If you cut plants then do some planting too.

Some people don’t like trees. It’s true, I have seen it. They always found some problem with trees. Like it’s too near to house, if storm hits, it will break and fall on the roof, it has too many branches to block the road, it is making the floor dirty with its leaves, this tree isn't giving much fruits, it’s blocking the road etc. But do they do planning too? NO. Starting plants from seed isn't rocket science. But cutting is easier then planting. People don’t care about the environment, don’t think about planting, but if needed (or not) don’t hesitate to cut it out.

Developed country will rescue the earth.

We know there are many rocks or meteors around our Earth. If any bigger meteor hit our planet we will be destroyed. We have seen how destructive they are when few rocks hit on Jupiter. But do we worry about them? No, because, we know, some astronauts from developed nation keeping eye on the sky for early notification and they will find out a good solution to rescue the earth. We can sleep tight and eat well.

কেন সাহস পাই না

যা আমি সব সময় চাই, সেই জিনিসটা যদি একদম সামনে চলে আসে, তখন কেন যেন ভয় পেয়ে যাই। ফলাফল, উল্টা দৌড়। এ কেন হয়? ছোট বেলার স্বভাব থেকে এখনও কেন বের হতে পারলাম না। কেন এতো ভিতু, নিজের উপর কনফিডেন্সের অভাব। কেন কাজটা সামনে আসতে আসতে সব কনফিডেন্স চলে যায়। অথচ আমি কোন কিছুতেই একেবারে খারাপ না। তাহলে আর ভয় কেন? নাহ এখনও এ থেকে বের হতে পারলাম না।

Whatever I want, when it comes in front of me, I got afraid. So, I stepped back. Why I am doing this kind of attitude, I don’t know. It’s my Childhood nature. I wish I could overcome this problem. Is it lack of my confidence? I am not bad at anything. Then why I got afraid of everything which I should face easily. I don’t know, I really don’t know.

Want to go near to the nature

I and my son are at “Jol jongoler kabbo”. February 05, 2012

It’s been long time that we (me and my son) are living in this mega city and enjoying the city life. Because of political crisis couldn't go out at November and December (when Shafeen get vacation from school). Now our country's situation became little calm. But we can’t plan to go out now, because school has started and classes going on with full speed. More over Shafeen’s Moktob (to learn Quran and other Islamic rules) started too. I am really crying inside me. I just wish to go somewhere to spend time with nature, with open air cooked food. No tension, no stress, only to spend some good time.

Why we think like that?

In our country there are two kind of marriage, one is settled marriage and another one is love marriage. Settled marriage means, where guardians select bride or groom for a person and the marriage happen. As far as I have seen, most of the people likes, or respect settled marriage. Well you won’t found it by surveying on blog. Because most of the Bangladeshi don’t know what blog is. When any couple made a love marriage (where couples choose each other), people will congratulate them, but behind them they will say what actually they feels, and off course they are not good comments. Though, everyone wants to marry a person who they like.

When a husband hurt a wife, everybody will dislike it but won't react, because they think its natural or common thing. If a woman tries to hit back, nobody will like that and will make an issue. But no body wants to be beaten.

Everybody wants their husband, help them in their work. But if she saw, any other husband helping their wife, she will say, it’s not good and many more things. And rest of the society will agree with her.

Every woman will like to take enough rest and do all work in her own way. But she will never let other woman (bride of her son) to do her work in her own choice. People think that is bad and our society will never agree with the bride.

Why our thoughts are like that? Why can’t we be fair will all human?

Taught my son, people shouldn’t force anyone to love

My son was watching Cartoon on TV. He saw a male squirrel is trying to kiss and hug to the female squirrel. But the female one is trying to avoid and running away from him. Obviously the male was running after her.

My son asked why she is not letting him love. I replied, she doesn't like him, so she doesn't want love from him. Then Shafeen said, why the male trying to love her when she is not liking him? I said, that's the mistake, nobody should force anyone to love them. If anyone doesn't like us, we should let them go…

From the movie Ra.one my son started notice Shahrukh khan

Shafeen (my son) and Tameem (my elder sister’s son) playing like Ra.One

We always get to know about film stars from their acting in movies. When any movie gets our attention, the character player of that movie get our attention too. We became fan of them. Kids are like that too. My son gets interest on Shahrukh Khan from the movie Ra.One. Now whenever he saw him (in award function, other movie) he says, “Hey this is G-one”!

