I never thought that I would be able to drink black coffee. I always took coffee with cream and sugar. I used to ask people how you guys drink black coffee. I had decided that if I had to give up sugar, I would stop drinking coffee.
But now I am trying. I drank half a spoonful of instant coffee and hot water in a cup. First, I felt terrible. Then, slowly, I finished it. Still, I don't like it. How do people drink black coffee?
Market Externalities:
Market
Externalities mean decision-making problems, like what should be left in the
market and what should be provided outside the market. These are specific
positive and negative consequences in the market. For example, without
regulation, the market can destroy natural resources. To keep up with the
people’s demands, people can exploit natural resources for excessive production
and services. Another way of Market Externalities could be the death of people
who were sick and disabled, who couldn’t buy food from the market. This
situation happens because of the unequal distribution of wealth.
To solve
this problem, society can act by adding an extra tax on cigarettes for ruining
health. They can also provide essential food to all for free.
Coffee:
Finding an
adult who doesn’t drink coffee in Canada won't be easy. So, there are a vast
number of coffee consumers in the country, and different brands of coffee are available here. Because of the vast number of coffee
consumers, we can be united and fix the problems of the market externalities.
First, we
need to create awareness among the general coffee consumers so that everyone can be united and pressure the corporations to fix all kinds of problems in different layers of production and selling. All problems can not be solved in one day. Everyone must be patient and fix them one after another.
For
example, we must create awareness of the poor people who are involved in the development
process of coffee bins. We may share pictures and videos on social media or get help from any non-profit organization that helps these people or works
with environmental justice. So that all information can be accessed through the news media
and other channels. We must make our voice heard for the poor farmers. And send messages
to the corporations that are directly involved in this process. We have to offer
them a company that will take responsibility for caring for poor farmers
without increasing coffee pricing. We will all buy coffee from that company. We
must keep our word if any company takes the initiative, so those farmers can
be safe from harmful plasticizers attacking their lungs.
If we
start seeing success, then we can focus on other issues. For example, farmers
are now producing excessive amounts of coffee to meet the demand and profit.
This way, they cut most trees in the forest to cultivate coffee beans. So, many problems, like soil erosion, started. We must come to a
solution to this problem so that the farmers won’t face the problems and there
will be fewer environmental problems, such as using indigenous ways of
cultivation. In this way, they cultivate different crops at the same time. One
tree protects another. Or any other scientific way. We must give that
information to the farmers through governments and corporations, which will be
very helpful for the environment and the whole world. Birds will increase, and
the farmers will see fewer pest attacks.
Apart from
environmental issues, we must also consider the social and political issues as
consumers. We know that corporations will only show interest in fixing problems
if they see some benefits. So, we must bring benefits for them too. They need
to get some government rules and regulations too, so they have no choice but
to take good initiative in the whole process. The government will take policies
to help reduce market externalities when they find that their vote bank will like
this and give votes to them. Which means we will have to create somewhat
win-win situations.
In the
end, we can say that the coffee we consume is made through different processes
in different countries. In between, corporate companies also change. So, it is tough
to fix any problems because everyone will push the reason for problems to the
other group. As it is developing in different countries, the government policy
differs in different countries.
When I was in Saudi Arabia, my mom used to wash my hair with Sunsilk Shampoo. She said everybody liked my silky black straight hair. They used to ask, Do all Bangladeshi have beautiful hair?
After returning to Bangladesh, my mom often applied coconut oil to my hair and braided it with a ribbon. She said, and I believe that too, because of her effort, I had some good quality hair.
Then I tried to take care of my hair. But I never had the time and energy to do so. With time, now much of my hair has become white. I'm glad I still have some hair. The way I lose hair, the head is supposed to be empty by this time.
