খুব বেশি চিন্তা করছি (Thinking too much)

খুব বেশি চিন্তা করছি আমি,

আমি খুব বেশি চিন্তা করছি.

 হয়তো বেশি চিন্তার কারনেই

সব চিন্তায় গোলমাল হয়ে যাচ্ছে 

সমাধানে আবার জোর করে সব চিন্তা 

মাথা থেকে বের করে দিচ্ছি

শুন্য  মাথা নিয়ে আবার চিন্তা করছি

এর আর কোন সমাধান নেই যেন

তবু আশা

একদিন সব ঠিক মত গুছিয়ে ফেলব

 

জীবনটাকে ঠিক মত গুছিয়ে নেব

হয়তো

সবাই আছে শুধু ভাবনায়

Thinking too much,
I am thinking too much.

 May be because of too much thinking
  everything becoming blur

 to solve this problem
by force myself to stop thinking about everything
 
then again with empty head

every thoughts are coming

May be there is no solution

 but I hope
everything will be OK
 I will summarize everything
  
 I will arrange everything well
 may be
 All are in my mind now...

Magic mosquito net

My previous ordinary mosquito net, photo credit: Shafeen

Mosquito and mosquito net are two very familiar words in Bangladesh. Especially in Dhaka city, inhabitants are use to deal with mosquito. At night very few people can think to sleep without mosquito net. Previously we uses normal mosquito net. If you ever use it, you may know inside this net ceiling fan’s air doesn’t go much, even not AC air. So, in this hot temperature we had to sleep inside it. Then I heard about the magic mosquito net. When my previous one tore I brought the magic mosquito net. Wow, I like it. Now ceiling fan’s or AC air gets entered well, I am very happy. It’s also been made in better qualities that not easily tear.

Our cricket team

When Bangladesh Cricket team gets test status, I stopped supporting other countries team. Even now a day I don’t like to see any cricket if Bangladeshi team isn't playing. First, we only hope and pray that our team should be able to make some score. Then this team gives us faith that they can win too with big teams. Obviously we start hopping that there is no looking back. But situation changed or never built. Now we only hope that our team shouldn't get lost badly… what situation they build for us!

The only thing we want from them is to try hard and never give up. Its cricket, game can be changed any minutes, just keep trying. Are we (Bangladeshi) asking too much?

দরকার ঝটপট রান্না (When you need quick cooking)

৪ পদ না হলে বাঙালির খাওয়া হয় না (ভাত, ডাল, শাক/সবজি, মাছ/গোশত). রান্নাতেও যথেস্ট সময় লাগে. তাই যখন কাজের চাপে রান্নায় সময় দেয়া যায়না, তখন দরকার ঝটপট রান্না. যেমনটা আমি গতকাল করলাম.

প্রথমে খাসির গোশতের চর্বি কেটে (২ কেজি) আলাদা করে ধুয়ে প্রেসার কুকারে দিলাম. এরপর একে একে ঢেরস (২৫০ গ্রাম) আর এককাপ ডাল ধুয়ে দিলাম. এবার দিয়ে দিলাম দরকারী সব মশলা (যা না হলে বাঙালির খাওয়া হয়না), পিয়াজ কুচি, রসুন কুচি, আদা মিহি কুচি, হলুদ গুড়া ৩ চা চামচ, জিরা গুড়া ৩ চা চামচ, ধনে গুড়া ৩ চা চামচ, লাল মরিচ গুড়া দেড় চা চামচ, গরম মশলা গুড়া ৩ চা চামচ আর লবন. তারপর পানি দিয়ে চুলায় বসিয়ে দিলাম. একবার সিটি বাজার পর আচ কমিয়ে ৫০ মিনিট রেখেছিলাম. এর মাঝে চলেছে ছেলেকে পাঠদান. নামানোর পর চেখে দেখলাম, খেতে বেশ হয়েছে :) 

Bangladeshi people can't eat food without four items (rice, lentils, vegetables, fish/meat). And traditional cooking is also very time consuming. So, when your work pressure is too high and you can't give time in cooking you need quick cooking. Like I did yesterday.

