Biography 61: The Padma river

 When we were in Saudi Arabia, my mom told me about The Padma river. It's a very big river in Bangladesh. The colour of this river is muddy. My grand parent's (Maternal) house was in Faridpur. If we wanted to visit Faridpur from Dhaka, we had to cross the river by ferry or launch (Very small ships). When people wanted to cross the river by sitting in a bus or car, they took the ferry. It is bigger and safer. But it took a long time to cross the river. So, an alternative option is a launch.  Here people will leave their bus on one side of the river, then had to cross the river by launch and take another bus from another side. It takes less time and money. But passengers had to carry their bags and baggage by themselves from the bus to launch and then launch to the bus. The river was so big that during the crossing in the middle we came to a point where we can't see any land around us. You will feel you are in an ocean. Little wind could make big waves in the river.

As I told you earlier, every year we used to visit Bangladesh and including Faridpur. Every year while crossing the river I had waited for that moment. Then there won't be any land around us. But last 2 times I couldn't find that moment. I felt like it's a channel, not a river. It doesn't have enough water. What happens to this river. After grown up I get to know, the water flow has been stopped from the upper side of the river from our neighbour country, India. So, the river became much smaller. What can we do, when the river is in their side, they can utilize the water as they wanted. But it is making some natural disaster.

Now we have the bridge on this river. I am sure this will help businesses and also general people to cross the river easily. Also, this could be a good tourist spot. But the thrill of crossing the river has gone permanently.

Decisions

 I like to listen to everyone before I take any decision. Then I will make my own. I got influenced several times by others. Whether it is right or wrong, I own my decision. I never blame anyone. Maybe I said in a joke, that "you said that..." but I really don't accuse anyone.

In most cases, I found that the decision I took longer to think to pick the correct one, was wrong. But I tried my best. 

When I make decisions in anger or without thinking just in a second, I found them right actually.

This proves, how stupid I am. Only destiny is helping me to survive. I actually don't have any quality.

Saskatchewan VS Ontario: 3

 When we were living in Saskatchewan, we always felt winter only knows how to enter. Then never leave. It's like 10 months of winter. 

After moving to Ontario. I'm feeling it has a never-ending heat weave. It just started and going on. It won't finish ever.  I had no idea, how Canada has this kind of weather? The North Pole is in our country, right?

Biography 60: New apartment in Bangladesh

 After a couple of years living in Saudi Arabia, our parents decided to come back to Bangladesh permanently. Now I think, that wasn't a wise decision. They could have a much better career and good life.

While we were in Saudi, my dad took help from his friend. Through his friend, he bought land in Dhaka to settle. We never heard of that place before, but it was near Matijhil Commercial Area.

First, we rented an apartment to live near our land. So, that our parents can look after the construction work of our new home. The apartment was in 4 storied building and we started living at level 3. My Bangladeshi life started from this home.

Our landlord was a lawyer. In that area, everyone uses to say, lawyer's house. Just beside our house, a very popular movie comedian lived. He was the brother of our landlord. Later the movie star's family became our family friends. They were such a nice family.

This house was near to a school. I am and my older sister studied in that school till grade 4. Still, I have friends connected on FB from this school.

I remember one day I broke the sink in the dining room. It was a small sink to wash hands. I was very scared. Because I put my leg on it to wash and then... you know. But the landlord smiled at me and said it's OK. The next day he put a new one.

In those days, in Dhaka city, we didn't have many high-storied buildings. So, we could view "Baitul Mokarram" from the roof of our apartment. And also the Kamalapur Railway station. Hearing the rail's noise was very common.

Around us, we had big trees. Most of them are from our neighbours. But it made the apartment look very beautiful. Now all trees are gone and there is no free space around that building. All space is captured by the high-rise apartments. It's a requirement of a Megacity. Can't deny it.

Shafeen's page on Facebook

I want to share my son's page with you. I don't know how long I can be with him. You never know, right. But I want my good wishes to be with him. I want him to feel his mom's friends are there to be with him if needed.

Shafeen's page 

https://www.facebook.com/Syed-Ali-Shafeen-1241548329229959

Biography 59: Air Conditioner

 In Umlej (Saudi Arabia) when we moved to the new home, we have got an AC in our master bedroom. This was from our landlord. They kept it because they needed to fix their new house. For a couple of months, we enjoyed it.