1. Human rights violation. Canadian mining companies operate their mines outside Canada and are accused of human rights violations. External actors often influence the absence of adequate mining laws, especially in South America, causing violent deaths and severe injuries to mineworkers. For example, 5,000 persons will be displaced by the activities of Gran Colombia Gold. In addition, there is disregard for the rights of indigenous and tribal peoples. These companies' attitudes are like those of the colonial era. They are only concerned about earning money, with no space for human rights. The Canadian Government needs to make some strict laws and implement them to fix this problem. In the long run, this attitude will cause human migration towards North America.
2. Poverty. The mining projects change the sources of income and livelihood, resulting in increased poverty. These companies buying lands from the farmers, sometimes by force, are taking those lands with minimal money. These people have nowhere to go or no other way to earn money. They had to join the mining company to survive, and though the payment was very low, they couldn’t have a healthy life with their family. Because of their poor lifestyle and poverty, their health condition is in danger of malnutrition.
3. Serious environmental harm concerning air, water, and ground pollution, whether actual or potential. Human health in that area is in danger. Polluted and contaminated air and water directly harm their health. This ecological condition also directly affects the livestock and agricultural livelihoods of communities, such as decreased water for irrigation, deaths of animals, and contamination of ground, water, and air. The productivity of the soil is in danger, which also economically affects the local farmers.
4.
Socio-economic conflicts: 148 socio-economic conflicts in Latin America because of
Canadian Mining Operations. For example, irrigators of Valle de Huasco signed
an agreement with Barrick Gold, stipulating payment of US$ 60 million over 20
years as compensation for harm to the image of the area’s agricultural products
because of the gold deposits. In time, that money divided the irrigator group,
as there were complaints of corruption in managing the funding.
5. Cultural harm. Before the mining started, the areas were mainly agricultural land. The communities and their culture were based on agriculture. After mining started, their forced labour and abusive behaviour changed the total culture of that area. People are not happy mentally, physically, or economically. They are losing their cultural activities, peace, and everything related.
6. There is a violation of various rights, including the right to life, humane treatment, health, and property of the neighbouring communities. It looks like a colonial process is going on.
7. Criminalization of rights advocacy and closure of institutional spaces for dialogue, in addition to the exacerbation of violence, threats, harassment, deaths and serious injuries. Not only the mining company but also the community is involved in different criminal activities because of the cultural change.
8. Aggressive police behaviour: The rich mining companies use police to continue their violations. For example, in Panama, Penonomé police anti-riot units entered the camps on May 26, 2009, without any prior attempts at dialogue with protesters; officers threw teargas canisters at those present and arrested 19 farmers, who were beaten and jailed in the town of Coclesito. In Oaxaca state, Mexico, 23 persons were detained in May 2009 after evicting residents who had spoken out publicly against groundwater contamination in the area. On November 27, 2009, Mariano Abarca Roblero was murdered after receiving threats and after being arrested in August of that year for participating in peaceful protests against the project.
The Canadian embassy failed to respond to complaints about these acts. The Canadian government provides broad support to the extractive sector without requiring sufficient guarantees from Canadian companies that they will not harm the environment or cause human rights violations abroad.
Yes, I am in your heart.
I will stay there forever,
even when your heart stops beating.
So don’t try to hurt me.
It will only hurt your heart.
You want to know about my heart?
No, nobody is in there,
I kept it clean and clear, and I would like to maintain that level of clarity.
A Bangladeshi couple was working at Walmart together. I knew both of them, but didn't know they were husband and wife. One day, the wife told me she would like to give me some Qurbani's meat (beef). It was a couple of days before Eid. I became so happy. Though I do not touch beef, but my son will be able to eat some Qurbani meat which makes me happy.
On Eid day, I guessed that the woman became very busy with Eid preparations, including meat preparation and distribution. I didn't feel like reminding her to give me some, as she said.
But she didn't forget. She called me and asked me to come near her house and take some. I didn't feel good to give her trouble, but I really wanted to have some Qurbani meat, so I went to stand in front of her house. She came with a small bag of meat. She was exhausted and busy, but still she kept her word. I felt bad. I apologized for disturbing her in this way. But she said, no, in her mind she decided to give me some a long time ago, so she did. She asked to pray for her.
