In Bangladesh (And other countries, too), from class 9 (Grade 09) to HSC (Grade 12), we studied mainly in two sections. Science and Humanities. My parents and older sister decided that I should study Humanities. Because I was weak in Math. I followed their instruction and studied in Humanities till HSC.
Then after passing HSC, I thought, why don't I choose subjects myself. Because then I had to select a topic for my studies at the University. My mom wanted me to study Law. She said the way I put logic and argue indicates that I will be good as a lawyer. She wanted a lawyer in the family.
I wanted to study abroad. But I thought my dad was in a government job (In those days, government job holders had significantly less pay). So, he won't be able to bear my costs. So, I dropped that idea. But I like to travel a lot. I heard in the Univesity that only the Geography department takes students to study tours yearly. That was the only way to travel to different places every year.
No matter what my family wanted, I decided to study Geography.
For our pantry, we buy food items or ingredients. Most of the time, we store it in our own jar or container and garbage or recycle (Most of them are not possible) the actual package or container, which came from the production or distribution company.
We can minimize this waste or stop it by using reusable containers when we package the items. First, food shouldn't be contained in any plastic container for health. It should be packaged in a Jar or Reusable container (made of glass, paper, cloth, wood, etc. Or green plastic, which decomposed). Then the refill box should come in a paper or cloth container or package; if not possible, only in a tin container (Which is recyclable). Then there won't be any waste. For example, some bread spread came in a glass. So, after finishing the food item we can use it as a drinking glass. It could be a mug, bowl, plate or jar.
Big companies are using a lot of effort, time and money to make beautiful containers for their products, which is not reusable, and we have to throw them out. Why are we wasting our money and damaging our planet? When we can just use reusable, easy to use in kitchen, and beautiful containers and save our environment.
After passing HSC (In Canada, it is called grade 12), most students get admitted to coaching classes in Bangladesh. So, that they can get selected for the admission test in prominent universities. Now a day, they do this kind of coaching to get admitted to good kindergarten schools (In Canada, it is called pre-schools).
The coaching centers give advertisements and offer gifts that already did good in HSC so that the good students join their centers. When those students get admitted to good places, they will give pictures of them and say they got into good universities because they had coaching classes in particular coaching centers. Some coaching centers take a good amount of money.
If I read the guidebook well, I would get a chance to study at Dhaka University. The best education center in Bangladesh. This was my goal or wish. Students from all over Bangladesh try to learn here, including some foreign countries. If I don't get a chance to be admitted to that University, I will join another university, comparatively less famous.
Before the Dhaka University admission process started, The Eden Mohila College admission due date came. So, I didn't take any chance; who knows whether I would be selected for Dhaka University. I gave an admission test at Eden Mohila College and got chosen to admit to the honours course Geography.
This was the first convocation at the University of Dhaka after gaining independence. I was a little upset about some issues. Like, the organizer should have given us a hat. They had some hats, which were for the seniors. Then many of our friends didn't join because they asked for some fee for this celebration. They thought this was a waste of money, with little to achieve. Finally, they didn't arrange any food for the festival. I don't know about other universities, but I felt every celebration should include food and beverages.
This picture was taken by our traditional photographer Mr. Piyar. I have seen every University and College function to take pictures. Later, students buy from him.
Born and raised in London to Kosovar-Albanian parents, Dua Lipa signed to Warner Records in 2015, releasing her self-titled debut in 2017 which featured the hit singles, 'Be The One,' 'IDGAF,' 'Hotter Than Hell' & her first UK #1 hit 'New Rules.'
Critical success soon followed as Dua Lipa picked up Brit Awards for 'Best Female Solo Artist' and 'Best British Breakthrough Act' as well as Grammy Awards for 'Best New Artist' and 'Best Dance Recording' for the track 'Electricity' in collaboration with Silk City.
Her second internationally acclaimed studio album 'Future Nostalgia' was released in 2020 and included the hit singles 'Don't Start Now, 'Break My Heart,' 'Hallucinate' and 'Levitating,' with the remix album 'Club Future Nostalgia' following shortly after featuring guest appearances from 'Blackpink,' 'Missy Elliott,' 'Madonna' and 'Gwen Stefani.'