Then one day the landlord came and took the AC away. My father put a hardboard to cover up the wall. Then we stopped sleeping inside that room. We found our living room is cooler than other rooms. So, my parents started using that room as a bedroom.

I really didn't like the landlord's attitude. They had enough money to let us use their old AC. Still, I don't understand why our current landlord isn't providing us with an AC.

Why should we get married?

 I thought I will never get married. After growing up I realize, it's really very difficult to stay unmarried in Bangladesh. Then I thought I will marry, but there must be a purpose. I mean because of my marriage something good should happen.

Now I realize, to get married the only thing you need is love. Not just likeness. When you love someone and that person also loves you, no matter what problems come, you guys can fix it or remove it or just ignore it.

Biography 58: Kite

One day In Bangladesh, I had held the kite roller. That's my only experience with the Kite. We were visiting Bangladesh from Saudi Arabia. One noon I went to my next door to call my cousin brother to come to take the lunch. I saw he was standing on the roof, made of tin. In his hand, he had the kite roller and the kite was in the sky. He saw me and asked, would you like to fly a kite. I said, YES. He let me hold the small roller. I hold it, I felt the kite is trying to get away. The roller started moving and the kite is going up. I asked him, should I let it go like this? He replied it's your choice. 

Suddenly a few drops of water fall on us. We understood the rain is coming. My brother told me to fold the kite, we have to bring it down. I tried, but because of wind or I don't know how to do that, the kite was moving up. My brother took it from me, then I saw how he managed. He pulls the roller and keeps rolling inside. I don't know how to do it, but he managed within few minutes. Then we went home to take lunch.

This was the first and last time I have flown a kite, well kind of.

I'm tired

 It's really difficult to keep your confidence up when one after another negative thing happening to you. To make yourself feel better you can look outside, you will see, there are many people, who are suffering much more than you. Yeah, this can help you to boost your energy up to keep going.

I don't compare myself or my life to anyone. I just want to keep trying to make it better. If I didn't succeed I will say to myself, yes I tried. Rest depends on Allah.

I pray to Allah wherever things I need, please give it to me, whether I deserve it or not.

It hurts when deep inside you are trying something and didn't get it. No matter how much counselling you do to yourself to put a bandage on the wound.

I'm tired. Both physically and mentally.

Biography 57: Visiting Mecca and Madinah

Once in a year, before visiting Bangladesh, my parents used to visit Mecca and Madinah. We had to make a long drive from Umlez (Saudi Arabia). And I always utilized the time by lying down and sleeping in the back seat.

I didn't know those are two cities. I knew when I visit big Masjeeds and sometimes in the middle I found the Kaba and sometimes not (In Madinah). Those masjeeds were lightened up so nicely that I could never realize whether it is day or night.

The masjeeds were always very clean. I have seen the cleaning team continuously cleaning the masjeeds. The floor is fully covered with carpets. People can stand anywhere and say prayers. At the bottom of every pillar or after some space, there were water containers. After some periods, the authority puts frozen Zamzam water in it. So that people can drink chilled Zamzam water anytime.

I was a kid when I had visited the Masjeeds, I felt like its a huge space. We just had to walk and walk and it never ends.

In the Masjeed, where I didn't see the Kaba, I have seen a Green Dome (Gambuj). When my parents use to pray, I looked at it and said "Durood Shareef". My mom taught once, I always did to show honour and respect to the Messenger of Allah.

I liked the Hotels in Mecca and Madinah. Whenever we went out and returned after a while we found the room service cleaned and put everything properly. The decoration is very modern and has high qualities. Through the windows, we could view the cities and hills.

I liked the street food very much in these cities. Mostly the bread, which is cut down in the middle and they put chicken and tomatoes inside it.

I wish someday I will go with my son and show him everything. I want him to enjoy the place the way I did.

Ontario apartments should provide an Air Conditioner

 It's been weeks that we, the residence of Ontario, Canada are facing heat warnings. I really surprise to see that in Ontario, the apartment owners don't provide any AC. Here, Tenants have to buy AC if they feel needed. Also, they have to maintain the rules and regulations, like, how that AC will be, how it will be fitted in the wall and also pay bills for it.

In Saskatchewan, every apartment has an AC in the living area. So, if tenants want they can run it. On hot days they can sleep in that room too.