First I separated all fats from the mutton (2kg) then wash it and put it in a pressure cooker. Then I put into the pot ladies finger (250 gm) and lentils (1 cup). After that I had given all the common masala (without these Bangladeshi food can't be cooked). Like finely cut onion, garlic, zinger, turmaric powder 3 tea spoon, cumin powder 3 tea spoon, coriander powder 3 tea spoon, red chili 1.5 tea spoon, Garam masala powder 3 tea spoon and salt. Then given enough water and put it on the gas burner. After getting full pressure I turned the heat low and keep it like that for 50 minutes. While I was busy with my son's study. Finally I found it taste really good. Thanks to me :)

Problem with air suffocation

Photo credit: Shafeen

After buying AC, I had to cover all possible space from which AC air may lick (as much as possible). I have covered the ventilator and extra spaces of doors with board. It seems working fine. Now another problem arises. I can’t keep running my AC all day and night. It is only for bed time. Rest I had to live with ceiling fan. I can’t keep open my doors and windows for dust (can ignore for fresh air) and mosquito (it bites my son terribly). I have turned on liquate mosquito coil in room, but again can’t keep the door open. But for air suffocation I had to. And mosquitoes take this advantage.

How and with whom you should celebrate?

Shafeen enjoying himself

There are many big and small celebrations in our life. We want to enjoy it as much as possible. These are the colors of our life. Let me give you some tips about with whom and how you can celebrate these days.

In marriage anniversary, your all plan has to be with your spouse. It will be good if you could keep busy your kids with other thing and have some quality time with your spouse. You can take them out and give some gift. You can go to any memorable place related with your marriage. You can also make some food by your own hand. Give him/her a surprise… give only joy them (most of the Bangladeshi don’t care about it)

For father’s day and mother’s day, you should plan to enjoy with your father or mother. If possible try to bring all of your siblings and parents in one place to enjoy. It could be at your home or outside where you all have some memory. Give some gift to your father or mother (according to the day). If all can’t come together then you can give time alone with your parent. Taken them out and have some quality time, where you will talk only about their life.

Birthday celebration is world know event to enjoy. If a group of people are known to the birthday person, you can arrange a simple get together with all of you. If you want to celebrate it alone with the birthday person, then make some time when there won’t be any birthday program (may be afternoon) and take them out with you, alone you two can have some good time to enjoy the day. And a gift and cake is a must…

If you ask me did you enjoy this way. My answer is I want to and expect to… J

ব্যঙ্গ বিদ্রুপ না শোনাই ভাল (We better not listen jeered about ourselves)

কেও যখন আপনাকে নিয়ে ব্যঙ্গ বিদ্রুপ করে, আর আপনি যদি সেটা না বুঝেন, তাহলে খুবই ভাল. যে বলছে সে বলে মজা পাবে. যারা শুনছে তারা শুনে মজা পাবে. আর আপনি যেহেতু বুঝতে পারেননি আপনার মন খারাপও হচ্ছে না.

তবে আপনি যদি বুঝতে পারেন, তাহলেই সমস্যা. খুব খারাপ লাগবে আপনার. রাগে কিছু বলেও বসতে পারেন আপনি.

যদিও আমি সত্য পছন্দ করি. যত কঠিনই হোক না কেন আমি সত্য শুনতে পছন্দ করি. ভুল নিয়ে আমি বাস করতে চাইনা . তারপরও কারো ব্যঙ্গ বিদ্রুপ নিয়ে মন খারাপ করার চাইতে আমি না শুনে খাকতেই বেশি পছন্দ করব.

When people jeered on you, it will be great if you don't hear about it. Then they who jeered will be happy that they jeered with you. Other people will be happy that they are having please by listening and it won't hurt you, because you didn't understand it.

But the problem is when you understood it. It will break your hurt. Even you may say same about others in angry mood.

Though, I like to live with the truth. No matter how hard it is, I will like to know it. I don't want to stay will lie. But when people jeered, it breaks my hurt. I better not listen any of these. Let me live happy.

Shafeen took this picture to see his sleeping face

Photo credit: Shafeen

When I was a kid, I was also very curious to know, how I am look like while sleeping. I remember, I close my eyes then wanted to see me (by keeping little open) in front of mirror. Now a day, digital time is going on. My son was also very curious to know how he looks while sleeping. So, he closes his eyes and took picture with my cell phone to see exactly how he looks. He was just 3 years and 1 month old on those days.