It’s difficult for me to adjust with this world

I have heard, in my childhood I was very friendly. I use to mix with any person with any age. If any kid came to our house, I always tried them to stay with us by giving toys and by telling many stories. But day by day I changed. I changed because in many ways I found negativity (off course I have many negative things too) in people and I tried to avoid that. The only safe solution for me was to stay away from them. Soon I became alone. I forget how to spend time with others. I started enjoying my life by reading books, drawing pictures, singing, dancing etc.

But real life is very complex. I can’t stay alone. I am living in a society, taking benefits from it and I have to maintain some rules. Now for work and other things I had to mix with people. The difficulty is I am not good in talking, not good in continuing any relationship, my headache starts if any one’s attitude hurts me, people easily can hurt be by their words or attitude. I am trying to accept this world. Trying to solve all problems or where I feel bad. It’s too difficult for me. But I will try and continue trying. I don’t have any option to get rid of these problems…

শাফিনের মক্তব (Shafeen’s Arabic learning school)

আগেই ঠিক করে রেখেছিলাম, শাফিনকে (আমার ছেলে) ৫ বছর বয়সে আরবী শিক্ষা দেয়া শুরু করবো। গতকাল ও প্রথম মক্তবে ক্লাস করলো। প্রথমে ও বুঝতেই পারছিলো না কোথায় বসবে। বসার জায়গা যে মেঝেতে পাটি আর কার্পেট বিছিয়ে করা হয়েছে, এটা বুঝতে পারেনি। আমি ভেবেছিলাম ও একেবারেই পছন্দ করবে না। কিন্তু আমাকে অবাক করে দিয়ে ও বলল, স্কুলের চেয়ে ওর মক্তবই বেশি পছন্দ হয়েছে। পড়াও ভাল লাগছে। বাসায় নিজেই বই নিয়ে বার বার প্র্যাকটিস করছে। নতুন সহপাঠিদের সাথেও দারুন মিশে গিয়েছে। আল্লাহ এই ধারা বজায় রাখুন... 

I had decided that I will start teaching Arabic to Shafeen when he will be 5 years old. Yesterday was his first class of Arabic and Islamic rule. I thought he won’t like this class, he use to do class in English medium school. He really surprised me. He said this school is better than his English school. He liked the teacher (hujur), his class mates and his lessons. He is practicing he lesson by himself at home, so that he can say it well in next class. May Allah keep this spirit…

Small tool can be helpful in winter

In winter, this is how you can protect your foot. This is a self learning by my son. He was 3 years and 1 month old. Now a day I can’t let him put his foot on the tool. Because his leg has grown up a bit and he plays with the tool by his leg. His game makes terrible noise downstairs. So I had to take the tool from his foot. 

Because of my friends I like to stay on Facebook

My son likes to work (?) on Tablet. In this picture he was 4 years and 8 months old

When I became use to with Facebook (it took time, my first impression was “it’s too clumsy”), I started searching my known people online, like school friends, college and university friends, ex-colleagues etc.  I couldn't find much. But after some time, many of them found from other friend’s friend list. I was amazed. Finally I found some of my friend from my school! Is it real! So, whenever I see any person I know, I send “friend request”, some ignore and some “add” me. I appreciate them, who added me. Because of you guys, I like to stay on Facebook.

সুখে থাকবো সব সময় (I will live happy, always)

যুদ্ধ করছি, প্রতিনিয়ত। প্রতিনিয়ত যুদ্ধ করছি, নিজের সাথে। অনেক আলসেমি হয়েছে, অন্যের জন্য অনেক করা হয়েছে, সবার কথা অনেক ভাবা হয়েছে। এবার নিজের দিকে তাকানোর সময়। আমার ভাল হলেও বহুলোকের উপকার হবে। আমার ক্ষতি হলে শুধু মাত্র একজন ক্ষতিগ্রস্থ হবে। ওর জন্য হলেও আমার নিজের দিকে তাকাতে হবে।