Lyrics
If you wanna run away with me, I know a galaxy
And I can take you for a ride
I had a premonition that we fell into a rhythm
Where the music don't stop for life
Glitter in the sky, glitter in my eyes
Shining just the way I like
If you're feeling like you need a little bit of company
You met me at the perfect time
You want me, I want you, baby
My sugarboo, I'm levitating
The Milky Way, we're renegading
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
I need you all night, come on, dance with me
I'm levitating
You, moonlight, you're my starlight (you're the moonlight)
I need you all night, come on, dance with me
I'm levitating
I believe that you're for me, I feel it in our energy
I see us written in the stars
We can go wherever, so let's do it now or never, baby
Nothing's ever, ever too far
Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes
Shining just the way we are
I feel like we're forever, every time we get together
But whatever, let's get lost on Mars
You want me, I want you, baby
My sugarboo, I'm levitating
The Milky Way, we're renegading
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight
I need you all night, come on, dance with me
I'm levitating
You, moonlight, you're my starlight (you're the moonlight)
I need you all night, come on, dance with me
I'm levitating (whoo)
You can fly away with me tonight
You can fly away with me tonight
Baby, let me take you for a ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm levitating (whoo)
You can fly away with me tonight
You can fly away with me tonight
Baby, let me take you for a ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoo)
My love is like a rocket, watch it blast off
And I'm feeling so electric, dance my arse off
And even if I wanted to, I can't stop
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
My love is like a rocket, watch it blast off
And I'm feeling so electric, dance my arse off
And even if I wanted to, I can't stop
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You want me, I want you, baby
My sugarboo, I'm levitating
The Milky Way, we're renegading
I got you (yeah), moonlight, you're my starlight
I need you all night (all night), come on, dance with me
I'm levitating (whoo)
You can fly away with me tonight (tonight)
You can fly away with me tonight
Baby, let me take you for a ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (take you for a ride)
I'm levitating (whoo)
You can fly away with me tonight (tonight)
You can fly away with me tonight
Baby, let me take you for a ride
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (let me take you for a ride)
I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight (you are my starlight)
I need you all night, come on, dance with me (come on, dance with me, baby)
I'm levitating
You, moonlight, you're my starlight (you're the moonlight)
In Bangladesh, Baily road is famous for its cultural activities. In the beginning, the roadside shops were Sharees and books. Then it started changing to food courts. The last time I saw it, there was only one bookstore left. The road begins from the Shantinagar four roads node. In the end, it has two prominent colleges and schools. One is Viqarunnina noon college, and another is Siddeshshory girls college. Both are girls' colleges. They called these institutions high schools in Canada until grade 12. After that, we have a Drama theatre.
I found a similar road when I started living in Saskatoon, Canada. It's called Broadway. It started from the 8th Street and Broadway intersection and finished at an overbridge on the river. The road is decorated with beautiful lights. Most of the city's cultural activities happen here by closing the road. In the end, they have a school. Then a Theater. Sometimes, many organizations rent this to show many functions. I have been there to see movies, circuses, school functions, etc.
Sometimes, by mistake, I used to call Broadway road; Baily road.
“Please don’t spend the rest of the days punishing yourself just because someone didn’t see your value, which made you doubt your worth. “
Everybody likes to hear positive opinions about themselves. We always stay alert so that nobody should get a negative impression of us. Now it's an era of social media. People like to have likes, shares and subscriptions or followers.
In this situation, you start feeling low if you hear somebody say something wrong about you. It ruins your whole day. Don't punish yourself this way for someone's opinion who can't see your value. Don't doubt your worth.
শুঠবিজয় দিবস বাংলাদেশ। Happy Victory Day Bangladesh.
How do we make a family tradition? When we do something on a particular day that makes us happy, we want to do that every year.
I like to do things like that. I have started many family traditions for my family and me. We enjoyed that. Most of them are not possible in a new country. But I try.
Here we were together on the Victory day of Bangladesh. It was a great day. I wanted to continue like that every year. Not possible now.
“Don’t blame people for disappointing you; blame yourself for expecting too much from the wrong people.”
We expect, sometimes, without thinking about anything. We hope people will drive their cars carefully, maintaining all rules. We expect our loved ones will love us back, we expect students will always respect their teacher, we expect our employees will work their best for us, we expect our employer will notice our excellent work, we expect our friends will be with us, no matter what happens, we expect our family will stay together. There are uncountable things that we expect from others.
Sometimes others can't stand up according to our expectations. We need to understand many times we expect from the wrong person. Maybe that person doesn't think about us the way we think about them. Perhaps that person doesn't respect you as you do them. It's not always their fault that they couldn't meet our expectations. Sometimes it's our fault that we expect the wrong person.
You will often see people raising their voices in a poorly known meeting. People show off to be rich, sophisticated, wise, beautiful etc. These people always do something to get others' attention. The reality is whoever is really wise doesn't look for attention. They know who they are and work according to their knowledge.
When I passed the HSC exam (Grade 12), the computer concept came into our world. I didn't come from a wealthy family, so I couldn't ask my dad to buy me a computer (I never asked him to give me anything, that's why my parent always gave me the least). But in my mind, I knew someday I would learn to operate a computer.