I have increased my tolerance level

I and my son

Everyone has some patience level. Most of the people think, including me, we have enough patience. And day by day it’s growing. I can measure that…

Previously when I sit with my son to help (or make him study) in study, I use to shout; sometimes I couldn't stop myself to hit him. But now, I have increased my patience level. Now a day I keep saying gently to write to my son…

I usually don’t allow bad comments in my blog or FB status. Previously I use to block those persons that they won’t be able to disturb anymore. But now a day I tolerate them as much as possible… unless they attack me badly that I can’t hold myself to delete their comment… Then I stop answering them… finally if they continue hurting me (with their words) I delete them. Then no matter what they say or do, I don’t have to see that.

ভুল করে সুন্দর কল্পনা নিয়ে মেতে উঠি (mistakenly I became happy with nice dream)

মনটা সব সময়ই চায় আমি খুব সুখে, আনন্দে থাকি। তাই তো যখনই ফুরসত পায়, তখনই একটা সুন্দর সময় কল্পনা করে। যা হয়তো কখনই হবে না, হওয়া সম্ভবও না। তারপরও মন আমাকে খুশি করার চেষ্টা করে। আমিও খেয়াল না করেই সেই কল্পনা নিয়ে আনন্দে মেতে উঠি। যখনই বুঝতে পারি, আমি বাস্তবে নেই, সাথে সাথেই জোর করে মনটা বোঝাই, এসব ভেবে লাভ নেই। বরং বাস্তবে থাক, সত্য যা হচ্ছে-হবে তার সাথে থাক। এতেই বরং কষ্ট কম হবে। এতেই বরং আর মন ভাংবে না। (যদিও মন বলতে থাকে, কল্পনাটাও তো খুব সুন্দর ছিল)

My mind always wants to make me happy. So, whenever it gets chance, makes sweet, nice, romantic dreams, which will never come true, or can’t be true. But to make me happy, my mind creates it. First I don’t realize it and start enjoying it. Whenever I understood I am in dream, I try to make my mind realize that it doesn’t worth at all. It’s better to live in the real world, with real truth. So, reality will never break my heart. (Though my mind keep saying, the dream was also very enjoyable). 

My rolling chair

Broken chair. Photo credit: Shafeen

After starting work with computer, I had an aim, which I will buy everything (all equipment related with computer) one after another with my salary. First my dad bought me computer, then I added, scanner, printer, table and rolling chair. I bought the chair from Otobi and then bring it in a rickshaw all by myself. I used it for years. Even my son liked it too. But everything has an ending. One day, it broken by my brother. Now my son looked at this picture and asked me, please buy me a chair like this. As usual I replied, OK.

Is this person look like them?

When you like someone, when you wish someone to stay beside you, no matter where you go you will always feel and see someone and will think, is it them, who suddenly go there for any reason and you found them? May be someone looks little bit like them… and your heart sank, is it them? NO, actually life isn’t that easy…. They will be always in your mind, as long as you keep them over there…

মাথাব্যাথা শুরু হলে আর কোন কাজ করার উপায় নেই (When the headache starts, no work can be done properly)

মাথা ব্যাথা শুরু হলে তখন আর কোন কিছু নিয়ে চিন্তা করা যায় না। একমাত্র চিন্তা এই ব্যাথা কখন ভাল হবে। ১০ মিনিট করে করে মাঝে মধ্যে রেস্ট নিয়ে দেখলাম, যাচ্ছে না। এই যন্ত্রনায় অনেক কাজের কথাও ভুলে যাচ্ছি। আমাকে ব্যাংকে যেতে হবে, কি সব কাগজ পত্র ঠিক করতে (নিজেরা গোলমাল করে এখন আমাকে দিয়ে দৌড়াদৌড়ি করাচ্ছে)। আরও কিছু কাজ আছে। মনে থাকলে একটা একটা করে শেষ করবো। না হলে আর কি... যা হবার হবে।

When the headache starts, I can’t think about anything else, only how to get rid of this pain. Today I took 10 minutes rest many times, but still, it’s there. Because of this trouble, I am forgetting many of my important work. I have to go to the Bank (they made some trouble, now I have to run with papers to make them correct). There are some other important work in my “to do” list. If I can remember I will try to complete one after another. Otherwise, what I can say let it happen what has to be happened.

Dim light at bed time

Photo credit: Shafeen

In my room I have two lights. One is tube light, which is connected with the IPS. Another one is energy savings light. I need both. Now I need another light holder for a dim light. Because I had to check my son at night how he is sleeping, is he sweating, is there any mosquito biting him etc. Now, I am using the energy savings light. In this light its difficult makes my son fall in sleep, unless he sleeps by himself. I wish I could manage a dim light. Then under mosquito net, I can sleep well with my son.