I pray to Allah to grant her peace of mind and a life of tranquillity.
Sometimes people come to me with a big hope. They asked me to pray for them. Like, if I pray, Allah will make it happen immediately. I wish that would happen. I pray with a full heart. I hope people get some benefit from my prayers.
There are/were a few people with whom I stopped talking or never spoke. But I had so many questions in my mind. Which I could never ask. Because they died.
If you have any questions in your mind, I think you should ask. Sometimes direct questions minimize a lot of misunderstanding or make things very clear. No need to worry about what will happen. What's worse can happen, you guys have already stopped talking with each other.
I may ask someday. Or not.
I have joined some FB groups. In one group, people are together who passed their SSC exam in 1992 (Grade 10 final exam).
I don't contribute much over there, as I don't have anything to post. However, I sometimes read others' posts. In this group, people are the same age. So, sometimes they flirt with each other, or make posts by mentioning how other girls or other's wives became so attractive to them, just for fun.
Here one person's post I found a little different. He also posts on love (mostly), but his love action was with his wife. I would like to discuss Bangladeshi culture here. In Bangladesh, people can easily express their feelings of love in public with anyone but their wife. I don't know why, but nobody likes to see someone love their wife. No one believed that, and if anyone showed any respect or love, all the others started making fun of him, until he stopped loving his wife.
So, I started reading all his posts because he was open about his love for his wife. Some people didn't like it as it was a little more open. Some felt it's looks like porno (mentioning about physical activity with his wife). I won't support opening too much, but it was somewhat good. So, people should understand that they can love their wives too.
But then he changed. He became like others. Started flirting with other women. I lose interest. He is also the same as others. I don't know why he changed himself. Maybe people were taunting him too much, or he found flirting with other people's wives attracted more people to his post. I don't know.
I believe if you have something different, don't try to change it. That differentiation makes you different from others. You become unique.
Based on this video:
a) The current situation facing refugees in the chosen example.
Roxham Road is a county road located on the border between the United States and Canada. More specifically, it is between Vermont, a state in the USA, and Quebec, a province in Canada. This is a narrow dirt road. It is
popular for an unofficial entry to Canada from the USA. Generally, a person needs
to obtain a visa or permission to enter Canada or any other country. When people enter a country, they must request asylum in that country, not in another country. Along this route, individuals can enter Canada unofficially and request asylum or immigration.
The current situation is that the road is closed. Police have established a permanent camp on this corridor to prevent human flow to Canada. When people arrive at this point to enter Canada without a visa, the police ask them to return. If they still try to enter, police arrest them in Canada.
b) What factors led to these people becoming refugees?
The refugees had used Roxham Road for years. The flow of people increased when the president of the USA, Donald Trump, said in a meeting in the Oval Office why the USA is welcoming people from the “shit hole countries.” This is a very disgraceful comment to any human from any country. The comment was made when many people moved from Haiti to save their lives. Those people are scared that they might be sent back to their home country, where the situation remains very stressful. In the meantime, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau tweeted a message welcoming all people in need of help. So, the people who were refugees in the USA from the Caribbean or African countries tried to flee once again to Canada in the hope that Canada would be a better country that would treat them well.
c) Your analysis of Canada's response to these populations and what it should be.
Canada needs more people to work for their country. It is a well-known country that easily accepts different kinds of immigrants, including refugees, and grants them Permanent residency. For many people living in other countries, Canada is often their first choice for relocation and starting a new life.
However, Canada has limited funds for asylum seekers. Additionally, its infrastructure needs to improve to accommodate and integrate the new population. This means that Canada needs more hospitals, roads, houses, schools, shelters, and recreation centers for newcomers. Without improving these infrastructures, Canada is taking in more refugees, when the shelters and funds are not enough.
Moreover, the funds available are used first for European refugees and then for Caribbean and African people. That’s why these people often struggle to find space in shelters or receive sufficient help to survive. Some of them died waiting outside the shelter on the road. This is not an acceptable situation.