এখন শুধু ভালোর দিকে এগুনোর সময়। কাজ করে যেতে হবে। শুধুমাত্র যা সঠিক তার জন্য। কারো কথা শুনে নয় (সবার পরামর্শ বিবেচনার পর),  নিজের সিদ্ধান্ত অনুযায়ী। দেখা যাক কতদুর যেতে পারি। তবে সব সময়ই, যখনই, যে অবস্থায়ই থাকি না কেন, সুখে থাকব। যা থাকবে তাই নিয়েই সন্তুষ্ট থাকব। আমার জীবন পুরোপুরি আমার। সুখি থাকাই জীবনের একমাত্র লক্ষ্য। আপসোস, দু:খ, কষ্ট, না পাওয়া, এসব একেবারে ধুয়ে মুছে ফেলে দিলাম। যে যার বাড়ি যা...

I am fighting always, fighting always with myself. I have done enough laziness, done enough for others, thought enough for others. Now it’s time to look after me. If any good happens to me, many people will be benefited. When I get hurt, only one person will suffer. May be for him only, I have to look after myself.

Now it’s time to go, only for good, only for the right. No need to listen others (will take if those are for good), will always go with my own decision. Let’s see how far I can go. But no matter in which way I stay, I will be happy always in my mind. Whatever I had will be happy with that. Living happy is my only goal. No space for regret, sorrow, hurt, expectation in my life. I washed them away from my life.

Follow your friend, follow only good things

Shafeen playing with his elder cousin bro Tameem

Every person has some good quality and some bad. People, especially kids get influenced by others very fast. So, whenever they meet someone they start taking or following them. They can’t make the difference between the good and bad (who can), they just follow. So, whenever your kid meets a new friend he will have some new good things with some bad ones. Now it’s your duty to make the difference and try to remove the bad things from your kid. Oh Allah, why raising kid is so difficult?

Our life may not important for others, but it is for us

Shafeen asked me to let him work, then kept busy for hours

If you think about the Earth from the universe, you won’t see it. It’s too tiny. On this Earth there are some creature lives that you can’t see with only eyes, you will need microscope. Whether you care or not all life goes on. This way or that way, actually it’s in their own way. Sometimes many distractive works may make life difficult but it goes on (if it’s alive). So, let’s go on with this life. And enjoy where we are and whatever we are. No need to care about others let them live their life. And also we should try to make our life better. Rest depends on Allah. We can’t see future, we can’t bring back past. So, whatever moment we have, that’s all we have. No need to lose that by regretting for others.

ভালবাসাগুলো বক্স করে শুধু নিজের লোকের জন্য (All good feelings are in box and only for our own people)

আমাদের ভালোবাসা যেন প্যাকেটে মোড়া, বক্সে বন্দি। আমরা যা ভালবাসি সেটা শুধু মাত্র নিজের দলের লোকের জন্যই, অন্যের মাঝে যতই কোন ভাল জিনিস দেখি না কেন, মুখ কালো করে রাখতে হবে। খুজে খুজে দোষ বের করতে পারলে খুবই ভাল, বলার কিছু পাওয়া যাবে। না হলে অন্য কোন দোষ ধরেও বলা যায়। কিন্তু ভাল কিছু আছে অন্যের মাঝে, এটা তো স্বীকার করাই যাবে না।

আমার বড় বোন ম্যাট্রিকে স্টার মার্কস আর ৩টা লেটার নিয়ে পাস করেছিলেন (অবজেক্টিভ প্রশ্নের যুগ তখনও আসেনি). একদিন আমাদের উপর তলার মহিলা বাসায় বেড়াতে এলেন। বললেন," আমি গতদিন আপনার মেয়ের এক ক্লাস মেটের বাড়িতে গিয়েছিলাম (এই পাড়ার)। 

উনি (ঐ ক্লাস মেটের মা) বললেন, ও শফি সাহেবের মেয়ে? ও তো সেকেন্ড ক্লাস পেয়েছে।" 

শুনে আমাদের উপর তলার মহিলা বললেন, "কিন্তু আমি তো জানি ও স্টার মার্কস পেয়েছে" । 

এতে সেই ক্লাস মেটের মা মুখ বাকা করে বললেন, "স্টার মার্কস পাইলে কি হইবো, আসলে ঐ সেকেন্ড ক্লাসই"!!