Ontario government should consider this too. If apartments can't provide central AC, they should provide one AC in the living room. Tenants will pay the electric bills as much as they use it.

During the heatwave, many Ontarians die. and almost all of them don't have any AC at home.

Biography 56: Visiting Bangladesh

Our parents visited Bangladesh from Saudi Arabia every year. They use to bring gifts for everybody. They enjoyed the Eid-Ul_Fitr in Bangladesh. I'm guessing that was the longest holiday they used to get from Saudi Government.

I didn't like this at all. I used to live in Saudi, Bangladeshi environment was totally different. In Saudi, we always drink cold water from the refrigerator. In those days, in Bangladesh, refrigerators were not available in every home. So, they use to give me drink normal room temperature water. In Bangladesh, room temperature is also high. So, I couldn't drink water. In my maternal grandparent's house, they give me water from the mud-made pots. They said this is a cold one. I didn't think so, but somehow I could manage to drink it. The only water I used to drink on those days is green coconut water.

I liked goat milk in my grandparent's house (Maternal). I use to ask them to give me "Chhagoler Dudh" (Goat milk). They all laughed at me. I don't know why. But my aunt uses to give me it, I was happy with it.

As I told you, we visited every year. Each year I found some people became bigger, some stopped talking, some new people started talking with me. I was thinking, why don't they stay the same.

I remember, in Bangladesh people uses to visit us to see me, how I talk, how I do things, whatever I do they found it interesting. I kind of enjoyed it and sometimes felt annoyed too. It's not a kind of celebrates feelings, it's like you became a joke to the people. Sometimes my relatives ask me, do you know who I am. Obviously, I don't know any of them. But they look a little familiar to me. So, I replied I can recognize your face, but I don't know who you are to me. they laughed. 

The fly was asking for help

In the morning, Shafeen said, a fly came inside the house. I told Shafeen if possible try to make it fly away through the verandah. Shafeen said, they just know how to get inside but go away outside.

I was sitting on a chair in the dining room. The fly came in front of me and stand near my nose in the air. I asked so you want to go outside? The fly stayed the same place. I stand up and walk toward the balcony. It followed me I have opened the net door. I think it scared and trying to go back inside. I said It's OK, Just fly away and  I moved my hand to point it at the balcony. It flew away through the balcony.

Hmm, sometimes you just have to listen and try to understand. Maybe silently, someone, who doesn't know your language is trying to say something to you.

Biography 55: An old market

 In Umlez (Saudi Arabia) sometimes, my parents take us to an old market. The market is made of mud-made stores. The shopkeepers are aged men. Their products look very simple. I had never seen a crowd or many people in that market. Mostly the shopkeepers are talking and gossiping with each other and take tea.

I like their products. Those are handmade, traditional and very beautiful. My mom chooses a dress. It was a frock for the newborn to 1-year-old girls. It was a very beautiful dress. Light orange colour with cross-stitch work on it. In those days, mom didn't know whether she will have a baby girl or a boy. So, she didn't buy it.

Later when Shekha, my youngest sister get born. She went to the market and bought that dress for her. Even in a couple months that dress didn't sell. I don't know how those people run that market.

This is not my circus

 At work, I never bind myself with my job description. If I found, things needed to be done, I did. I didn't show up that work to anyone. I felt, if the company does well, it will be good for everyone and clients will also get benefited from it.

The exception is, if my company doesn't want me to do more, sometimes the immediate supervisor doesn't want me to do extra. I stopped, mostly.

Then I looked at others and say in my mind, "These are not my monkeys and this is not my circus." If they want to make themselves down, I better let them.

Biography 54: "Chhele Dhora" the boy abductor

 In Umlez (Saudi Arabia) Teena (My friend) and I used to stay at home and both of our parents were busy with full-time jobs. I was with my youngest sister too. She was a couple of months old. Our parents had no other choice but to keep us alone at home for the whole day.

During the lunch break, my mom and Teena's parent used to come back home and feed us. Because their work place was in the same block. They knew this is not safe for anyone. So, they always told us that there are some "Chhele Dhora"/ The man who abduct boys (kids), in this area. So, we better not leave home and always play inside the home.