Canada should have an excellent plan
to accept new populations and distribute them among the different provinces
according to their needs and skills. The country should prepare sufficient infrastructure to accommodate its current population. The
government should allocate enough funds to handle the refugees properly.
I like to receive gifts. I enjoy giving gifts to others, hoping that it brings them happiness as well. Maybe not.
When I started my job, I spent all of my first month's salary in four days, just by buying gifts for my parents and siblings. I hope they liked it. Maybe not.
As I had expended all my money, I had to take care of my daily expenses from my dad, just as I used to in my student life. My mom told me that Dad didn't like that. As I have started working now, I should have taken my responsibility by myself.
I understood. I never asked my dad for money again. Next time, I asked my mother for a loan when I started preparing to move to Canada. I have returned her money. Tried to send gifts to her and to my siblings whenever I could. I tried to send my mom monthly pocket money.
I hope they liked it. Maybe not.
But my mom liked it. Though she didn't spend that money on herself. She wanted to save those for me, in the hope that when I visit Bangladesh, she will spend on us.
I also tried to give gifts to others. Friends and families. In most cases, I felt they didn't like my gifts. Maybe not.
I focus on positivity in everything, especially when I don't like some people. I know they must have something positive, which is challenging to find out from my side. My anger and irritation cover up their positive qualities. Even if I couldn't find any, I still believe they have some positivity.
Favouritism,
I have heard from all parents. They love their children equally. And I have seen that they all have their own favourite child. In most cases, parents love their older kid more than others, and in some cases, the youngest one.
My parents have their own way of favouritism. They loved their older daughter the most. Whatever she asked for, they always tried to bring it to her. She is very gentle and good in her education, which made our parents love her more.
In my childhood, because of my happy mood and smile, I caught my parents' attention. Later, I proved I was not gentle like the older one and not good at education like her. So, my parent had no hope for me; I couldn't become their favourite. But for all the work and sacrifices they asked me to do. For example, if my parents needed to go out, sometimes for other children, they asked me to cancel my school and stay home. Sometimes, I had to go out with my mom to help her. I did. Then I noticed no one else was doing this kind of thing; it only came to me.
If my younger sister woke up late and the regular breakfast had finished, my mom made her special food for breakfast. I thought maybe because I always came to the table on time, I never got it. One day, I intentionally woke up late. But no, I didn't get the special treat. I never had that.
On the weekend, we all used to sleep longer. But sometimes, my mom woke me up to go to the nearby grocery store to buy something. None of my other siblings had to do this.
My younger sisters like a special part of the chicken. If they don't get it, they start screaming. I wanted those parts, too. If I somehow took one, my mom used to take it from my plate and give it to them.
One day, my mom was making paratha and put it on the plate. I sit on the chair to have my breakfast. My mom came running to me and took the plate away from there. And put it on my older sister's spot. She ate that later. My mom gave me paratha from leftovers of the previous day's breakfast; she warmed it up for me. I didn't say anything. But on that day, I cried in my room. Then I thought, It always happens to me, so why would I cry that day?
In my childhood, I thought about it many times. Why do they not like me? Not only them, but I found that people around me don't like me. They make distances with me, don't want to go out with me or see me in their happy moments. I always keep thinking, why? Maybe I did something that they couldn't tolerate, just being jealous, feeling insecure, or anything else. Each time, I try to fix myself, but it never works.
I always tried to listen to my parents and help them as much as possible. I have always done it, and I am trying to do it now, too. My dad started liking me when he was old. He knew I was trying to help him without any expectation; it's just me. I couldn't do much for my mom because I was far away from her. She hoped I would do more for her. I couldn't, but I will whenever I can.
Now I think I am the best. If you don't like me, it's your issue; you can live with that. I recommend staying away from me if you don't feel good with me. I will live as I am. Love me or leave me.
This could be the last night of Ramadan. May Allah shower blessings upon us. May Allah forgive all of our sins, may Allah remove all pains and suffering among us, may Allah give us a peaceful life and Jannah after death, may Allah keep us happy and give us a lovely life. Ameen, Ameen, Ameen.