Our good feeling, love, good comment, respect are only for our own people, own team. We don’t like to see good in others. No matter what good things we see in others, we have to ignore it and pretend it’s nothing. It will be good if we can search and found any bad thing in that good, then we have something to say. If we can’t then we will try to find some other bad or wrong thing in other matter and will say about that. We will never agree that other team has any good thing on this earth.

Long time back, my elder sister passed SSC exam with start marks and 3 letter marks (objective question didn't added on those days). One day our top floor neighbor came to visit us and tells my mother a story, “I went to another house whose girl also given SSC exam. That girl’s mother said, your girl passed the exam in second division. I replied, as far as I know she got star marks. That lady makes her face and said, may be she got star marks but she passed in second division”

Like winter, not too cold weather

In Bangladesh, we like winter mostly. Because in this weather we (girls) can put good make up on face in big ceremony without worry about sweating. We plan to travel in different area, because weather won’t be too hot. Our winter is like western world’s summer. So you can assume why we like this weather.

When we see any winter picture of a cold country, we can see only white everywhere. No doubt it’s look beautiful. But we can’t imagine to live in a place where temperate is less than 18c. Many things look beautiful from far away… not when we get closer. 

For good we have to stay together

Photo credit: Tameem

No matter, how much we avoid each other, we are living in the same world and sharing everyday each other’s space. Here nothing is only for our good or for others; everything has impact on all, directly or indirectly.

No good work can be continued by only one person. They will need others help to continue their work and spread it. We know all the rocks on this galaxy or beyond that are very far from us. It took several years that for one astrologist can’t see the complete path. So, one may help to start one voyagers and next generation or may took more generations to see the actual picture of a new rock.

You alone can’t do all or all good work. You have to adjust with others for the bigger good. This is our world, we have to live here and have to make it better for our future generation. Let’s help each other to make it better. No matter how much we hate each other, we have to work together. A good work is much more worth than any personal clash.

ক্যামেরায় আমার ছবি (My picture in camera)

Shafeen took my picture at KFC

ছোট বেলায় আব্বা-আম্মার কথা মতো ছবির জন্য পোজ দিতাম। ছবি কেমন আসলো, কি রকম হলে ভাল হতো এসব  ভাবার বয়স ছিলো না। এরপর একটু বড় হয়ে লক্ষ্য করলাম, আমার চেহারা ক্যামেরায় ভাল আসে না (এমনিতেও ভাল না)।
তাই ছবি তোলার সময় লক্ষ্য করতাম আসে পাসের দৃশ্য যেন ভাল হয়। কিছু তো ভাল থাকতে হবে ছবিতে। সবই ছিল এ্যানালগ ক্যামরার কাজ। মোবাইলে ক্যামেরা আসার পর শুরু হলো নিজের হাতে মন মতো ছবি তোলা। নিজের ছবি এবার প্রায় বন্ধ হয়ে গেল। কি দরকার আজে বাজে ছবি তোলার। এখন মাঝে মাঝে দু একটা ছবি আমার ছেলে তুলে দেয়। তোলার পর বলে, ছবি ভাল এসেছে, মাথা কাটা পরেনি (ও আমার বেশ কয়েকটা হাত পায়ের ছবি তুলে দিয়েছে)।

In my childhood my parents use to take my pictures. I had to give pose with their instruction. On those days I never care how I am looking, what can make the picture better. Then after grow up I noticed my camera picture isn't good (well, I am not a good looking person). So, I tried to give good background picture. At least something should come good, isn't it? Then mobile camera came and I started taking picture as much as I wish. Now it became very rare that I took any picture of mine. Sometimes my son took my picture and says, “Mom, this one came good, your head isn't missing here (he took some pictures with only my hands and legs)”.

Does your kid ever see our national flower?

This picture is from given wallpapers of a cell phone

If you ask any Bangladeshi, “Which is our national flower?” people will reply water lily (in Bangla, Shapla). Now if you ask which color of lily is our national flower, then some people may hesitate to answer. The answer is White water lily. Even my son knows it.

Now if you ask, did you ever see it? New generation, who lives in city, will answer “NO”. Do you have any idea how it looks, its size, how it feels when touched? All answer will be “NO”. This is our city life. Our kids even have no idea how our national flower look like. Well, parent may show them in front of “Sonali Bank”, which is called “Shapla Chattor (water lily square)”. 

