesn't mean I don't want him to be independent. But my son is very lazy. He wants his mom or anyone who will do every work for him. Everyday mother-son argument happens, mostly because I ask him to do his own work. I want him to get marry soon and live his own life. I don't want to control him. I will help if they need any. Otherwise, I want them to live in their own way and stay happy always.