Group members:
1.
Introduction
We presented on April 03, 2024. Our topic was “Closing Facilitation.”
My co-facilitators were Hali Omar, Sharon Jean, and Shawn Heydary. I have
attached:
- our presentation,
- quiz page,
- workshop design sheet, and
- All evolution forms from the observers.
2.
Planning
In our group discussion, we decided that I would cover how to
wrap up a workshop/seminar and group activities. I have added a quiz activity
at the end. Students will learn something through the quiz. Also, laughing at
the end of the presentation will be good humour.
I have updated the observation form with our group names and
printed five copies.
I have planned, created, and designed a quiz paper and
printed 25 copies.
3.
Facilitating – during class
We utilized our presentation timing appropriately. We
have given enough time to participate in our activities and write down the
observer evolutions.
In our agenda, we added more summaries after each
presentation slide, but then we realized that we could summarize everything
when presenting the slide; there was no need to add another slide for a summary.
In the end, the group only decided to provide an overview, but I added it to a
quiz; like every course, we added a quiz at the end. It’s just to add extra humour
to the presentation so the participants enjoy a fun moment and learn something
from it.
I worked on my slides independently. Then, my group shared
their opinions and made some adjustments. I researched my topics and added all
the information I had collected in a short form.
Our co-facilitators had researched their topics well and then
presented them briefly. Our professor also joined us as the topic was significant.
4.
Evaluating
After checking the evaluation form, I found 32 positive
comments and two suggestions for making things different.
After the presentation, everybody said they liked it very
much. The class laughed, enjoyed it, and said they wanted the presentation. For
example, one said that he may forget all the presentations but will remember
this one, especially the quiz. Others were saying it was amazing; they even
could think of how we would end our presentation on closing facilitations.
From this presentation, I learned a lot. I have seen many presentations and observed how they close their work. I have researched online and followed our given book. I have learned much about the importance of closing a group work and a seminar/workshop.
If I had facilitated the presentation again, I would have made it more colourful, added some videos, and spoke less.
5.
References
- Textbook
- Course Resources
- Course Pack: Sections 9 & 6
- Class notes on Brightspace
- Ideas for
Closing your Workshop. (n.d.). SKILLS21. https://www.mcgill.ca/skills21/facilitator-guide/plan/ideas-closing-your-workshop
We live in a multicultural world. Everybody has different food habits, fasting days, and spice levels. So, when we arrange a corporal party or even any house party, the host must consider all of these.
If we need to arrange a food party in the daytime during the month of Ramadan, Muslims won't be able to eat anything. In this case, I recommend serving food in a box. So, if anyone wants to eat right on the spot, they can eat it. Anyone who wants to take it home or away and eat it later can easily do it.
When we serve food, we should make a small note by mentioning main ingredients like beef, mutton, Fish, or Halal. We can also mention whether it is vegetarian or vegan.
If we can provide two kinds of food, Halal and vegan, then everybody will be able to enjoy it. Nonveg people can eat halal meat, and vegetarians can enjoy vegan food.
Again, everybody can enjoy the beverages with non-alcoholic drinks, like a mocktail.
Still, we should be careful about allergic items. That is why that tiny note in front of the food is important. You can mention that it has nuts or milk products, etc.
Professor Mahbubul Hauque from the University of Dhaka gave this kind of quiz in our first class long ago. We all failed. After a long time, I took this quiz in my class at Georga Brown College. Yes, all failed. Later, I explained why they failed.
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1.
What is your professor’s full name?
Ans:
2.
How many facilitators facilitate
today’s presentation?
Ans:
3.
What colors have been used in the
presentation?
Ans:
4.
How will you evaluate this
presentation?
Ans:
If you have completed
reading all the questions, please write down your name and submit the paper to
a facilitator.