In those days, an Electric typewriter was available in offices. So, according to my budget, I decided to learn to typewrite. It would be helpful to work on the computer. I still believe it helped. If you can make some time, I suggest learning to typewrite online. It is beneficial for anyone. But not a necessary tool.
In BailyRoad, ShantiNagar, Dhaka, Bangladesh, there was an organization called "Dhaka business women's club." They used to provide different kinds of training. I got admitted to the "Type Writing" course. It was a 3 months course, and I completed it successfully.
Later, when I started working with the keyboard, my colleagues used to be surprised and said, "You are not looking at your keyboard while typing! you are a blind keyboard user!"
[I am sure you all won't agree with me, it's just my thoughts]
If corruption is there, then I can't expect anything. I can only hope it won't continue generation after generation. However, if the government has the slightest chance to work for the people, I will say it should have control over product pricing. People can't just increase prices as much as they want and keep making trillions of benefits.
One job should be enough for a person to live. People should not consider how they will pay for the rent or food. They should have basic expenses in their bank account if they have a job.
When a person works for more than one job, it harms their body and mind fitness and the work quality in the workplace. To have a better performance in a job, employers should think about it.
When I was a kid, I always had to attend 7/8 classes per day in school. All most all courses are used to give us homework or to do some study (memorizing). No matter how hard I tried (which I did 4/5 days in my whole school life), I couldn't finish more than one homework in a day. Because, whatever I do, I do it well. So, I gave lots of time and concentration on one subject and could never find time to complete other homework. (And maybe I am too slow also, now a day became slowest). And I had plenty of work to do daily, including playing with toys.
Now you will ask me, then how did I manage in school. The answer is that I am always very attentive in class. So, when teachers teach us in class, I try my best to understand it. So, in exams, I mostly wrote from my understanding.
And I was a fortunate girl too. (Only Bangladeshi people will understand this) For example, in the SSC exam preparation, students memorized several essays to find one familiar to the exam. But as I told you, I didn't have time for that. So, I read only one (After trying my best). And that I found in our question paper. Even I was surprised to see my luck.
Now a day, I have started my student life again. And I found myself in the same position. I am feeling difficulty completing all assignments. I am trying hard. Rest Allah knows.
My luck never favours me in a lottery. I had never won any draw before. I remember I went to a boat party with my younger sister's classmate. It was a journey to Buriganga. they had given 65 prizes to the boat people. And my name wasn't there.
Last week I went to an Indigenous workshop. A bunch of people joined there, including my two other classmates. They organized a raffle draw. I gave my name too without any hope.
First, my two classmates won the prize. I didn't surprise that my name wasn't there. After a short break, they drew again and this time, breaking all the bad luck, they picked up my name. I was so happy to win the gift bag.
I was in working as a project manager in my home country Bangladesh. I had my professional and personal stresses but I didn't face financial problems or big concerns about it. I was also living in my parent's house. So, the shelter was also anything to be concerned about.
Then I moved to Canada. I had genuine reasons for that. My son was having trouble with food. Because of corruption or we can say greedy businessmen our country's food quality was compromised. Those kinds of businessmen started using harmful chemicals and pest control medicine in our food before they started producing. I mean they started putting it in the soil before they put the seed in it. Then keep spraying harmful chemicals and before they sell, dip those productions again in chemicals.
If you buy any fruit from a market then you can keep it at normal room temperature (Just note, Bangladesh is a hot and humid country), it won't get rotten even after months. You can try this on apples.
So, I moved to Canada for food security for my son. I believed in myself that my work capability will be noticed by Canadian employers and I will do good over here.
A question about my future:
My goal was to live a good life in Canada. Do a good job, and have a home and car. Enjoy life without much tension.
A question about my present life:
I didn't know much about the Canadian job sector before I moved to Canada. I had started applying for jobs in Canada from Bangladesh. Didn't succeed. Now I know, it's almost impossible to get a job that way. In Canada, I have started work at Best Buy. Again, I didn't know the job terminology and also had no idea how to cope with it. I started a contracted job. After my contract our manager asked me would you work here if we called again? I was happy that they liked me. I said sure. I thought they will call me next time to join.
Now I know I was wrong. The manager was saying when again they need people they will post it online. From the job site or from their website I have to get information and apply again to the company. As they liked my work, they would recruit me then permanently.