As a parent

When you became parent, you are not just giving birth of a child. You started building the kid’s life. If you make one mistake, your kid’s life can be destroyed. For your one good step, your kid can have a tremendous life.

Sometime we the parents don’t care to show our love to our kid. We think we are doing hard work to build their life, they will understand automatically that we love them a lot. Yes, they will, but they won’t learn how to love other, how to show their sweet affection, not to you too. They might look rude always.

When we go outside, we let them play independently. But we always should keep an eye on them. Sometimes while playing, they might make big mistake and get injured, which may cause trouble for the rest of their life.

In Bangladesh, from very beginning of educational life, we start giving pressure on our kid; don’t care about their little life, little happiness, and little freedom. Actually we are destroying their childhood. After grownup when they will think about their childhood, they will scare. Moreover, we are damaging their brain permanently. Afterwards, they will forget how to think out of the box or showing their creativity.

When we choose their educational path, some may think, my kid is not good in math, I better make them study in arts (where the kid might like and understand science very much). We should remember Einstein wasn’t good in math too. Once we made this mistake your kid has to handover on many subjects that they might are very good.

Some parents don’t give all vaccine to their kids on time, sometimes because of laziness, sometimes in fear of side effect or many other reasons. Just think, (may Allah not do so) if the kid get effected by those virus, then what will you do? Do you want to let suffer your kid?

আমাদের শহরের জন্য পাতাল রেল এখন অবশ্য প্রয়োজন (we desperately need underground rail)

Shafeen on the road at Dhaka

আগে এই শহরে বিনোদনের একটা অংশ ছিল রিক্সা ভ্রমন। ইচ্ছা হলে কেউ এক ঘন্টার জন্য রিক্সা ভাড়া করে শহরে সুন্দর সুন্দর রাস্তায় বেড়াতে বের হতে পারত। টোনাটুনিদের জন্য ছিল অনেক সহজ এক সময় কাটানোর উপায়। কেউ বৃষ্টিতে ভিজতে চাইলেও রিক্সার হুট ফেলে ঘোরার কথা ভাবতে পারত। কিন্তু এই কথা এখন ভাবাও যায়না। কোন কাজে রাস্তায় যেতে হবে মনে হলেও জ্বর আসে। কারন রাস্তা মানেই জ্যাম, ঘন্টার পর ঘন্টা গরমে বসে থাকা।

এই মুহূর্তে সাধারন মানুষের চলাচলের জন্য পাতাল রেলের আর বিকল্প নেই। আমি জানিনাহ ঢাকার মাটি পাতাল রেলের জন্য উপযোগী কিনা। কিন্তু এই বিশাল জনসমুদ্র সামলানোর জন্য আমার এখনই পাতাল রেলের বিষয়ে কাজ করা শুরু করা উচিত।

Once, for recreation people of thiscity could think to hire a rickshaw for an hour and tour inside the city on beautiful roads. Love birds also use to make dating by traveling with rickshaw. In rain people (who likes rain) could took rickshaw and enjoy raining…. Those days has gone. Now, we could think to travel when we need for any work. Otherwise nobody will like to stay on traffic jam for hours...

For public transport we desperately need underground rail. I don’t know whether our soil is ready or not.

There are some difference between boys and girls

Dia and Shafeen playing with cars

Generally girls play with dolls, kitchen accessories, long cloths (share, orna) etc. And boys like cars, airplane, balls, guns etc. In our home Dia had two cousins who are boys (Tameem and Shafeen). So, Dia plays with them with cars, guns etc. And when she is alone in her room, she plays with her kitchen set. Kids are all same, but still you can see differences between boys and girls.

You are using clean road because someone else didn’t make it dirt

photo credit: Shafeen

Most of the inhabitants of this mega city Dhaka are from outside of Dhaka. And among them, most of them are from very rural area. Where they didn't have to face any city problem and didn't have to maintain city life. I mean there are some extra cares you need to take in your work in city life. These people came in the city, then rent or buy flat and start their city life…

In Dhaka there are many roads which are very narrow that only 1 or 2 car can pass carefully. For nearby work place you may like to walk on those roads. And while walking you will face, someone may dropped house hold dirt or kitchen dirt on the road, they might became rotted. You have to always careful with every footstep, and also which are coming from upwards. Suddenly you might find someone threw egg shells or chicken bone on your head. What it is? You are not in rural area anymore that you can throw anything anywhere. You have to use dustbin for dirt. Windows are not for throwing dirt.