After lunch, every afternoon, we four sisters used to play together. We used to make plans, prepare and execute a cultural function. It had dance, song, reciting poems, and many more. We had a program speaker and also a mini stage to perform. The audience was also us. I can tell you about the program, its quality was very good. Generally, my two younger sisters and I always danced and sang along with other items. My older sister never tried that. She knew how to play guitar, draw pictures, recite, and other staff. But singing and dancing wasn't her plate of food.
Now, who was the boss? Everyone. When everyone is boss, the program obviously ends with fighting with each other, mostly verbally, sometimes physically. The final ending happened with my mom. She couldn't sleep because of our big fighting noise. Well, she also became physical, too.
I try not to waste anything, especially food. A few days ago, I tried something new with cabbage by watching a recipe video. In that recipe, the chef squeezed the graded cabbage and asked to throw out the water.
I didn't like that. As chefs, they shouldn't say that. They must be encouraged to utilize any part of the food.
I kept the water. It was nutrient-rich from the cabbage. Later, I cooked rice with that water. Yes, I added more water, oil, salt, and lemon juice. The rice had a beautiful aroma and taste, and I didn't have to waste the water from the cabbage.
Invade Indigenous land.
The development of a Theory of change and the completion of a logic model
The problem is “Invading indigenous unseeded land or the
traditional territory.” This invasion by the Government or big corporations is
a big problem for Indigenous people and their lifestyle and also for the
environment.
The Canadian Government and Indigenous authority made a
contract or treaty that Indigenous people could live in a reserve land and
follow their own culture and norms. The land is dedicated to the Indigenous
people.
Initially, the reserved land given to indigenous people was unsuitable
for harvesting. But Indigenous people had no option. Later, these areas became
important for many natural resources. Many times in different indigenous
territories, the Canadian Government (sometimes on behalf of big corporations)
put highways, took water from the land, gave some company authority to check
for oil or other minerals, let them make pipelines, etc. These activities happened
without considering changes or destroying the ecosystem on indigenous land.
That’s why, for any activity on the reserved land, the Canadian Government
should obtain proper consent from the Indigenous leader of that land.
• What
are the factors that cause the problem?
Indigenous people are very aware of the protection of land
and nature. That’s why they are careful with natural resources. So, when
anything harms nature, indigenous people protest and try to protect it.
Sometimes, these projects take land, destroy water bodies,
and destroy flora and fauna, which directly impacts Indigenous people’s health.
Sometimes, human rights are not even respected during the project. For example,
Indigenous people lose their clean water supply or are affected by poisonous
chemicals.
Then, for years, they keep suffering, but no one is there to
stop those unhealthy projects.
• Is
there any data to support my analysis?
In 2018, there were 174 unsafe drinking water advisories in
over 100 First Nations communities. Short-term advisories warn residents of a
water quality issue on a certain water system. Long-term drinking water
advisories have been in place for more than one year. (Yenilmez, 2022)
With the stench of chemicals in the air, the students learned
of the striking impacts of airborne toxins and spills on the Aamjiwnaang First
Nation, as well as working-class Sarnia residents and industry workers. These
impacts are all too real for the Aamjiwnaang First Nation, which has higher
rates of asthma, cancer, miscarriages, stillbirths and other adverse
conditions. (Western Law, 2024)
• What
factors are you planning to address in my intervention?
I want to
create a law that no one can make any changes to the indigenous land without
the indigenous leaders of that land’s consent.
• What
are the related behaviours that I want to change?
To finalize any project on the reserved Indigenous land, one
must discuss it with the Indigenous people who are living on that land. They
have more knowledge about that land, and they live on it.
Target Group
• Who am I targeting?
The prime
minister. He, who can make this law.
• Why are
they my target group?
All parliament members are part of the Government and the
opposition group. They can bring and pass the legislation.
• What is
their status at this point in the project, vis-à-vis my issue?
I believe all levels of Government, from local to federal,
are involved in this issue. But if parliament passes this law, then everyone
will follow it.
• What
subgroup will be more likely to change their behaviour?
The big oil/mining companies may change their behaviour to
follow the law and start respecting indigenous suggestions. They might devise a
good solution that indigenous people will agree on, and the project might have
been done correctly.