Need a travel guide to Bangladesh

Peacock at Dhaka zoo, photo credit: Tameem

In our country there are many beautiful places. To some places we can go very easily and to some we had to make some adventure. Some place we have in our own area (walking distance), some need days to visit. Though it is a small country but we have many varieties in landscape and beauty.

I wish have a web site, from where we can easily find a place to visit searching by budget, area etc. From where we will know what are the place available to visit (with picture and description), hotel facilities (with contact info), how to go there (every possibilities), what are the things we can do over there, special food of that place etc.

Then any visitor can plan to go there from anywhere of our country and from anywhere of the world. We should also have the list of travel guide available in our country. Which company offer what, should mention there too, with their contact info.

We can easily get sponsor from hotels, rental car, travel agencies, spot owners, resorts etc. There should also have option to add more places or add more info about any place. Admin may check and then add it on their site.

It can be something like travel guide to Bangladesh. It will be helpful for not only Bangladeshis but also foreign visitor.

We can also have info about special events which occurs regularly (yearly, monthly etc). Like Pohela boishakh, Jobbor er boli khela, Nouka baich, international trade fair, other fairs etc. So that if anyone wants to see any even can plan how to go there and enjoy.

And for every success in our country we need political stability… Allah may help us.

সব কাজই ম্যানেজ করেন সুন্দরভাবে অনেকে (Some people can manage every work nicely)

কাউকে যখন খুব গুছিয়ে সুন্দর ভাবে কাজ করতে দেখি, আমি একেবারে মুগ্ধ হয়ে যাই। কি সুন্দর করে ঘরে বাইরে (বিশেষ করে মেয়েরা) সব কাজ করে। একজন বললেন, "সব কিছুই খাপে খাপে ঠিক বসে যায়"... কিভাবে? আমি তো সব সময়ই ব্যর্থ। ছেলের সব কাজ করলে নিজের কাজ হয় না, ঘরের সব কাজ করলে নিজের কাজ বাদ, বাইরের কাজ করি যেদিন, ঘরের কোন কিছুই ঠিক মতো হয় না। সবই উলট পালট হয়ে যায়। খুব বেশি যে দিন ভাল ভাবে কাজ করতে পারি সেদিন একটা দিকের কাজ শুধু ঠিক মতো হয়। 

আজ সকালে একটা মুভি দেখলাম। আমি যেহেতু বেশি ইমোশনাল, তাই কয়েক ফোটা চোখের পানিও ফেললাম মুভি দেখে। তবে মুল কথা হলো আমার দিনের শুরুর কয়েক ঘন্টা এতে চলে গেল। ফলাফল আমার হযরবল অবস্থা। ছেলের খাওয়ার, অন্যান্য কাজের, নিজের কাজের, নামাজের, ঘরের কাজের সব কিছু স্কুইজ হয়ে এক সময়ে পরে গেল। সাথে আছে,ময়লা ওয়ালা, বুয়া আরও অনেক কিছু...।

নাহ আমাকে দিয়ে আর হবে না। এতো বয়সেও যখন ঠিক মত সব গুছাতে পারছিনা, আর কোনদিন আমাকে দিয়ে হবে, এই আশাও আর করি না :(

When I see someone working very organize at home and outside (especially women) I really respect them. One said, “Ever work somehow settled well in its range” I really felt how? Because I always failed to do work in a way as I wanted. When I do all work of my son, my work misses (not done all or not done properly or the way I wanted), when I give attention on my house work, some of my son’s work misses. When I complete one side work perfectly, I miss other sides work.

Today morning I had watched a movie. As I am a very emotional person I dropped few drop of water from my eyes. That’s not the big deal, main problem is now my day time squeezed and I have to do all other duty in a very small time period.

Nope, maybe I am not like that, that I will do every work perfectly (as I want) always. I have expended many years but couldn’t find a good solution of it, so I have accepted that this is it. I can only do this much. L

Two beautiful sphere, the sun and the moon

I don’t press “Like” in “Facebook” whatever I like (not always). If I do that my friends will be annoyed, because all those posts will be on their news feed too and off course they will be annoyed. Generally I try to write comment on posts, in that way people will know, I liked their post and also will know what exactly I felt.