They might think, they don’t use that road or road cleaner will clean the road once, so they can do this kind of attitude regularly. Listen carefully. When you use a clean road, you feel good. And remember, it was clean because I didn’t throw any dirt over there. Be clean, not inside your home. Also the road you or others use. 

অপেক্ষা করে করে... (After waiting long....)

এদেশের মানুষের সময় জ্ঞান নিয়ে আমার অনেক অভিযোগ আছে। বন্ধুদের এই কুঅভ্যাস দূর করতে আমি বেশ শক্ত মন নিয়ে কাজ করতাম। ওদের যদি বলতাম ৪.৩০ এ দেখা করবে, ৪.৩১ এসেও আর আমাকে পেত না। বাধ্য হয়েই ওরা সব সময়, সময়ের আগেই চলে আসত। অনেকে খুব মন খারাপ করে বলত, আর ১০টা মিনিটও কি অপেক্ষা করা যেত না? আমি বলতাম, তুমি ১০টা মিনিট আগেই রওনা হতে..। আমাকে কেন অপেক্ষা করাবে?

I really don’t like the attitude on timing of this country people. To stop this bad habit I was very strict with my friends. If I said I will meet with you at 4:30, nobody will find me after 4:31. That’s why people use to come before time when they had any work with me. Some really got dishearten, they said, can’t you wait for 10 more minutes? I replied, why didn’t you start 10 minutes early, why you expect me to wait?

ফলাফল হলো, অনেকেই মন থেকে বদ দোয়া দিলেন। নাহ কেউ আমাকে বলেনি, আমার পরবর্তী জীবন থেকেই বুঝেছি। আমি যখন কাউকে ভালবাসতে শুরু করলাম, তার জন্য সে কি অপেক্ষা। ঘন্টার পর ঘন্টা...। লোকজন অবাক হয়ে আমাকে দেখতো কিভাবে এতক্ষন অপেক্ষা করছে। মাঝে মাঝে চোখ দিয়ে টপ টপ পানি পড়ত। কিছুতেই আটকাতে পারতাম না। কখনও কখনও অপেক্ষার পরও দেখা করতো না। কিন্তু যার জন্য এই পানি সে এটা খুব সহজ ভাবেই নিল। প্রেমে পড়েছো, এখন কষ্ট করো। এ আর এমন কি।

As a result, some people curse me badly. Well no body told me, but I understood it from my next level of life. When I start loving someone, I had to wait for him for hours. Sometimes other people looked at me strange, that I couldn’t stop my tears while waiting. Even more, sometimes after waiting this long, he didn’t come to meet with me. That person took everything very easy. It’s like you fall for me, now you have to have some pain, its natural.

কিন্তু সময় আমার মন এখন অনেক শক্ত করে দিয়েছে। এখন আর কোন কিছুর জন্যই অপেক্ষা করিনা। কষ্ট পেয়ে আর কিছু শিখি না শিখি, নিজের মতো চলা শিখে গিয়েছি। যদি কেউ বলে, মার্কেটে অমুক সময়ে আসব। ভাল, আমি আমার মতো গিয়ে, শপিং করে চলে আসি। নির্দিস্ট সময়ে আসলে ভাল, যোগ দিতে পারবে, না হলে আরও ভাল। আমি নিজেই নিজের মতো ঘোরাঘুরি করে চলে যাব। যার তার জন্য অপেক্ষা? আর না আর না..।

But time gave me some lessons too. Now I don’t wait for anyone. If anyone says, they will come to join me in market; I go to the market, do some shopping then came back. If that person meets with me then fine, we will enjoy time together, if not then even better. I will enjoy my shopping in my own way.

Sea, I like its water…

I don’t know why I like water so much. When I was a kid, my mom said, I used to cry if they didn’t let me wash clothes and clean dishes. I liked those works because I could touch water as much as I wanted. My first visit to the sea was the Red Sea. I asked my parents many times to let me go into the water. They never agreed…

After that, my uncle took me with him to see The Bay of Bengal. Again, he didn't let me go into the water. He was afraid that if anything happened to me, his sis would kill him. But my aunt finally came to help me. She said, “Go into the water, I will talk with your uncle, you don’t have to be afraid of anyone. Just enjoy. I am here”. For the first time, I go into the sea water… What a feeling. On those days, I was studying in class 10.