• How do I expect to change their behaviour?
Now, it seems that the authority doesn’t care about
Indigenous people’s health or the climate. If we pass this law, they will be
bound to follow proper procedures to make a plan succeed. It will be suitable
for the environment and the Indigenous people who are living on that land.
References:
-
Yenilmez, S. (2022, July 26). Indigenous safe drinking water crisis in canada-
overview. The Indigenous Foundation. https://www.theindigenousfoundation.org/articles/indigenous-safe-drinking-water-crisis-in-canada-overview#:~:text=In%202018%2C%20there%20were%20174,for%20more%20than%20one%20year.
-
Toxic tour of Chemical Valley illustrates the impact of
environmental injustice on indigenous and working-class communities. Western
Law. (April 03, 2024). https://law.uwo.ca/news/2024/toxic_tour_of_chemical_valley_illustrates_the_impact_of_environmental_injustice_on_indigenous_and_workingclass_communities_.html
-
Box, C. T. (n.d.). Section 1. developing a logic model or theory of
change. Chapter 2. Other Models for Promoting Community Health and Development
| Section 1. Developing a Logic Model or Theory of Change | Main Section |
Community Tool Box. https://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/overview/models-for-community-health-and-development/logic-model-development/main
Majo Khala was my mom's second sister. My mom is in third place among sisters. My grandparents' maternal looks were very different. My grandma was a small, dark-skinned woman, and my grandpa was a tall, fair-skinned man. Mejo Khala was a small and dark-skinned woman, and my mom was fair and tall. My mom said that when people come to choose a bride, they often select my mom instead of mejo khala. It's a South Asian tradition that boys' parents visit the girl's home to see the girl, and if they like her, then the marriage proposal begins.
My older aunt (my mother's older sister) said mejo khala had a very cute face and dark curly hair, like a flower. But South Asian grooms like fair skin. So, my grandparents faced lots of problems for her marriage. So, when a rich family wanted to marry her, our grandparents became very happy and, like other parents, made a big mistake. They were pleased that they had got a groom from a big family, so didn't care to look for more information about the groom. So, in the end, my mejo khala suffered.
In South Asia, all families wanted their bride to work at home for everyone and take care of everything. They don't help her. They believe it's her duty, and she should be happy that she could become a bride of that family. People will be happy to see a mother holding a baby and doing work. No one will go and help her by holding the baby or doing the work.
Mejo khala had 2 sons and 2 daughters. Her daughters were twins. After having a baby, she couldn't find the time to care for her baby. She had to cook for the whole family. The babies used to cry all day. In the rain, they cry and try to crawl on mud to come to their mom. This is how one of my baby daughters became very sick and finally died.
My mejo khala couldn't take this anymore. She cried to her parents. Our grandparents took her back home. I must say they made a very strong decision about their daughter. In South Asia, parents never like to take their daughters back, no matter how much a girl suffers. She had to live with their in-laws.
Majo Khala started living with her parents, and no one in society liked that. Her own siblings also hurt her many times through words. But she was a quite nice lady by nature. She silently stayed and kept helping her parents and, many times, her siblings.
When I was born, my older sister became very sick. Doctors didn't have hope that she would be alive. My parents did everything that anyone suggested. In that situation, my mother didn't have time to look after me. So, my mojo khala came to our house and took care of me and the family. My mother said she couldn't save any of the girls if her sister didn't hold everything in strong hand and take care of me.
Later, she came to visit our house many times. She always brought homemade Bangladesh cake (Pitha) and fruits from her garden. Sometimes, she tried to make jokes with me, but I never understood them and became angry. I thought she was making fun of me.
She liked very spicy food. When she cooked, we had to remind her not to add spice.
When her older son started sending her money from Saudi Arabia, where he used to work, she became delighted. She started lending money to others. Everybody asked her to save money for her future.
She has been staying with her second son in the last few days. I pray to Allah to forgive her and give her Jannat, give her a peaceful after life.