So, I miss this opportunity and miss others only for just not understanding the situation,
After seven years in Canada I understood, I need some training or course to prove to myself that I can be a good employee. This is the current job culture. I was admitted to a college. I tried to pick a subject with has job opportunities and also matches my interest. "Community Worker". I was admitted to a well-known college so that people give value to my education. To achieve this I had to make 4 hours of the journey (To go to college and come back) each day when I do class in person. I am busy almost every single minute with my assignments. I hope my hard work will give me a good position in my future life,
I am a Muslim woman. I don't fast during my period. No Muslim woman does. Is it?
In my childhood, I have never seen any woman eating or drinking during Ramadan. Some didn't eat or drink during that time because they didn't want anybody to know that their period was going on. So, when I grew up, I used to do this too. Sometimes I hid just to drink some water.
[Things have changed now, many people don't keep fast in Ramadan, and they eat and enjoy drinking openly. I really felt bad that our culture should support fasting, and if anyone wants to eat in the daytime in Ramadan, they shouldn't eat like this openly.]
A woman shouldn't feel shy at home during that time. We should help to change this culture and keep them suffering during the women's time.
I don't know why, but every year on the first day of Ramadan, I always forget for some moments that I am fasting. During that moment, I eat something, then again, I start fasting and forget that I have eaten something. Later that day, after Iftar time, I could remember that I had eaten something during my fasting.
When I was in college (Grade 11 and 12), that moment happened in my college time.
During our lunch break, I went to the canteen. I was surprised to see that canteen has very less prepared food. And only a few kids were there to buy food (Below 12 years). Generally, they used to make different kinds of delicious food, and the canteen or cafeteria was full of girls, and it was always very difficult to buy something from that crowd.
The cafeteria salesman was a little surprised to see me. I was the only senior girl. I bought something. Then sat in the cafeteria and ate it. I enjoyed the food. And also noticed that other senior girls playing table tennis were looking at me, saying something to each other's ears and laughing. I never bothered about what people said about me, neither at that time. After taking my lunch, I returned to my class and started fasting. I totally forget about my eating activity.
I understood where I was wrong after 2/3 days.
It was the first day of Ramadan, so almost everyone (Except kids) was fasting. The only reason a senior girl will eat food on that day could be my woman time. That's why others were laughing at me.
No matter how busy a mom becomes, her heart, eyes and ear are always focused on her kid. Especially when they became too silent. It means something must be wrong. Either they are busy with something that they shouldn't do or facing some trouble. For both reasons, mama needs to run and check out the situation.
I am still living in this situation.
My son used to like my company till he was a 12-year-old boy. Now a day, he doesn't want his mom around him. Mostly because mom doesn't like his activity and asks him to do those activities which he doesn't like at all.
My son's favourite activities: playing games, chatting with friends, listening to and watching songs on Youtube, and watching funny videos. Mostly plays games and all his favourite activities are on the computer. And if I don't let him play games, sleeping.
What I ask him to do, do his homework, clean his bed, brush his teeth and use mouth wash, do stretching, practice riding a skateboard, learn something on adobe illustrator (He choose it first) and make something, practice guitar (He choose it first), practice keyboard (He choose it first), writer blog (He has the capability of writing and don't want to utilize it), cook (When needed), do laundry (When needed), run on the treadmill, etc.
You can see there is no matching between his work and mine. So, obviously, he doesn't like his mother anymore.
Our gap increased because of my job. He was a free bird during my work time. Now every day I had to fight with him for his daily work. Today said, he has a headache so, went to sleep again after breakfast. I don't know how I am going to manage this boy to keep in with a healthy routine.
Soon he will be an adult, I hope by that time, I will be able to make him follow a healthy daily routine which he may continue.
I can only try, and pray for him. Allah will take him to his destination.
Menstruation (Or period) is something that people in Bangladesh think is something to be ashamed of, it's a girl's secret. Nobody talks about it openly. Many men get to know about the period after marriage or from their girlfriend.
People don't buy products for periods openly.
My son, when he was a very young boy, saw pads at home. He found it very similar to his diaper, but he asked what are these.
My theory is, if anyone can ask any question, they are ready to listen the answer.
I told my son that you know, all woman's body has a womb, where a baby grows up. Every month our body cleans it with blood and it prepares for the baby. After washing the area, the blood comes out. So, we need to wear the pad, on those days.
He was satisfied with my answer and didn't ask me, which way it comes out. So, I avoided that part.
From then I bought things for the period in front of him (Sometimes) and he never felt uncomfortable or never tried to avoid that section while shopping.
If we take natural things, naturally why it will be so shameful for us?
We all should follow our hearts. But most of the time, my heart doesn't pick up the right path. If I listen to my heart, it will take me deep down the shit.
So, I try to follow, what I suppose to do. And most of the time I found the right path. But this work makes me tired of everything. So, for a change, sometimes I give a little freedom to my heart. Like a piece of dessert after a meal.