But I can’t stop myself when I see any picture on the sun and the moon. Don’t know what is with these two spheres. They just touch my heart. I always press “Like” whenever I see the picture with the sun and the moon, except those people’s post who doesn't want to see my activity.

Many times we guesses wrong when assuming

When we meet someone online or offline, they create an impression inside us. Sometimes when we talk with other person online, many times we felt that this is the same person. They are talking in same way. And many times we finally found we were right. Sometimes we misunderstood. We may talk with that person or id by assuming that this is actually that person. After long time we get to know that we were wrong. Actually they are different person. These are very common scenario in online communication.

In real life sometimes we felt from inside we are communicating with someone. We are sharing our feelings. Sometimes we felt some other person is thinking about us. We guess that is the person. And sometimes we understood, we guessed wrong. Actually some other was holding us, instead of the person we guessed.

Really very difficult is this assuming part of our mind. It always shows the similarities and starts assuming. It always takes us to better thinking of a situation to calm down us and give better feeling. And many times it gives wrong info only to make us feel better.

I think no matter how hard the truth is, it should come in front us as soon as possible. We better live with truth than good dream.

Deep inside the sea

This picture is taken from the cell phone default wall papers

I like water; I can stay in water whole day long. I tried that in Cox’s bazaar in Bay ofBengal. Though, I don’t know how to swim and never tried to learn. But I have a dream someday I will go deep inside the ocean and see the beauty of the ocean from inside. 

We should aware to save our world

photo credit: Tameem

“Pollution”, we heard this word many times. Sometimes we care; sometimes we felt this is just a word. Reality is, it’s a slow coming great disaster, if we don’t became aware of it. We always felt, what will happen if I through just a plastic chips pack into the water. You have no idea how it can block water flow, what may happen when any water creature eat it, even how birds can get affected and in the long run how poor effect it can bring. It won’t take much effort or time to put that plastic packet into the dustbin.

What will happen if we don’t care to save our natural resources? We may not get much affected but our future generation will. Do you want your kid to fall in terrible environmental crisis? Of course not, then try to be little careful while using water, gas, electricity, oil etc.

Preventing is always better than cure.

যেভাবে ২০১৪ কে বরণ করে নিলাম

শাফিন মাস্ক পরতে চাইছিল না, শুধু ছবি তোলার কথা বলে অনেক কষ্টে পরিয়েছি। 

শাফিনে স্পাইডার ম্যান ড্রেস

আমার রান্না, থাই ফ্রাইড রাইস (চিংড়ি দেই নাই)

২০১৪ সালে প্রথম খেলাম কফি। ভালই লেগেছে। এরপর সকালে উঠেই পেলাম বড় আপার দুপুরে খাওয়ার দাওয়াত, দুপুরে পেলাম রাতে আম্মার কাছে খাবার দাওয়াত। ভাল ভাল খাবার খেয়ে দিন শেষ করলাম। যেহেতু নিজেরও কিছু করার ইচ্ছা ছিল। তাই বানিয়ে ফেললাম থাই ফ্রাইড রাইস। বাসমতি চাল থেকে দারুন সুঘ্রাণ বের হচ্ছিল। তবে খাওয়া হয়নি। দাওয়াত খাওয়ার ফাকে ফুরসতই পাইনি। আজ খেয়ে দেখবো।

শাফিনকে অনেক বুঝিয়ে জোড় করে স্পাইডার ম্যানের ড্রেস টা পরালাম। সবাইকে বললাম, কেউ যেন ওকে না ক্ষেপায়। তারপরও ও লজ্জায় কারো সামনে যেতে চাইছিল না। ঘরে ফিরা মাত্র এই ড্রেস খুলে ফেলল। হঠাৎ এতো লজ্জা যে কোথা থেকে আসল। 

সব কিছুর মাঝে অনলাইনে সবার শুভেচ্ছা দেখলাম, কিছু মেসেজও পেলাম সেল ফোনে, খুবই ভাল লেগেছে। আর সামনা সামনি বাড়ির সবাই সবাইকে শুভেচ্ছা জানালাম। দেশের এতো করুন অবস্থার মধ্যেও কিভাবে যেন সবাই আনন্দ খুজে বের করে নিয়েছে। মন্দ কি।