I don't remember how much I believe those stories. But we figured out that Boy's abductor means the man who kidnaps boys, not girls. We are all girls. So, we don't have to worry. Actually, we didn't worry about anything. We play inside or beside our houses for the whole day.

We never go far away except one day. One day, I thought why not discover nearby areas. I don't know how they look. So, I was holding my youngest sister and walked out from the block. After walking couple of minutes, I realize I forgot the path to return home. Suddenly I felt cold in the sun. I looked at my youngest sister, she was smiling and happy as usual. I smiled back. Then turn around and start walking back. After some time I found the path to enter our block. I walk through the path and returned home. I felt so scared that I never try this kind of thing in Umlez again.

I always felt difficulty in remembering the path. In Canada, now day, when I figure out the patterns of the road, I can easily remember the way. Good for me, I don't need to take help from Google Maps much.

Online school

 In Canada, most people don't like online schooling. They have their own reason. Today I would like to give my personal opinion.

I like online schooling. Previously, I had to hear complaints about my son from the class teacher that he doesn't concentrate in the class regularly. He plays and sometimes makes noises. I have counselled so many times but my son didn't improve his nature.

When he started online schooling, I was present with him in a different room. Whenever I found him making noise, I asked him to stop. He couldn't run away from classwork, because, I told him if you don't complete the tasks, he can't play games with his friends.

Within few days, my son became the first to always complete his task and became more attentive. for the first time, I found his class teacher communicating with me because of his good work.

So, definitely I like online schooling for my son. In this pandemic, this is safe for my son and the family. I could give him food on time and he took healthy food cause I am there to select his menu. 

Online schooling reduces my time and money. I didn't have to invest time in dropping and picking him up from school. I didn't have to prepare his dresses for his school.

The only negative thing that I had faced is physical activity. So, I have made him run on the treadmill, skateboard and ride a bicycle. He also does stretching too. Sometimes I take him outside the open air to do some physical movement.

Finally, my son loves his online school. He is asking me to try to put him in online school again.

Biography 53: Got hit on my head

 Shekha, my youngest sister was very little at that time. She didn't learn to move her body. We were at my mom's clinic. I laid down Shekkha on mom's bed in the staff room. This was the ladies' staff bedroom for clinic staff who doesn't have a home (Single immigrant) or do night duties.

At that moment Shekha, Teena (My friend) and I were in that room. Shekha was lying on the bed and I and Teena were playing "pick a boo" with Shekha. We were hiding below the bed and then move our heads up and Shekha burst out of laugh. Suddenly I got hit by the bed as I was trying to move up and the bed was made of iron. It hit so badly that I couldn't bear the pain. I hold my head and rolled over the bed. Teena kept asking what happen. I didn't say anything, didn't scream. I wasn't in a position to talk. After a while, I felt pain is reducing so sit down on the bed. I didn't have the strength to move my body to play. Suddenly some blood dropped on Shekha's nose. I was surprised, what happens. Teena looked at me and said, it is coming from your head.

Then I couldn't stop myself. I had already held my pain for so long. I started crying and went to my mom, downstairs in the clinic. Teena always took the smart move. She ran to the staff's gathering room and asked for help. The female nurses came to the bedroom and found shekha on the bed, with blood. They clean up Shekha and found nothing. Teena didn't know Arabic, Filipino or English. It was hard for her to explain to all with only one Arabic word, "Keeda".

My mom took me to the doctor's area where Teena's father was. He checked my head then asked my mom if he could cut some of my hair near the injured area. My mom agreed and they did whatever they needed to do and I have no idea about that. They asked me what happen. I was in shock. Didn't say anything. Teena was the only eyewitness who can talk. I heard she is explaining to her dad, " I told Shimul apu that blood is on your head and she started crying...."

Anyway, I was never good at explaining my injury. I get hurt and suck it up.

Something ranged

 I was sleeping. It may have been around 4:30 a.m. when my phone rang. I was in a deep sleep. What I remember is that I thought my morning alarm rang, so I turned it off and fell asleep again. I was feeling so sleepy that I couldn't wake up.

Around 5:30 a.m., my phone rang. This time, I woke up and noticed that my phone was ringing because of my alarm. I turned it off and started thinking, then, what was the first one I heard? I checked, nothing was on my "Recent" phone call, and there was no notification. Then what was that? I don't think I dreamed about it.