In College, our HomeEconomic teacher was a very smart lady. I won't say she looks very beautiful, but she always used to wear nice sharees with matching ornaments, with nice light make-up.
It's not only because of her teaching subject but she also uses to teach us many tips for life. I am guessing that's her natural style of sharing information.
One day she told us, that she doesn't have a dressing table at her home. We surprised. Then she said, now you guys are thinking how our teacher looks so gorgeous every day. Well, I have a closet (Almirah made of steel) with a mirror on it. That's enough to get dressed. Why would I buy a dressing table then? At home, if you don't need anything, don't buy it. That will give you more space in your house.
It's true, now I follow that. People buy new big dining tables. I bought a small one. Because I don't need a big one.
One day we arranged a class party in college. Our teacher was in charge to manage everything. When people (Other teachers) started coming to our party, I saw her stand at the door and she was welcoming everyone with a big smile. It was a fake one. But I felt it was giving a very good impression to the guests. If anyone welcomes me into their house with a big smile, I will feel a warm welcome. Now a day, I try to give this to my guests.
She said, she always prepares her dress and ornaments before sleep. So, in the morning she never needed to run here and there for everything. It saves her time and energy.
I totally agree with her. I want to do the same.
She was very proud of her brother, I overhear her talking with other teachers. She was saying she went with her brother to see girls to married to her brother (This is a tradition, to find a bride, boy and his relative go to the girl's house, enjoy their hospitality, see and check the girl, then decide whether they will marry the girl or not). She said the girl was ok, nicely dressed up, but she was wearing regular sandals on her feet, so her brother dismiss the girl to be a bride. He needed a smart one.
I was thinking, well, it is obvious, that a girl will wear sandals at home. You didn't meet her in a restaurant. But anyway, I don't know anything about fashion, better not comment.
She also told, that her mother is very straightforward. One day she went to a girl's house but the girl wasn't tall enough. Her mother told to the girl's relative, your girl is too short for my son. She is his leg's size. Our teacher was laughing.
I believe, no matter what, you can't take anyone's hospitality and then say this kind of word to their daughter. How will you feel, if anyone did the same to your son?
Anyway, our teacher seems very happy and enjoying by giving trips to the girl's houses. I was thinking, This is not right. No matter how our Bangladeshi society accepts it. Allah saved me, that I had decided not to get married.
I will talk about women only on basis of my experiences in Bangladesh.
In the middle-incomed people, there are many varieties. Like some live near to poor, some in between and some are near to rich and then they act differently too.
In Bangladesh and in other south Asian countries, the Grooms family doesn't say directly but always expects furniture and other gifts (Gold ornaments mainly) from the bride (There are a few exceptions also) or her family.
So, when a baby girl gets born, the girl's parent started saving money that will be needed when she will grow up and get married. Sometimes parents need time to save a big amount of money so they had to wait to get their daughter married. Or find it difficult to find a groom who will say yes, with a comparatively small amount of money. Especially if the girl's skin colour is not fair enough.
Some parents wanted to get their girls married before they pass master's degrees. Because of two reasons. One it will be difficult to find a groom with the same or more educated. And generally, in South Asia, men don't want to get married who are more educated than them. Probably they believe it will show them less masculine and more educated girls will be difficult to manage (Make them listen always). No one likes a woman who raises their voice. In this situation, parents will find it difficult to get a groom for their girls.
The other reason is people then think, the girl becomes aged. All over the world, there is a fascination with girls' ages. If somehow it goes near 30, the girl is marked as an aged woman and not good for the marriage market. In Bangladesh, if she gets a master's degree, some groom and their families will take it as a benchmark of becoming too aged to be selected as a bride. So, the girl's parents hurry to give their girls marry.
Another middle-class trend is to make their girl educated till they got a master's degree and then let them take a job. Then they will get married. Because if they don't get a job and get married. Then after getting married or after having a child, it will be difficult for them to get a job. In Bangladesh, age is a big factor to get a job. When a woman gets involved with household work, it is difficult for them to go out and do the job. Because their in-laws (Most grooms in Bangladesh live with their parents and then get a wife, and then make her or expected her to take care of the husband's parent, people believe it is the girl's job to take care of the groom's parents. Not her own parents or neither groom help to take care of his own parent) and husband are used to taking their service in the home, now they don't want to sacrifice their facilities or if they don't need money from the bride. So, for the bride, there won't be any income source and always have to live with the mercy of her groom and his family to get some money. And there won't be any aim in life except household work.
Some get jobs before marriage because they know, it is difficult for a grom to manage a family with their own income, so they look for a bride who earns. So, a job could be an asset for some girls to get married.