Sometimes Man understands woman’s problem

In our country there are some pains of a woman which man never wants to understand. Like the pain given to his wife by his family. They say, make compromise, sacrifice, be noble, have patient etc. If you ask them to do same (listen bad words from your parent, face many difficulty in many ways) they will never agree.

Sometimes you will feel that he is not getting your point. But you will notice, what they want about their own baby girl. They will say, they will never give their girl’s marry to a family where the boy live with his mom. They don’t want any mother in law for their own kid. Guess why….

Again some will say they will bring a son in law at his house and keep his daughter in front of his eye… why? Actually they can see some problem but don’t want to bring you out from it, because they want their own benefit only… not yours.

টিভি এ্যাড দেখে মনে হয়, এই চরিত্র আমি প্রায়ই দেখি (After watching a TV AD I felt we see this kind of person often)

টিভিতে একটা এ্যাড দেখায়, বল দিয়ে জানালার কাঁচ ভেংগে ফেলায় প্রথমে রাগারাগী, তারপর যখন দেখে ছেলেটা তার নিজের, তখন সাথে সাথে ঐ একই কাজ প্রশংসার পরিনত হয়। এ্যাডটা যখনই দেখি তখনই মনে হয় এই ধরনের মানুষ আমার খুব পরিচিত। হরহামেশায় এদের দেখি।

যেমন দেখবেন, যার বাচ্চা দিন রাত অকারনে চিৎকার করে বাড়ি মাথায় করে, সে অনের বাচ্চার বক বক সহ্য করতে পারে না। তখন তার বিরক্ত দেখে কে...। নিজের বাচ্চা যতই জিনিস পত্র নষ্ট করুক, অন্যের বাচ্চা চঞ্চলতা সহ্য হয় না। নিজের বাচ্চা লাফালাফি করলে খুব খুশি, আহা বাচ্চাটা কত খুশি হয়ে খেলছে। অন্যের বাচ্চা লাফালে মাথা নষ্ট। নিজের বাচ্চা কারনে বা কারন তৈরি করে (কোন ভাবে খেপিয়ে) মারামারি করলেও ঠিক আছে। অন্যের বাচ্চা কেন আমার বাচ্চাকে মারবে?

আমরা এমনই। নিজের বাচ্চার দোষ ঢাকতে বা এমনিতেই অন্যের বাচ্চার কি কি খারাপ সেই গুনগান গাই, সবার কাছে তার কাজ দেখার আগেই তাকে খারাপ বানিয়ে দেই।

কেমন লাগবে, এই একই কাজ অন্যে যদি করে আপনার সাথে?

In TV we see an AD; a person became very mad when a ball broke their window glass. Suddenly that tone changed after knowing that the kid (who throne the ball) is their own. Whenever I see this AD, I felt I see this kind of person often.

For example, you will see whose kid always scream, they can’t tolerate other’s kid’s talkative attitude. They became very disturbed with other kids. The kids who always massacre household things, they can’t tolerate other’s kid’s fast movement. People take is happily that their kid is jumping everywhere and playing, they will say their kid is healthy and playing happily. If other kids do so, “oh their parent didn't teach anything”. When your own kids fight with other kid for reason or by making any reason (sometimes they push others to make a fighting) then its find, kid did the right thing. But no one can hit my kid.

We are just like that. To hide own kid mistake we say many things about other’s kid. We make bad impression about them. What will you do, if other does same with you?

Shafeen and basket

Shafeen playing inside his basket

Shafeen playing with nanu’s basket

Shafeen (my son) likes basket. If possible he put himself in it. He also like things which are in the basket. His regular job is to take his nanu’s (grandmother maternal) basket (where nanu use to keep her useful small things) and play with the things in it. I use to keep his toys inside a basket. Then I found everyday he drops all the toys on floor several times and sit in it. Now I clear my bookshelf for him and keeping his toys in it. It had given me, a better situation.