Some Muslim families don't let their girls wear hijab. Because they think, maybe the groom's family won't like it and then will face difficulty to marry their girl. So, they wait, after marrying if their husband or his family allows, then they will wear a hijab or head scarf.
Some parents give their daughters married earlier because of their safety. If the girl is beautiful, the surrounding men will make their life difficult. In that case, parents have no choice.
Some families give their older daughters marry early. Because otherwise if all girls became adults then people will mark it as a negative point that for some reason, no girls could get marry, all are becoming aged women (Not suitable for a bride). After the older daughter, they can wait and make other girls well educated before marrying.
I have passed grade 12 from Viqarunnisa noon college, Bangladesh. It's called the HSC (Higher Secondary Certificate) exam in Bangladesh.
In Bangladesh, Viqarunnisa College is one of the most renowned colleges for girls. Many wealthy families students come here to study and most of the talented girls come from all over Bangladesh. I am from a middle-class family. I did not get a chance to mix with any wealthy families. If any of our known families became rich, they stopped mixing with us. So, I do not have any idea about their lifestyle.
In college, I had the most lonely time of my entire life. People didn't like me, and neither did I like them. They use to humiliate me, I didn't bother, what they say or do.
But I was really surprised to see them get married before the final exam. It's not one or two people, most of them. Mainly to the military guys. Then to doctors and engineers. I was thinking, didn't any of them ever think to make any career or work on their father's business?
I have seen when they come to give the exam, the girl I have seen most dangerous, always jumping and laughing became very polite. Smiling with a shy attitude. I am amazed. Maybe it was good for them. I wish them to get married earlier to make my life easier.
I have discussed this with the older sister, what's the matter, they are not from low-income families, why do their parents need to get them married so early?
My sister replied they are too fast forward to control. The way they behave with parents and boyfriends, their parents know, they can't control these girls much. Before they do any big mistakes, they better get married.
I recalled my memories, yes, in college I heard many times that girls don't attend the classes. Run away from classes to meet with boyfriends and enjoy time with them. It is too early for a girl to understand that they be used by their male partner. So, obviously, parents and teachers were worried about them.
In Bangladesh for low-income people, girls get married at an early age. It is for 13 to 18 years old girls. It is not like the guardians always forced them, they wanted it too with some exceptions in both villages and cities.
I have asked one village person why they do that and why they don't make their girls study more. They replied, there are some reasons, like if the girl study more then they have to find a man who had got degree more than that girl has. Men don't want to marry a woman who has more degrees than him. And in the village, it is difficult to find a very well-educated man. And when any male became more educated, they demand more money from the girl's parents to get married. Taking money from the girl's parents is becoming a tradition in Bangladesh. Without asking, the boy's parents expect many things like full house furniture from the girl's parents.
Another reason is when a girl grows up she started to get disturbed by men on her way to school or anywhere else. Many men in Bangladesh have a mindset that, if a girl is outside then they can disturb her the way they want and get pleasure from that. To save a girl from this situation, parents get them married as soon as possible.
In the city, I asked a parent, why she is getting her daughter married at an early age. They said, she started falling in love with men. The parent doesn't know when she will become pregnant before marrying, so they want her to get married as soon as possible.
When a girl started thinking about marriage, from the school level, I had some different thoughts.
I have observed many married couples. And all of them looked very happy at first sight. But if you watch them deeply or spend some time with them a little longer, you will see the black side of their relationship. And that made me think if no woman is happy with marriage then why should I go for it?
I always tried to stay away from cooking. I have seen how difficult it was for women. Traditionally in Bangladesh kitchen was built in a small room. No good air flowing in that room, because they needed to keep the fire on properly, and no comfortable furniture in there, because women will use it, our society didn't think about their comforts. No fan, No AC (not even they think about it). It's a very hot place and if you know how Bangladeshi foods are made, they took a very long time for both preparation and cook. A woman has to spend most of her daily time in the kitchen. And that was the second poor room in the house. First is the washroom.
[Both the kitchen and washroom system is changing in the Bangladeshi lifestyle. Because of media, people take kitchen beautification seriously and wealthy families make their kitchen very well technology. Some men started cooking too. But mostly still needed to fix. Thought about women's position in life, are almost the same.]
I have seen men use to say, women should be in the kitchen. Like that is one of the worse places in the house, and a woman should stay there. My mind didn't accept it. I started avoiding learning cooking. If I don't know it well, no one will want me to stay over there. That's the logic. My mom and other female family members say, no matter how much you study, no matter how big an officer you become, you have to go to the kitchen (Like a punishment room). From deep inside I said no. Then I better not get married, I am not marriage material. Let's keep boys out of my life.
In school I have seen girls becoming interested in boys, they are looking for the perfect one. I didn't know any interest in their issues. Then in college, many girls had boyfriends, and they use to run away from college, sometimes from home for their met. I have no problem with that. Your life, enjoy the way you want to. I am not getting married, I don't want to play with any boy's mind or body. I better not concentrate on these, and I didn't.
My university life was very cheerful and funny without boys. That doesn't mean I didn't encourage my friends to have a boyfriend. I gave all my support to their loved on.
Sometimes people used my name to make their path clear, like if they said, Shahana is going over there too, all parents use to give permission to go to that place. I have a lot of trust in my life, and Allah knows, I never break those.
I told my friends, don't let your parent ask me anything because then I will tell them the truth.
The way it sounds, my no boys in life isn't that easy. As I always avoided boys, I didn't learn how to make myself look better, I mean to put on makeup, and dress up, I never bother about that. Just did whatever made me comfortable and feel better.
I didn't learn how to make a man happy, even didn't know how to do sex. Because I never discuss it with anyone, never curious enough to check online (the Internet wasn't available at my young age)
My family, relatives and friends put me under lots of pressure to get married. Staying single is not a very common thing in our society.
To save myself, I had to put lots of excuses. Like before completion of my study and getting into a job I can't marry, This man is from that district, and will not be a good match for a girl from Dhaka, doesn't have hair, is too wealthy, has bad earnings, not enough tall, put a ring on my finger which looked like an engagement ring, change paths to go somewhere so that who were waiting on the road don't get to see me and many more.
If any of my friends brought any relation, I had to threaten them to stop this, or I have to break up my friendship.
But emotional pressure became very difficult for me to tolerate. Deep inside I am a human too. I gave my younger sister marriage before me. All relatives and known people made a very bad impression about it on my mom, like how could she do it with me and she passes those to me.
And some boys put good logic and emotional pressure on me that make me think maybe I could come up with something in the middle. Life will give me trouble whether I get married or not. So, to make my family happy, why don't I get married to someone, for something good? Like who needed to marry for something too. It could be financial, religious (When someone converted and don't get any girl) or any other help. Either way, no man will put effort to make me happy. So, let's help someone and tolerate a miserable marriage life for the family and society. I least from my marriage something good will be achieved.
And I wanted to be a mother too. That is the best gift I got from my marriage.
Though deep inside my heart, there is a word "UNLESS". That's why sometimes I believed in some men that they might love me. But with time they proved, no, they actually don't or never did.
[It's totally my opinion from my little experience] In Canada (Or North America and Europe), a basement is available in almost every house. People generally use it as a storage area, like keeping their washing and dryer machine, all big items that are not needed and kid's toys. Because it is under the ground area of the house, there isn't enough air and light. It's like cold storage, the whole year you will feel cold in this underground space.
Now, new immigrants started buying their houses, including the old immigrant. Most of these immigrants don't have enough money and the house prices are too high to catch. So, they somehow just manage the downpayment and bought the house on a mortgage (Bank loan). Each month they must pay their monthly premium. And, that is not a small amount that anybody can manage. So, these owners don't have any option but to rent their basement.
As I told you earlier, these areas were made to make storage (I guessed), so it is not the best well-maintained area. In some old houses, there are holes, moles, cockroaches, mice, and even bed bugs in that area. A new homeowner already expended a lot of money to buy the house, and now they don't want to give more effort into its renovation. If without full renovations they can earn money by renting it, then why wouldn't they?
The immigrants who migrated from other countries, they already expended lots of money on fees and other expenses. Especially the students. they can't work full-time to earn money, so they have to survive with a limited amount of money. The only option left for them is to rent basements with some other students. Now no matter how much trouble they face, they have to adjust to it, because they can't expend more money on this, rent is really expensive in Toronto and around the Toronto area. They can't complain to their parents or guardians in their home country, because they will worry and ask them to come back. They can't complain to any authority (If there are any who can help) because they will be kicked out of that home and other homeowners will scare to let these people rent again.
Apart from this problem, there is another big issue, the reason I have started writing on this topic, which can be solved. I think it's time to think about it. Basement means it will be under the ground. Which is always a cool area. The room temperature of the main or top floor isn't the same as the basement. These three areas have three different room temperatures. The top floor is too cold in winter and too hot in summer. The main floor is in a better situation. But the basement is always cool. It's too cold in winter, in summer it is always a suitable cooler than the outside and other floors. But in a house, the heating system can't be regulated differently. So, the house owner controls the temperature according to their need. Which doesn't matches the basement environment where tenants are living.