Shafeen’s movie choice

Shafeen watching the movie “Planes”

This year Shafeen (my 5 years old son) has seen 4 animation movies. They are

1. Planes (he liked this)

2. Monster’s University (he liked it most)

3. Frozen (he liked this too)

4. Thor (partly seen, didn't like at all)

Among those Shafeen liked most is Monster’s University (2013), so do I, though I didn't watch any of these completely. I have to make time and see those some other day. Then can say correctly. 

গানটা আগে ঠিক বুঝতে পারিনি (Couldn't realize the song)

"যে ছিল দৃষ্টির সীমানায়

সে ছিল হৃদয়ের আঙ্গিনায়

সে হারালো কোথায় কোন দূর অজানায়

সেই চেনা মুখ কতদিন দেখিনি

তার চোখে চেয়ে সপ্ন আকিনি"

আমি ছোট থাকতে বিটিভিতে প্রায়ই এই গানটা বাজাতো। তখন কিছুতেই এই গানের অর্থ বুঝতে পারিনি। যে ছিল সে চলে গেছে, তার সাথে আর যোগাযোগ নেই। মনে হতো সে হয়তো কোন কিছু না জানিয়ে চলে গেছে, আর তার মিস করে এই গান। 

এখন মনে হয় গানটার অর্থ হয়তো আরো কিছু, খানিকটা বুঝলেও, আমি এখনও পুরোপুরি বুঝতে পারিনি...। ইদানিং মাথায় ঘুরছে এই গান।

"je chhilo drishtir shimanae 

she chhilo hridoyer aanginae 

she haralo kothae kon door ojanae 

shei chenamukh kotodeen dekhini  

tar chokhe cheye shopno akini "

When I was a kid, I heard this song on Channel BTV many times. I didn't understand the lyrics. Why this song? As far as I could get is someone has gone without informing, and other person is missing them.

Now, this song is running in my mind. I felt, maybe I didn't get the song at all. Actually it is saying something more than I felt previously. And may be still I didn't get that totally.

Gift is always fun

Shafeen with his birthday gift

If you like gift then you must like your birthday. I mean the gift day. I and my son wait for our birthday every year. As my one as at the beginning of the year I don’t need wait much. But my son had to wait for 12 months, because his birthday at December. And all of our family members also collect gifts (basically toys as he demands). So it became a very big fun day. You can see that on his face. All waits for my cooking ( J ) good day for them too, and me? If everyone is happy, I am happy too. Then we understood my work (arrangement) became successful.

For few people’s hard work, we all get benefited

Whenever you want to do anything, first you have to think what worse effect can happen with it. There is a saying “Hope for the best and prepare for the worse”. We face this mostly in our career. If you step any wrong step, you might face big problem. Then in student life, you can’t say or do just anything, you have to keep in mind about your academic life. Finally we had to alert for political reason. You can’t just say anything what you felt or faced. You can’t take risk to ruin you and your family’s life.

But still there are some people who stand up without fearing anything. Sometimes they had to pay it with their life. Most of the time we all get benefit of their work, without knowing how we got it and who paid for this. They are the heroes. I respect them.

আমি কিভাবে যেন একরাতের জন্য পেয়ে গেলাম

বিয়ের পর একটা মেয়ের জীবনের অনেক কিছু বদলে যায়‍‌ সে চাইলেও তার পুরানো জীবনে ফেরত যেতে পারেনা. আমি কিভাবে যেন একরাতের জন্য পেয়ে গেলাম.

আমার ছেলে বাড়িতে থাকতে থাকতে বিরক্ত হয়ে গিয়েছে. তাই একরাতের জন্য বেড়াতে গেল. আমি সন্ধ্যা থেকে সকাল পর্যন্ত একা কাটালাম. মন থেকে জোর করে সব দুশ্চিন্তা দূর করে দিলাম. মন্দ কাটেনি. সকালে ছেলে চলে এলো. পরের দিন রাতে এক মজার সপ্ন দেখলাম. আমি যেন বিয়ের আগের সময়ে চলে গিয়েছি. কে যেন একটা কাল মোটর সাইকেলে করে আমার সাথে দেখা করেছে. তার চোখে দেখলাম আমার জন্য গভীর প্রেম. সত্যি বলতে কি, ব্যাপারটা আমার বেশ ভাল লাগছিল. বাসায় আমার বাবাকেও দেখলাম (আব্বা এখন আর নেই আমাদের মাঝে). ঘুম ভাঙ্গার পরও অনেকক্ষন বেশ ভাল লাগার মাঝে ছিলাম. কি অদ্ভুত!