The heating system runs with one controller, from the top or from the main floor. So, when they felt cold in winter they turned on the heating system and whenever they felt the room is warm enough they turned it off. What happens who live in the basement? They were still cold, but the landlord from the main or top floor turned off the heating system, so they had to live in cold storage. This is inhuman. People felt sick, but again, only people who are on minimum income or students live there, they can't do anything about it.
In summer the top and main floor become hot and the basement stays comfortably cool. The top floor people who have the AC/Heating system controller turned on AC. The basement doesn't need that but they had to keep their place cooler because of the top floor. Again in C30+ temperature outside, the basement people had to wear a jacket and turn the heater on to survive. This is just a big waste of energy.
A big amount of energy can be saved just by making different heating and AC controller on different floors in the house. I think Canada, it's time to make that change. It will be a better living standard in the houses and a big save of energy and money for the homeowners.
As far as I remember It was a 6-day year-ending function. At the end of the 6th day, cultural programs were arranged. In Bangladesh, a cultural program means some songs, dance, and reciting poems. and dramas. I think a minister or MP joined that ceremony.
Viqarunnisa noon college when arranges any ceremony they make it luxurious with lovely decorations, good arrangments and very good management. But mostly by the girls. They wear sharees, beautiful makeup and flowers. You will feel you are in a different world. Like heaven. That's exactly what the MP also said, " I felt like I am in a different world, it doesn't look like Bangladesh, but surely it's great. And you guys will help to make this Bangladesh better"
In Canada, the living style is much better than in many other countries. As I have seen they maintain the angle of the house so that in summer the sun goes over the head and sunlight comes less inside the house. In the winter, the sunlight comes directly inside the house for more time. It helps to balance the weather.
Many houses have both system central heating and AC. So, in any weather, you can live better. Every water tap has a hot and cold water system.
Every home has a bathtub with a shower.
Every living area has a playground or at least an open space for kids to play.
Every kitchen has an oven with a stove to cook and a refrigerator to keep food fresh. Each home has a laundry and dryer for dirty clothes. Most houses have dishwashers.
Most of the kitchen and washrooms have exhausted fans.
Every house has two kinds of alarms. Fire alarm and carbon monoxide alarm. By law, you must have these.
In windows and kitchen doors, many houses have nets, to stop bugs to come in.
Now the question is, why I am saying these? Because still there are rooms to improve. Before I say anything negative, I must let you know, that I always appreciate the positive sides of things. That's why expecting the improvements.
I came from a middle-class family. I don't have any friends from a higher class. They always cut me off from the beginning. I never felt comfortable with them. Mainly because their subject of talking goes over my head. I am not a person who talks to please someone. Which rich people generally don't like.
In Viqarunnisa college (Grade 11 and 12) I found a different situation. Most of the girls came from rich families. Their culture and world are totally different.
I remember in our orientation assembly a teacher pointed at me and say something to principal Hamida Ali. She shake her head in denial and the teacher stop saying anything but gave me a look.
I understood very clearly. I was the only one who was wearing a hijab inside the college. Maybe they were thinking it was a women's college, so why I was still wearing it. My point was we have lots of workers and some teachers who are male. So, I should keep it.
In the class there is always a group, who are very loud, don't care about other girls and keep doing whatever they like. In Bangla kind of gunda bahini. They didn't like me because I wasn't someone who showed any extra respect to them.
As I told you I was exceptional in look because of my hijab. So, everybody somehow keeps watching me. They made me feel like I came from a different planet. Some asked, do you wear this at home, do you wear it in front of family members, do you wear them when you take a bath, what do you do in the bathroom, etc. Sometimes I answered, sometimes I became speechless with the questions of these rich Muslims. These girls only knew after death they will need a Moulana to process to go to the grave.
That gunda girls use to make fun of me. They use to laugh loudly. I kept my poker face. But deep inside, I was bullied and ruined.
I felt I am in the wrong place. I am a quiet type of person, but these people made me totally shut down. I just went to college and wait when can I come back home. I was never good in study, but the situation make me totally out of the textbook. Because those remind me of my college.
Our college had so many opportunities to do extra curriculum activity, I never think to try them, I even didn't try to know the options. I felt those are for that kind of girl, I won't fit anywhere.
I remember someone asked me about a girl, she said, she also studies in the Viqarunnisa, she looks like this, etc. I even didn't try to figure out who this was, I knew I don't know anyone. So, with a name or description, I am not going to recognize anyone. Later I understood she was talking about a girl who sits just beside me! I even don't know her name. The girl was surprised and looked at me in shock for 1 minute.
My life became a mess. I didn't do good in HSC. I had got somehow 67% marks. That gave some impact on my university study.
I have expended my worse time in life in this college.
